"lots of stories to tell. flirty mcflirtster, my sister:the sun, 'i thought you were driving!' or 'this is a private conversation, you'll have to leave'. you choose." so that was sort of like russian roulette, and now i feel bad that miss sarah got the bullet(sorry babe!). the rest of those stories are fluff, and since pinky counts as two and titles two and three can probably be combined we'll finish off the err...chamber.* and also, the *'s are a little out of control today. my bad.

so, my sister christine came to visit. all the way from japan. after no talkies for almost a year. and it's like nothing happened. like everything is fine and it's not unusual to not call your family in a year whether or not someone is ill. but whatever. she is the most selfish creature ever begat (begotten? sara isn't sure). she's the one who told me, the last time my mom was sick, that she was going to die and i'd have to go live with my godparents.** well, so, yeah christine deals with things in her own way. mostly by ignoring them. and moving across the world. while she was here though, she was really very good. she busted her self absorbed butt to take care of my mom and drive matt to work and appreciate my dad's cooking. if i was honest i would say she did more than me. i can't change bedpans, i just can't***. however, she who has been home for a week was telling emily to cut up mom's food, was telling me to walk quietly on the stairs and explaining that she had to wake up in the night to take care of mom.**** the very best part was when my mom's sister (who visits three times a week and is a professional nurse and gives my dad the only real breaks that he gets) came over and told my sister how to do some little thing for mom. and christine says to me "like i haven't been taking care of her for a week!!!" irony is alive and well.
sadly, and rather more annoyingly, she did the same thing with emily's kids. she gave reid behavioral instructions not befitting a five year old***** (and also with no right as they are not her children). she who drives twice a year insisted on driving the mini-van filled with emily's offspring (even after she couldn't find the gear shift and set off the panic alarm). when i told emily christine drove, she said "oh my god! i thought you were driving!" i didn't mention that christine missed a buckle on the baby seat, you know the one holding the precious tiny baby, because emily would have gone all exorcist on her ass and then she'd go to jail. the best part was when christine changed the baby and screamed at me to help her like it was my fault she put the dirty diaper in the baby's reach. emily did tell me that she'd always rather i be taking care of her kids, which makes me feel very happy and fluffy inside. the most interesting thing about having the three sisters home is the exponential increase in gossip. when it's just emily and i, the gossip is little. when christine is around, we gossip about her. and christine gossips about emily to me. and i know that they gossip about me. it's a fascinating dynamic. but i still get the kids so i don't care.

so i don't know if that came out as funny and ironic as it was at the time, it should be obvious that i'm not myself lately. however, matt and i have big plans for happy later. mini-golf. and there had better be ice cream. the best part about hanging out with matt is that i don't have to talk. we can just sit and stare at the ocean, or watch chairman meow play, and he won't ever say "what's wrong, what did i do, are you pmsing******?".

there is no segueway, so next up is flirty mcflirtster. or rather, i was a big slut on friday. i can't remember if i mentioned the infamous tank top incident of monday(she reads the past week and sees she didn't mention it) so i'll sum it up quickly. i wore a very cute, very pink (with beads!) tank top that might have been a little low cut for your average bankteller. but it was so cute. anyway, kevin came in on monday and i thought he stared a little longer than necessary...and then it got confirmed when mr. matt mentioned it later in the week. as kevin comes in almost every friday, this friday i wore another rather low cut t-shirt, with sparkles(which is why i bought it). and whoa was it ever a day of debauchery. i haven't heard what kevin thought of it yet, although maybe i don't need to know, but sara and i have tabulated the results like it was a science experiment. our star subject was mr. flirty, who works at another bank. he came by to make a deposit. and there was of course, the usual flirting for five or ten minutes. but then he came back on his way home. to get his balance (which can be done over the phone, at our atm or indeed at his). and show us that he had stuck his bank's sticker over our insignia on his calendar (clearly our calendar's are superior and he is in denial) and chit chat for about 15 minutes: asking who the baby was, my plans for the weekend, where i went to college, et c. and then he came in again yesterday. to cash a 20 dollar check. which he could have easily done at his teller line. sara and i are laying in wait for the next move. i never would have noticed this without sara. straight girls are so smart. it's fascinating really. no wonder there's so much money to be made from the dating woes of the heterosexuals.

