August 31, 2004

one of our favorite customers, brother of vocab man, has a new girlfriend. she comes in with him every day (don't these people have jobs?) and yesterday she mocked my job. twice. it is a bad idea to get on the badside of your bank teller. very bad.

i'm cranky. but fortunately there are some things to look forward to. 2 new dvd's from netflix. one of which is margaret cho so we know that's a good time. and i got my ballot today. only the state primary, but still i get to vote for her. she's 94. she was hysterical on the radio. the other candidates i know nothing about. i'll have to google them. yay for voting.

August 30, 2004

the good thing about telling hippies how much they owe on their overdraft is that they don't get upset. they just say "dude". i think more people should say dude in banks.

August 27, 2004

i just met a very nice man who works as first mate on a schooner. the problem is he doesn't have an address. and really, how would you get mail as a sailor? it's a quandary.

i was reading this and you know, it's really very much what maine is like politically. which freaks me the hell out because some of the other swinger articles have been scary. but they hit maine right on. you see those "bush lies: who dies?" stickers every where. and it cracks me up that they went to the bangor state fair. what i really can't wait for is the one about NH. i wonder which way NH will go. they really hate taxes. alot. but they also really hate stupid spending. they like state's rights, but then mr. b isn't all about that mainstay of republicanism is he? and he wants to shut down the state's 2nd biggest employer. it's so tricky.
i think i saw my first flea this morning. the neighbor cat has fleas. and the neighbor apartment has fleas. and i believe mine is next. and i'm not pleased. kitty doesn't look itchy, but it might be a matter of time. i don't want fleas in my house, i really don't. tell me, how do you flea comb a hamster? how do you flea bath a hamster? it is not going to be cool.
i am not pleased with my neighbor.

August 26, 2004

the bar harbor post office is a nebulous dark hole. and that's all i have to say about that.

the guy who owns the hippie store, or rather one of the hippie stores, said i'm a bad bamboo mommy. i have a cute tiny little bamboo plant on my desk. and i want it to stay that way. he said it needs a bigger pot. but then it will grow. and it's not allowed to grow. if you start cultivating bamboo you end up with a jungle. then he called me a bamboo nazi. but he's a nice guy really. he greets us everyday with "hello you beautiful women" and he says it in a way that i don't want to smack him.

"and then i was a pirate whore"

you can't say tia isn't funny. she has her moments.




August 25, 2004

you know it's going to be a long winter when you can see your breath in august. granted it was was 7 this morning, but really. it's august. and climate change isn't happening. i wish i could've seen john kerry on the daily show. who doesn't love jon stewart? i just realised how unnerving the election is going to be listening to npr. maybe anthony's will show it instead of football and i can watch the results with 50 of my closest friends, and pizza.
you know how every other day i say i almost got run over by tourists. well yesterday i had to run out from under the wheels of an F150 with MAINE plates. i was in the crosswalk and the guy slowed down to a stop before the crosswalk and i thought "how nice, i can walk safely to the other side of the street". until vroom vroom and i couldn't think of anything to do but run for the yellow line. i didn't even have time to swear. he didn't even look upset. there really aren't that many accidents in town for all the driving atrocities, actually i can't think of any. the only accidents have been in the park, of all places. someone accidentally drove off a cliff, but they were fine. you see it all the time. "oh honey, look at the sunset! isn't it pretty..." and then they're halfway down a mountain or flipped in the gravel. it's sad.

August 24, 2004

her: "you're saying i look like an ass" plays with her skirt
him: "you look fine, you don't look like an ass" focuses on trunk of car
me: stifled laughter as i pass on the sidewalk.
and then they got back in their car and drove away.

tourists.

August 20, 2004

i was going to take a shower after my run, and i almost had an aneurysm. there is a bug that could be measured by inches on my shower's ceiling. huge man, huge. i'm not sure what it is, but i'm going to keep telling myself it's not a spider. there is also something large and scratchy in the roof, which has kitty on her guard. so it's very tense at our house just now. i have barricaded the bug in the bathroom, after putting a towel over my head and rushing in to save kitty's potty. i shut the door and stuffed a rug in the crack. paranoid, me? i need an annie or a sarah to remove it for me. although i don't think even sarah would go near this puppy. mammoth, i'm telling you. you know that song from the prehistoric beasts commercial, i can hear the bug humming it through the door and the rug. it's fucked up. seriously.
we were busy today, and so i couldn't keep a train of thought long enough to blog about anything. you know i must be scattered if my usual posts seem really well composed in comparison. at the moment i can't stop thinking about a bulging bug filled sac in the attic. ungulating, i think that's the word i'm really thinking about. you know it's a good blog when the word ungulating is in the text.
so we were busy today. we're getting a new employee, so soon tia will be gone. they're only part time though, so we won't be able to get sick or have any on the job injuries. mary's planning a cold for three thursdays from now and i expect a rash on the second wednesday in october. but maybe that's only funny if you spent your whole day in a bank.
"elvis was gay" is my favorite key word.
busy busy bo busy fa nana fanna fo fizzy me mi mo mizzy, busy.

