You are Frankfurter Spectacular!! Wrapping hot
dogs around a pineapple doesn't make it
Spectacular any more than sticking feathers up
your butt will make you a chicken. Quit trying
to be something you're not and just RELAX
already!


What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
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oh dear...oh dear...oh dear. is it worse, or better than Mackerelly?

for the interest of all bar harbor residents, or just matt really, Gringo's is delivering again. praise the god of burritos and smoothies!

mary and i have been researching the horrors of gallbladder disease. it sounds really awful.
one of our customers was just trying to sell me on blockbuster e rentals, because he knows i do netflix. it's freaky how well people get to know you at a bank. or maybe it's just a small town. the post office guys always say they'll bring popcorn if i invite them over. it's not even really winter yet and the townies are desperate for entertainment.
speaking of desperate, i'm getting desperate for light in my bathroom. something happened a few weeks ago causing all the lights and plugs to stop working. i haven't gotten around to calling my landlord because a. my apartment is too messy to have him over and b. because i really don't like him, or c. because deep down i'm just lazy. in a fit of light getting motivative action i asked one of the downstairs ladies if she has the fuse box in her apartment. she said that she has "her" fuse box, but not mine. she said it's in my closet. but i don't have a closet, or a fuse box. i'm sure i would have noticed. it's a very small apartment, if there was a closet i just hadn't noticed i'm be f'd up indeed. i'm going to ask mrs. prison term later. she's nice, she might have my fuse box. and then i'll call the landlord. i should add that in addition to the darkness, parts of the electric wall plug sort of fell off. but if i can have light without having mr. slow landlord taking apart my bathroom i swear i won't use that plug. ever. and i'll keep the extinguisher handy. i promise.

our part time person is in the hospital. she was getting her galbladder out...but they stopped and did some biopsies and said "it doesn't look good". what kind of vague hospital speak is that. and now they're sending her home for a week to wait for the results. that just sucks.

i spent my evening singing "it's not unusual to be fuzzed by anyone" to kitty and drinking orange juice. i think she really likes tom jones. but she seemed very bummed out that i came home early. what kind of dual life could she be leading? she's so weird. ooh but i discovered that she won't set paw on the chairs i covered and she isn't scratching the rug from my dorm room like she does the industrial carpet. maybe she has an eye for quality or something.
the very exciting visit of the queen mary is now over and it seems that it was not the economic boom that was expected. the reports are either no better, or definitely worse than usual. which means it will be a very long winter.

yesterday when i left work early with my stuffy nose and acorn squash from mary's garden i saw about 40 cars parked on rt 3. taking pictures of the cruise ship anchored off the porcupines. only it wasn't the queen mary 2. it was the silver whisper. i hope they aren't too dissapointed.

one of my jamaican boyfriends invited me to a party. maybe if i didn't feel like so blah.

home. but first, boston. i drove a long way in the rain. the house and people annie is staying with are all very nice. and then we went to boston to see the folk festival which had been moved inside umb. or umass boston which, to date, is the bigges, emptiest college campus i have ever seen. and would you believe that almost the first person we saw upon entering the festival was the guy who sells happy island cow ice cream off the stonington pier? it's a small damn world.
and sunday we spent with my family eating and shopping. my meme bought rainbow fleece gloves, a pink vest, and pink polyester pajamas, and wore out annie who was in charge of her. she's very peppy. for 85. my mommy was worn out too, from her treatment which causes alot of pain apparently, but doesn't make her throw up. she looked so tired. and she didn't eat anything. and it makes my heart heavy to think about my mommy being in so much pain.

someone at the holiday inn is desperately interested in mr. blog. wonder who that could be?

yesterday someone left me a present on my car. a button that says "regime change 2004". i was so excited. it's the little things that make me like bar harbor. like the yellow people walking warning signs and all the people have hula hoops. who wouldn't heart that.
mary swears she killed a black widow in the kitchen yesterday, but i didn't want to take a closer look to verify it. do we think black widows live in maine? it left a remarkably large stain on the carpet, it was something big whether it was widowed or not.
one of my neighbors is a spy for the landlord. which is making me sort of nervous. she called to inform the landlord that our other neightbor had been arrested. which isn't really any of his business, and also would be in all of the local papers anyway. and now she who got arrested won't have her lease renewed. considering the housing situation, it was a very mean thing to do. it's one of the things that makes me wish i hadn't made connections to my neighbors. i'd rather not be part of all this petty crap.