*catch me and my gun references.
**thus causing me to refuse to go to school for weeks and my sick mother had to cajole, threaten and force me onto the school bus so she could drive an hour and a half to work and leave early to get her chemo (you know those stories about your parents walking uphill both ways to school...my mom wins, hands down.) did i mention that her car was a lemon and the windows wouldn't roll down so she had to throw the toll tokens over the door into the thingy. and then the door wouldn't close when it was really cold...yeah, well, maybe you get the picture.
***in this respect the black sheep kick the asses of the goody-two-shoes. matt and christine have both impressed the shit out of me in the home care department. on the otherhand, emily and i will have to arrange the funeral and deal with the mourners completely on our own.
****because emily hasn't been feeding my mom for months, and i've never answered my mom's calls in the middle of the night.
*****i lay no claim to being the best babysitter or the best auntie, but i spend a whole lot more time with emily's kids than she does. i know how emily disciplines. i know that reid will listen to you if you speak to him like a person and engage his attention and praise the good behavior. i also know more or less which battles emily will choose to fight and those she'll leave. ie: you can not ask a five year old to sit quietly at a table of adult women discussing facials interminably. if he wants to lay on my lap and quietly tell me there's gum under the table, don't be offended. atleast he's not eating crayons.
******do you have ANY idea how annoying that is coming from a girl? that is a black hole of annoying.

so moonshadow matt saw me and mr. matt at epi the other day. apparently i didn't explain that rosalies is only open in the evenings, and i'm very sorry because epi is no substitute when you're thinking about rosalies. i really should've introduced you, but he doesn't know about the blog and i couldn't think of a good lie. i feel genuinely conspicuous next to him in bar harbor. i wouldn't say i look that trendy on my own, but standing next to mr. maine outdoorsman i feel excessively chic. however, he's the sweetest boy ever, who sent me a text saying he missed me and telling me to check my tires because they looked low and that is unsafe. you know you're cared for when a boy checks your tire pressure. he mentioned that he picked me up something at home depot. i'm thinking fire extinguisher. if so, he knows me very well and has a sense of humor about the arson thing. that has to be positive.
while i was on vacation yesterday, i cleaned out two huge bags of clothes and dropped them off to benefit the spca. some lucky size 12 is going to be getting a shitload of practically brand new limited gear. and some express. and some j. crew. i don't know why i think my taste is recently more expensive, it's about the same. gap is just preppier...or something. they're also alot smarter stocking fat girl sizes when limited doesn't. that has to be the better business strategy given national tendencies, and it makes me like them a little bit better.

my mom's disease is progressing and starting to cause more than physical symptoms. or, since i can't think of a better way to put it, she's having hallucinations. the only treatment is sedation, which my dad has been taught how to do, but they only do that if the dreams agitate her. as long as she's having happy good dreams, we just go with the flow. everyone is having their own experiences with it. apparently my father neglected to discuss the possibilities with my brother. the poor dear awoke in the middle of the night to get a drink or whatever, and he heard my mom talking. he went in and asked "mom, are you alright? what do you need?" and she said "we're having a private conversation, you need to leave". to which my brother freaked the hell out and woke up my dad (who thinks this is the funniest story ever and given his life at present whatever floats his boat is fine with me) and my sister. i can see why he was freaked out. my mom asked my dad to bring drinks for the two girls visiting her, which he couldn't see and thus refused to serve.
while i was there she kept asking where her bag of ice was, for her bath, and decided it had melted and then she fell asleep. she also defended my right to bacon and demanded that christine share her bacon with me because i kept asking for it.* my cousins were at a loss at what to say, with good reason. but bless them they keep coming to visit her and bringing her cake. sweethearts, all of them.