August 19, 2004

because i'm a masochist i read some more of that bastard patrick mcevoy's blog. he called the native people of new mexico savages. and then he said "I highly doubt that guy believed in God, with the amount of gayness he was portraying and all" after rambling on about a tall mexican guy for no apparent reason. arghh...
so we got to hang out in tias new branch and have our meeting. that branch is girly. and country cute. ours is way cooler. way more chic, if a bank can be chic.

in other news the huge yacht (the 6th biggest in the world) that was tendering off the pier is owned by a russian billionaire. apparently no one told him the cool kids go to northeast harbor with their yachts. or maybe the yacht was too big for the harbor. crazy russians. sarah, remember those boats docked at the pier? those were the size of this guys tender. damn, that's a big boat.

we all just received a fun facts worksheet to fill out for the company newsletter. mary and i are trying to think of exciting hobbies we could pretend to have. she has windsurfing and street luging, while i have rock climbing and breatharianism. we're so exciting.

August 18, 2004

so i was playing with my stats, as i am wont to do, when the day's business sputters and dies and i'm left with only my internet addiction for company. and i found a referral from this site. and i read alot of it. too much of it in fact. trying to find a link to me. i had to read about gay this and gay that. and how michael moore should be killed. and i thought, how did this guy find me? he must be one of the many people who have searched gay dogs mating (which randomly enough is a very popular referral for me) because he reads like a serious closet case who would have the imagination to search for gay dogs, mating. but i didn't find a link, not a one.
and then i noticed a referral from this blog and this one. and i think i figured it out. it's that silly next blog button on the top of the new blogger navigation bar thing. atleast i think is. if anyone can confirm that, let me know.
and i was all excited for an anonymous blog rumble, with the socialist left bloggers taking on the homophobic rush limbaugh bloggers. rats.


or you don't even get invited to cocktail parties because people think you're a dirty hippie.


one of our college of the atlantic students was getting a check for his tuition today and he asked if he could put "for nothing" on the memo line. he said some people go to college and get jobs afterwards. and i said my education qualified me just enough to be entertaining at a cocktail party and then he said the above which cracked me up.
mr. matt just visited me and oooh is it ever weird. not bad weird, good weird. it's nice to connect e-people to real people.

i've been trying to read the paper more because i am feeling vacant and unworldly, but damn it's depressing. they found that missing girls body (her dad is being excorted from prison to attend the funeral), an 11 year old boy is accused of raping two younger boys, the car accident with the 17 year old girl who was not wearing her seatbelt and was seen flying from the car. sometimes it's a blessing to have no damn idea what's going on.

and because i'm a snotty bitch: we were just chiding tia about tonights meeting. because she's being a poo. we've known about the meeting for about two weeks. she with her three calendars didn't write it down and is crabbing because she's supposed to go work out. the irony is that one of our customers, who is an old employee, was telling mary that he wouldn't put up with her behavior as an employer. oooh validation. but she'll soon be gone and hopefully she'll learn something about how you treat people in a professional environment.

August 17, 2004

nein leiberschift!

very confused german man. the only words i know in german are no and pencil. and danke shane, but i'm sure that's misspelled.
i can't cash your check, even if it is from loew's. (which incidentally does not exist in maine)



August 16, 2004

yesterday at the supermarket i overheard a very amusing conversation. it was about bait. perhaps the conversation wasn't as amusing as the situation. two families, who had apparently ordered a large shipment of bait together, were discussing the division of the delivery while in line at the supermarket. ooh and it gets better. mr. and mrs. j. crew on vacation were in between the two families. (*if you live on the island you know that even if there are six million people with groceries there will only be two lines open and one of them will have an old lady paying by check in slow, shaky handwriting only to find when she's finished writing she accidentally wrote the name of the old grocery store and has to write a new check) ok so i'm in the slow lane, behind the old lady, and the chatty bait people are in the next lane. the bait people are talking about shoveling the bait, and how you can't ever get the smell off the shovel, or your hands, or your clothes, not to mention your lawn where the bait is waiting to be shovelled. they're laughing and carrying on and joking about all that dead rotting fish. mrs. j. crew on vacation begins to look visibly ill. mr. j. crew on vacation asks her what's wrong. mrs. looks over her shoulder in disgust. but ahh, the first bait family is in front of them and she gets caught. mrs. bait family, with her baity hand, reaches over and touches her arm and asks if she's ok. and the rest i didn't get to see because i had to pay for my groceries. nothing like fish guts to make a vacation worthwile.