i finished this book that i really didn't enjoy. so why did i finish it, i don't know. but then i got to the end and i read the jacket and learned that the author is dead. and now i feel bad about telling everyone how much i hated it. it was choppy, and repetitive. but maybe the guy died before editing was complete and they published it anyway. and since the poor guy died and it wasn't his fault the editing was bad i think i owe it to him to read another of his books just to check. is that weird, do we think? regardless i think i'll pick up another of his books later. if only to torture myself.
on saturday one of my neighbors got arrested. and last night she got let out. and her computer was stolen. my money is on the ex. when she asked if i'd seen anyone around, she didn't ask if i'd specifically seen the ex. but it would have to be someone who knew she wasn't home. i guess it could have been one of the other neighbors, but i don't think any of them would find value in a computer. we're waiting for the paper to come out so we can check police beat and see what she was arrested for. because we're nosy. and also police beat is good reading. very entertaining.

we are having a supremely bizarre day. some old guy on vacation tried to bully us into letting him make a collect call. if you behave oddly in a bank, the tellers will think that you are going to rob them. when people demand to use the phone or the bathroom or an illegal wire transfer or whatever, it makes us nervous. or even non-customers asking for change. you wouldn't believe how pissed off people get when you have to tell them no. getting all grumpy with a bank teller gets you put on a list of suspicious persons. it's not a good idea. just so you all know.

i'm glad you like your mug pinky, it was the last one. we asked the shopkeeper to get it out of the window. we were playing the aggressive tourists, just for you.

re: matt and munchkin cards, actually my meeting is tonight. so maybe cards, are in the cards. ha ha err.

strip clubs and bird hunting. it is indeed fowl hunting season, and bow hunting. which i assume means you can kill anything you want as long as you use an arrow. and it isn't an endangered species. not that i imagine the latter keeps many hunters awake at night. people used to hint at having killed blue herons that ate their koi. that's the problem with spending thousands of dollars on something that you then leave outside. in a pond. where the birdies just think it's a colorful easy to catch dinner. but i digress from my intended topic, which is actually annie in boston. thus far she has survived one day's commute and is very much liking her host family. she also says that everyone is stressed out there and maine is indeed the way life should be. even if we are sometimes bored out of our minds. i suppose we could spend more time shoveling.
annie's only been gone a few days and i'm learning that it's trying to be your own activities director. she's got herself a part time job restoring a historic house on the weekends for one of her bosses. there are about 200 bank classes i could take. err.

our jamaican customers are scared to death. the phone lines haven't been working since yesterday and no one can reach their families. i'd be scared to death too.

town is dead. i don't know if it's the weather or the season in general which has been really slow. most places are hoping to close early. according to the farmer's almanac it's supposed to start snowing in october. a super snowy winter would really complete the end of the world weather pattern. maybe i should have pre-bought some propane.
i'm thinking of getting a kitten. to keep kitty company. or maybe she'll hate it and try to eat it. it's a hard call to make.

and then all my hair was gone. i think the hair cutting lady mistook me for someone else, because she seriously went to town on my hair. it's wicked short. if i wasn't so schocked i'd really hate it. there is no curl. it is too short to curl. and winter is coming. i need my hair for warmth. i keep seeing it in the shiny glass and freaking out. i'm scaring myself. odds on this doesn't publish?

and also, why do i think the asshole who searched "knee jerk liberal pictur" is the same one who was searching "dirty gay truck driver" last week. those tricksy conservatives.

"Raise your hand if you think Amy and I will pass our exam tomorrow? You know, the one about the dinosaurs who wandered all over Pangea in order to find their Nazi-Buddhist brethren and take over India so that Christianity could come there? There will also be a section on the bodhisattvas: these are the people who see their nirvana a few yards in the distance and so they stop their spiritual evolution right there. "Whoa there, Nirvana! We must help the others." So they go back to the Old West in order to save all the cowboys from the world of maya."

kristen null and void is so funny. nothing like reading archives from hood.

it is a see your breath morning. too cold. fortunately i have bar harbor's ugliest mug in which to make tea and be merry and warm. it has a ceramic moose drinking a cup of coffee glued to it's side. annie was impressed with it's ugliness. she was also impressed with my studiousness last night. i did two weeks of bank class. in an hour. i'm gonna be a banking genius.

that girl that pissed me off the other day asked what my favorite aspects of the job were and i inquired whether perhaps she's interested in banking and would she like an application? hehe. and then she said "oh no, i just wanted to know if you're happy?" and then i punched her. maybe next time. it's possible that maybe she touched a nerve. but it was still rude. and i'm definitely still going to beat her up. or at the very least give her a mean look if she comes in again. grr..
my goal today, being the 1st of september, is to go out and take in the sales at the crappy stores all on main street and find a dumb maine mug for my desk. i want the worst one. i want one with moose antlers for a handle. or a lobster painted on the side with a word bubble that says i love baa haabaa. or maybe one of those lighthouse, blueberry, lobster combinations that really give you a multidimensional feel for maine.