*it should be obvious that i never asked for bacon and that my sister didn't give in to the demands that she share while repeating "mom, amy doesn't eat bacon", "no, she doesn't" "mom, she doesn't want the bacon".

lots of stories to tell. flirty mcflirtster, my sister:the sun, "i thought you were driving!" or "this is a private conversation, you'll have to leave". you choose.

otherwise mothers day and the weekend went as expected. i was home yesterday, more weary than sick, and that is why there was no blog. i also had the phone off. which was very peaceful really. i very much enjoyed my day alone and i hope no one worried too much. sarah, i ow you a phone date. i totally forgot it was monday.

mary is out sick. sara doesn't feel well. i don't feel well. and i cannot and will not rifle through chris' office, i don't care how bad you need your tax return.

i have been rather short of inspiration lately. and also freezing* so my attention span is rather short. mostly i'm thinking about being cold, and well, that's BORING. i'm drinking hot tea at the moment. lemon lift. which makes me feel about a thousand years old but it's so lemony and refreshing. i ought to be studying for my bank class final...which i was supposed to do a few weeks ago...but we all forgot. i didn't know how exciting contract law could be. err.
nothing to report lately. no car accidents, no fires, no expensive broken electrical equiptment. rosalies is open, which is pretty cool. i'm going to see if i can talk matt into getting pizza for dinner. which means pretty much that i just have to ask him.** for the locals there's a new italian restaurant open for the summer. where pagliarulo's crashed and burned in the anthony's building, Pasta's should do pretty well. it's owned by locals with lots of connections, and not a real estate mogul from boston. also in the vein of gossip, acadia corp has bought miguel's and is going to give it a try. acadia corp has fewer friends, but more employees, in town so it will be interesting to see what comes of that.
Nature's Way cafe is no longer, not that they weren't doing well she just needs a break. There's going to be a breakfast restaurant there being run by a friend of ours, hopefully it'll do well this season.
i'm trying to do the vacation planning thing early this year. instead of packing the morning i leave. i'm thinking of who will look after my kitty. sara or mary would probably be happy to do it, i'm sure matt would too. the bonus of having matt do it is that chairman meow knows matt. and enjoys his attention very much. whereas she hides from strangers, ie mary or sara. i can't see him pawing through my belongings or otherwise being creepy. is that too girlfriendy a thing to ask?



*was i cold yesterday? was i cold monday? did i remember to bring a sweater to work today, uhm no.
**how much do i love that? lots.

new hampshire makes the news about having and enforcing a law. what's that about?

went to the gap. armed with coupons. bought nothing. new leaf?

dude, do you think we don't know when you alter a check you want to cash? we're not that stupid. we're not. and you know what, you can go to jail for altering checks. they call it what...fraud? dumbass.

the flourless chocolate cake was a hit. i was worried. it was very jiggly. jiggle jiggle. i whipped the cream by hand at the bank. our customers must think i'm genuinely insane. per the norm, last night was phone night. hi everybody who called me! i wish i had realized i could talk to everyone free in, like, december (smacks head). it's so nice to talk to my loved ones. and holly if you remember that funny thing, send me a text.
so i cut off my hand last night. i was cleaning some potatoes to do the last roasted vegetables of the season and the knife slipped. the tip went about a 1/4 inch into my palm. owww. and i keep forgetting and putting weight on it. and then saying ow, and reminding myself not to do that. who gave me a degree? what is that about?
mr.matt and i have a mall date for tonight. last time we went there i was very constrained...this time i just don't know. they have all the cute black dresses out. where the fuck am i going to wear a cocktail dress? in maine? as a bank teller? but they're so cute...