August 13, 2004

so i set up the rss feed which is to your left, for live journal folks. i hope it works for you matt.

i've been publishing stuff, and it doesn't show up. so i rewrite it a thousand times and then they all show up later. and i thought that this one would show up later, but no dice. so i'm fixing it. i also intended to put up matt's link quite a while ago, so i'll do that now.

we just had these two poor guys that ran about three blocks in the rain to cash their checks. the checks are on the counter, drying. the boys are back out in the rain. this is supposed to be the end of bonnie. if this is the tail end of the storm i can't imagine how it was at it's height. damn.


if it is raining, snowing, sleeting, apocolypse...every customer will say "what a beautiful day". fact.
if i can figure out the syndication thing and it doesn't cost me any money i'll do it.

it is rainy and dark out. dark like it's january. dark like the storm of the century. but atleast the rain held off enough for my family to visit. i keep forgetting it's friday the 13th. actually it's my brothers birthday. and he's doing much better according to my mom. he got employee of the month at building 19, which i think only sarah can really appreciate.

they found the missing girls car, in a river. with her not in it. but it's weird because the lobstermen didn't see it there two days ago and they have radar on their boats. they didn't publish it this way but it sounds like it just ended up the water recently. creepy.


August 12, 2004

when i post it disappears. very dissapointing.
i baked a cake. a chocolate cake with a whole stick of butter in it. the frosting had only a 1/3 cup of butter. i only had one piece, and i think it was enough cakey goodness to last me forever. mary liked it.
i forgot to bring a book to work yesterday and i was bored out of my mind. so bored i couldn't think of anything to blog about. nothing at all of interest or import. and if i hadn't baked the cake of heart failure i wouldn't have anything to blog about today either. it has become that time of year that you don't want to leave your house. it's the time of year when a trip to bangor takes less time than a trip into bar harbor. i'm dreading doing my laundry. i think i need to develop a twitch like holly uses on the T so people will leave me alone.
a teenage girl has gone missing in the milbridge area. she's gone, her cars gone, and her cell phone hasn't been used since saturday. they have it set up that if she touches a button it will alert them to where she is. they have the county atv clubs out searching all the dirt roads for her. it's very sad.

August 10, 2004

everyone is here and my niece is so fat. she's got the chubbiest legs. she can't really sit up yet, but if you position her just right the fatness of her little legs hold her upright.

August 09, 2004

i got another hit for "make your own ice luge". i think it's fabulous. another fabulous one is "Elvis Lady Killer Glasses". who wouldn't want glasses like that?
the family is coming today. in my sisters new minivan. but actually my mom isn't sure it's a minivan. she said she didn't know what a minivan was. my mother. i'm starting my hunger strike now.
i cleaned the daylights out of the house, including brushing the kitty and hamster. hamster really doesn't like being brushed. we have a tiny toothbrush with soft bristles for her. you wouldn't think a hamster would have fur problems but sometimes she looks so messy. they must clean themselves like kitties and other fur people, i've just never witnessed it. she did do the cutest thing yesterday. i gave her a piece of paper towel and she shoved it into her tube and wrapped herself up lit it was a blanket. who says hamsters aren't fun?

August 07, 2004

on my way to bangor today i saw a kid with a broken leg holding a car wash sign on his wheelchair. i wonder if his leg was really broken or if it just helps attract customers. when i drove by again it was a different kid, who looked completely ambulatory. i guess the wheelchair kid was just on lunch break. they had him parked on a hill next to the highway and i really hope he didn't roll in to traffic.

also, my neighbor's car has been leaking gas for about two weeks. and today i noticed an uncapped gas can by her front door. and if that wasn't scary enough, she's the only one of us who smokes. ironic.

August 06, 2004

some fools talked their way into martha stewart's house and now they're in jail. i read all about it in police beat. apparently the help caught on, but not before they got a tour of the house. police beat is usually very entertaining. someone got stuck in their bedrail and required assistance, a little boy locked himself in the bathroom, it's good fun.
we watched this movie last night as the last of our first fling with netflix. and it was really good. it was teeming with goodness. sarah you must see this movie. now. go and get it right now. we watched aimee and jaguar the other night and i'm really glad we saved big eden for last. we knew that aimee and jaguar wasn't going to end well, but it was chock full of sadness and the subtitles weren't very good. if we spoke better german, we might have liked it better.
but now i want to think about big eden again and how it filled my heart with joy. sigh...

i broke and sort of repaired my bike yesterday, all in pursuit of making it work on the stationary trainer thing. suffice it to say that it is going to take alot more work and the buying of some probably very expensive parts. there is also a ball bearing that sort of fell out. but it seems ok with out it.