while i was home i saw the coke with lime comercial, so today i bought one. moo. regardless, i rather enjoy it. mary said to try it with some rum. off topic*.
i'm planning to make a flourless chocolate cake tonight, in the midst of cleaning the house and calling everyone back**. i have some fresh whipping cream i have to whip with urgency lest it go bad. so obviously, i have to buy some ingredients to make a cake. to use up the whipping cream. is that logic? does one need an excuse to make a cake? 'specially a chocolate one.
while i was home i offered to take fat kitty home with me. he said they were doing ok, but he'd think about it. i offered partly because dad has quite enough work to do without cat work and kitty is oft found under the feet of my family**. and partly because he's really not all that well cared for. he's the fattest kitty ever. and still they feed him wet food every morning. and his fur is a nightmare. i chased him around all weekend with the cat comb, much to the delight of christine who thought his torture was hilarious. also, he needs to go to the vet. i thought about taking him for a kitty vacation, and doing the vet and grooming thing here. though i don't think i can take 5 hours of mewing only to have to face it again the hext week. who would be more tortured, me or him?

*one of my favorite things about my fake boyfriend is that he won't take pepsi as a substitute for coke. i always do, even though i don't really like pepsi. he's got standards.
**i don't know what the deal is with the phone, but it doesn't always ring. it could be a result of the weather, or sometimes you need to turn it off and on and it works normally enough. anyway, i'm sorry everyone and i'll try to get back to you all asap.
** "he's gonna be dead and i'm gonna be in traction"-my daddy re: fat kitty.

i just cleaned out my desk drawers for the 5th time this spring. man do i hoard alot of crap. but that's beside the point. i left for home really early on saturday morning and got there in plenty of time for the family picture my sister planned as a surprise for mom. they actually came out rather well, despite reid's constant refusal to be photographed*. christine and i did a bit of shopping, her more than me praise god. she must have bought 20 pairs of shoes, mostly bandolino's at marshalls.** i only bought a few pairs of shoes*** and probably i'll return them. so it's really like i bought nothing at all.
we also bought my sister a computer**** and stocked up on american candy and cereal for her friends back home. apparently the canadians are the worst with their stateside requests. it seems in canada you can see all the comercials for american products, but you can't always buy them. we bought almost an entire cart of candy. it looked like we were having the sleepover party from hell.


* reid "i don't want to have my picture taken"
christine "who are you, naomi campbell? get over here."
**nashua marshalls sells banodlino and cole haan. but not in maine, no.
***to which mattsays innocently "how many pairs of shoes do you need" and i say "not the point my friend" and he says "uhh, ok". that takes care of that.
****a brand new shiny iBook. so tiny and cute. and i'm so jealous. because $1500.00 computer i have doesn't collect enough dust or hold down enough paper, i need to add a mac to my collection. if i won't spring for internet, i don't need a new machine. but damn, they're hot!

matt remembered that today is the same date that we met and he took me to lunch at the whale. can you believe he remembered that, i can't.

i'm back and i couldn't be more glad. the birthday dinner was fine. his parents and grandma are adorable. just like mine, when they used to go out. his grandma ordered ribs, tasted all the cocktails and ate most of matt's steak. it was hilarious. just like my meme, only she'd have ordered a beer. i've been invited to drop by any time i like and to a series of barbecues, his mom is the cutest. we'll see how all that goes. there weren't too many questions but they were a little awkward. his brother thinks i'm a vegan, and his girlfriend didn't know what that was. and then he asked me why i don't eat meat at a table of people all eating meat in a steak house. not the place to go into depths about the meat packing industry. and then he asked why i didn't drink, again at a table full of people with drinks. and i said "my brother's an alcoholic" and sheepish isn't the word. you ask non-stop questions get used to hearing the answers.
in regards to dress, which is like the real climax of this whole thing* everyone but his mom, his grandma and i, were wearing jeans. probably it's a good idea to hit the mom's standards at a first meeting. not that any of this bears thinking about really. but he and i both really like my new khaki's and i'm officially not allowed to shop at the gap anymore.** he's always very complimentary about my clothes. i can't figure out if it's nice boy training or if he really notices. it's nice though. i reached the point long ago that i appreciate the effort of someone saying something nice just because, or even say...to get in my pants. whatever. it's nice to hear that you look pretty, or you smell nice without having to ask. me and my vanity.

*and also she seemed to really like the daisy plant i got her. after the soul deadening search for the most emily post gift.
**at first it was just the clearance section, and still usually i talked myself out of spending the money. and then i started browsing the only slightly marked down sections, but still with the guilt. and NOW i browse the whole damn store and i'm beginning to think i need an intervention.

the castine branch is very pretty. and very anti-climatic. i am the boredest amy. i was hoping it would be busy so i wouldn't have to think about this dinner...but alas. sorry i missed your call last night mimster! i went to sleep early, i think i'm coming down with a cold. which is no good at all! can't bring a cold home to my mom.

i woke up early and watched the sunrise over the cove this morning. which would be really romantic and stuff if i wasn't so damn tired now. silly lethargy. matt and i watched a jerry bruckheimer movie i can't remember the name of last night. which works because i slept through most of it. everyone was happy. we also went to rup's and were very eerily the only people there for most of our meal. but the bartender/waiter was very nice to us. this is a good time to do bar harbory stuff, before the tourists floweth over. we hiked a bit around schooner head (where i will gladly take my beloved houseguests if/when i have any) and made a seat on a very cool cave. why do you suppose boys have to lean over cliffs to see how far they can lean without falling? is that darwinism? what's the deal?
so the party is at a steak house. and he said "you've never been there before?" all genuinely surprised and i said "uhm, steak house?". what does one wear to a steak house? i just don't know. per the ever frequent norm, i'm going to bangor tonight to figure out a little birthday gift and a steak house outfit. obviously, i'm thinking about this way too much. but really, i'm like a hostage. a parent visiting hostage. argh!

i'm still sort of working on going through my closet. it's a long process. but one i need to finish soon. the sooner i get the goodwill bag out of my house the less likely i'll go through it and say "maybe i could use it for a rag?" or "well, actually, it would be good for layering, like to go sledding". one, i sled not at all this winter and B why do i need rags? dusting all that nice furniture i don't have. waxing the oxidized paint on my car*. GIVE IT AWAY, GIVE IT ALL AWAY. the hardest part is telling yourself that this thing you really liked to wear, in say your senior year of highschool, is NEVER going to fit again**. even if it were still in style.
mary and sara and i were all discussing the trials and tribulations of truly purging your wardrobe. mary has pants she hasn't worn in 30 years, but still she hopes. i think when i go home i need to make myself a sign. something like "YOU WILL NOT LOSE 20 POUNDS!" and then maybe i'll really be able to make some space in the closet for things that do fit. give the fat girl clothes their due. and really, if i do lose 20 pounds...i'm going shopping. no question.
i keep reminding myself that if i have to move again there is going to be a major purge. yard sale, everything goes. well, not everything...because i'm weak, but lots of things. like the futon, that's going to the first coa student with a truck and a chiropractor, free of charge. and the carpet that refuses to succumb to my shark (roar!!!). the lamp with the tentacles, gone. i'm not going to stress over moving all that replaceable crappy stuff. and i can't deal with the single tear that will move down my father's cheek when i fill his basement with my crap again.***
so i have to look on the great clothing purge as a means to a less painful move and a more efficient way of living. very martha. god help me.


*fake boyfriend said we could repaint my car. he has both the skills and equipment to paint a car. in his garage. next the the excavator and the back hoe. no, REALLY.
**holly, remember those velvety pants. i loved those pants. size 10. can you believe my ass was ever that small?
***poor daddy.