August 04, 2004

the kitty is no longer at all pink. which i'm sorry to say i'm a little disappointed about. who wouldn't want a pink kitty.
we watched the first of our netflix movies last night, which unfortunately was Camp. however cute the gay boys were. we were at a disadvantage. we just don't know enough about broadway to have really enjoyed it. we have bigger hopes for big eden and aimee and jaguar.
i've also got to mention that i'm getting tired of the rude people. there's this sign in hulls cove that is up every summer and it says "summer people, some are not" and you know i'm really beginning to agree. it's true we need their money, but i'll be damned if it's worth being treated like dirt all summer.

August 03, 2004

i didn't think lightening could strike twice in one day, but i met bathroom lady's not so nice older sister at the laundry mat. it all happened after work, when i was trying to do my laundry as quickly as possible and go home. as i'm watching my clothes spin and get all frothy, a middle-aged couple come in to the laundromat (one word, two words, i don't know). they look down the first row of washers to where i am sitting. the woman of the couple looks at a machine with a big white sign that says "broken" and she looks at me and says "is this broken?" and i nod my head. and she walks away and then the couple sort their laundry and then come back to my row of washers and proceed to place their laundry in two of the most expensive machines which are there for rugs and quilts and the like. and then the woman looks at me and says "how much does this cost?" by then a youngish blond guy is also stuffing about 50 lbs of clothes in to the expensive machines and we both point to the 3'X3' orange sign that says $3.00. and they whine about how much that is for a load of laundry and say the machine can't possible take 35 lbs of laundry, and then she looks at me again and shouts "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?" and the blond boy and i are stunned and he says "go over there" pointing to the cheaper washers and i say "i speak english, can you read?" and the blond boy laughed but i'm not sure if the rudest woman in the whole world heard me or not. i should have demanded an apology. i should have punched her. i should have said "just because i don't want to talk to you, does not mean i don't speak english." grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
we just enountered a whole new area of rudeness. a new genre of rude, if you will. i've talked about the parking, and talked and talked. i've talked about making change, fees, and such things. i don't think i mentioned the lady who was mad at us because she took out too much money at the atm and we couldn't put it back into her account at home, but i hope we can all see where that went. but this one is new, it's about the bathroom. so on with the rant.
this lady used the atm. she was about to walk out the door when she turned to walk in to the bank. i was watching her asthough i knew something icky was about to happen. this happens sometimes when people want change, or a good restaurant reccomendation, or ask us to fix their cellphones. but she came in to ask if we had a bathroom. first of all, who thinks bank= public restroom? a gas station definitely, restaurant, a park, but not a bank. so i say "no" because we don't have a public bathroom. if it was an older person, a child, someone who looked like they were going to lose their cookies, we would help. a young person with two working legs we send to the pier or the police station where there are really very nice public bathrooms. so i directed her to the nearest restrooms which are at the pier and she says "so you walk all the way there, huh?" and i said "mhmm yeah" with a big smile on my face while she turned her back and made that "tsh" noise that i can't grasp very well with letters.
after she was gone mary yelled "you're on vacation, chill out" but i don't think she heard us. who has the energy to be so grumpy on vacation? when the cute british have real problems, like the atm not giving them money, they are so much more calm. they're in a foreign country and they can't get money, and you have to walk 20 feet to pee, get your priorities in order damn it.

August 02, 2004

i'm trying to decide if i can stand to take a class with tia this fall. now the idea of taking a whole class on banking makes me nervous, but a class that i know from the get go is going to involve tia is a different story. it could be really amusing. like when she asks questions like "am i hispanic?" when in fact she has has "whitey" tattooed on her forehead. i have a feeling it will be like at hood when we took cultures of india and our classmates said things like "if they worshipped cows why did they make them pull the carts?" and "if they had the bible why weren't they christian?". i have a feeling tia would ask questions just like this. and it would shorten my life expectancy.

August 01, 2004

i replaced mr.phone this weekend. i asked for the biggest one they had and it's still about 3/4's of the size of the old one. why so small, why? i also asked for the one that could take the most abuse but i think she thought i was kidding.
today i accidentally painted the kitty, and now she's pink. she doesn't seem to mind, and really it wasn't my fault that she used to wet red canvas to rub her face on. we've always said that red was her color, and now more than ever.
and if that wasn't exciting enough, they've started to move out the trailers. it's going to take a really long time to get them all gone but it's a step. there were about 20 guys out there, and one driving a tractor. he seemed to be the only one doing any actual work, except for the guy that yelled "whoa" every time the trailer rammed into the trees or the porch or was about to fall over and crush the 20 guys hanging around. the lady who lives below me was shouting to the "whoa" guy about her ex and how he's a jerk and mr. whoa ignored her spectacularly. actually all of the women were shouting at the hanging around guys telling them to get to work and it was me, who was left defending their honor. ironic.