in case anyone else was wondering, matt my fake boyfriend does not read this site, does not know it exists and doesn't need to, i don't think. i don't know how he would feel about it, but it's mine and it's not communal property and he's not likely to run into it. how would he feel if he knew i called him my fake boyfriend. if it broke his heart i would know he was laboring under false pretenses. we've had the discussion many times, in many ways. and frankly it's just an amy-ism* that i can't change. that i don't want to change. if it's that bothersome to anyone, no one is forced to visit this site and read about my callousness. i like to think that my behavior to him is the same as to anyone else, i'm as kind and as honest and as crazy as i am with any of my other friends.
he claims to appreciate, opposed to being annoyed, that i am different from other girls and doesn't mind the oblivious thing** actually he said it was cute. but then i haven't set his house on fire yet, so i think cute might have a statute of limitations. the word he used is "eclectic". i can totally understand why he would say that, but it seems a bit unwieldy just for lil' ol' me.
so uhm yeah. i very rarely mean to offend. and if i do there usually is no question of my meaning. there might only be one way to get a direct response from me, and that is when someone pisses me off. then i can be direct and focused and sometimes articulate. in my rage. but for real, if i offend him with my language or behavior, why would he want to hang out with me? if i offend anyone here with my word usage and blaise-ivity*** there are only like a gazillion other websites and blogs to read. i don't see the point in editing myself, at this stage of my life, except for a little bit at work. and maybe a little for my family and the families of my friends****. but it's really not worth it, it's a hard charade to keep up.


*if i could edit as i speak, i wouldbut generally it's either full throttle or tortured silence, and i'm done being silent for the comfort of others (see previous post) so it's full throttle with fake boyfriends and craptastic t-shirts (hi holly!) and super natural cleaners.
**i sort of left the window on the passenger side open, when it was raining, and he didn't yell at me or complain even though his seat was really wet. additionally, i thought i had ruined my new bag and he was all concerned even though his wet seat was so much more pressing.
***this really worked, in my head.
****hey holly, remember that time i told christine's mom we were going out to do drugs and pick up whores? no wonder they thought i was the bad seed. did i actually say the whore's thing? maybe i just thought it. do you remember?

my favorite referral terms of this week are:
chilled plum hair...did it work for you, did your fake boyfriend notice?
gavrillo princip, and the life and times of gavrillo princip...welcome highschool seniors, sorry you're taking ap euro.
marden's discount, NH...there are no mardens in nh, sorry y'all. try building nineteen, my brother works there...the guy who looks amish. no, i'm not joking.

i spent saturday with mr. matt and sunday sorting my clothes for good will*. i was supposed to go home this weekend...but i am also supposed to get the car inspected this month...so uhh i'll go home next weekend. it's also been icky and rainy and no fun for driving**. so we hung out at my house playing trivial pursuit and watching movies and petting chairman meow. it was a good time. he spent his morning shaving off his beard, an act for which he will suffer mightily today. but he looks less like a member of zz top now and the change is quite pleasant. it seems the last time he sported the clean shaven look was his highschool graduation. can't wait to have dinner with his family now. actually, it can't be as bad as families previously. i'll be allowed to talk to them properly, without "don't mention this, and they don't know about that and FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T SOUND GAY!!!". his family doesn't know about the, err, gay thing*** and it's highly unlikely (i hope) that there would be any reason to ask me about my past relationships. friendly dinner and all. deflect deflect deflect...maybe i'll stop at the church and light a candle.
yesterday i did some necessary shopping at target and the mall. i stopped in to the gap and picked up some discount t-shirts. black ones. which apparently is the only color i know how to buy. as i was cleaning out for spring i noticed that i have two shelves of black shirts, and then there's the closet. do i always dress like the devil's handmaiden or what? mary said "maybe you're a vampire?" ha, funny. she also said "you wear colors...uhm, like brown...and uhm...pink?".

*do i really wear that much black?
**matt stopped by on friday afternoon to say hi and suggest that i go home friday night so i wouldn't have to drive in the rain. part of me is like "uhm, i do know how to drive" and part of me is all "aww, he doesn't want me to die".
***i said that what he told them was up to him, i'm not ashamed but i don't see a need to broadcast either.

me "i should've called, nothing's open here on saturdays"
emily "on saturdays?"
me "yeah, i know. there must be somewhere to have it done on a saturday. for christ's sake."
emily "yeah, specially for him. his week is pretty booked up."
me "seriously"

i just got like, another job. for after work. i'm going to be a two income family. go me.

i think chairman meow has a drug problem. i was painting my nails the other day and she sniffed the polish remover a little too enthusiastically. she sneezed for five minutes flat, and then came back to sniff it again. she's a huffer. a fluffy huffer. what am i gonna do with her, my poor strung out fuzzy. a parent's job is never done.
we drove around the park yesterday afternoon, and were the only people on sand beach. it was very beautiful, and if it wasn't so damn cold on cadillac we would've taken the top off the car. sarah, what was the mountain we climbed with the rock that the boy scouts were trying to push off the top? i can't remember the name.
i'm supposed to teach my sister how to drive my car this weekend. hey, i didn't need that clutch. no, i'm sure it'll be fine. and i've picked up some ginger pills for the nausea. so i'm prepared. those two weeks as a girl scout make all the difference.
matt is spending the weekend working on the back hoe and painting the doors of his brothers truck. like in his garage, he's going to paint a truck. it amazes me the breadth of practical skills folks here have. hanging a deer, painting cars, building cabinets. even more amazing is the building of vehicles. the story, as i understand it, is that his beast* of a truck isn't going to pass any kind of an inspection** even with the winking and the handshakes in small town maine. so he's looking for parts to build a new one. call me crazy, where i'm from people go to this place with all these shiny car like things and uber-friendly guys named bob who waltz you through the erotic dance of car buying. no no no, not here. apparently. he's looking for the frame of a dodge truck going cheap. on which he would like to put a chevy body (when he finds one) and some kind of super-hyped diesel engine*** to form a bastard of a truck. which is what they did for his brother. i guess there's sense to taking the parts of the vehicles you like best and making something you really want. but shit, i don't even know if i have a sun roof. how does one learn all that stuff about cars? guess they didn't cover that in home ec.

*very literally
**it is older than him, and has a lot more rust.
***so he can do bio-diesel.

castine. next week i'm going to castine. castine, is 80 miles away. look at this. MDI is so not close to castine. far actually. 80 miles far. you know, floaters get more money than me. i'll have to talk to the supervisor about that...

i have a bowling date tonight with my fake boyfriend. we thought it was going to rain. but it's really nice out. so maybe we'll hit the park or something. it's a kickass day to go hiking. mr. shy approves the plan and he sent back a note to ask if i was having a good day. it takes 8 seconds and it makes me so happies.
our trainee teller quit today after spending only one day with us. i swear it wasn't my fault. i was totally nice. it was something about the lifting. but still. sara swears we're not scary and she's still here...so. it gets a little old with the people calling and quitting with no notice.
the season is starting. which is good because one can go to ben and bills on their lunch break, and rosalie's will open soon and then one can gorge on pizza and ice cream. it's also good because our favorite customers will start to come in every day and we'll get twice as much gossip time as in the winter. it's bad in that parking will soon be an issue* and the crankiest of the crankies will soon be trotting through the bank asking us to cash checks from a lowes in iowa and to use the restroom which we do not have.
the bank's husband is here putting in our air conditioners. he's very nice. he trots around to all the branches doing guy things like using hammers and lifting heavy stuff. he's wearing a hawaiian themed shirt today, because bar harbor time is fun time...requiring the proper gear. he's a cutey!
i think it's a good day to go for ice cream, and i think my fake boyfriend will be easily persuaded. if it hasn't become obvious**, i'm really getting attached to spending time with someone who enjoys pleasing me so much. next weekend we are so painting pottery.

*actually not so much "an issue" as "the issue" and we will all have to spend hours listening to people complain about the parked cars that ferried their bread and butter on to the island. there is no way to win on this issue. it's two months out of the year GET OVER IT!
**or maybe i blog it every second paragraph...obvious regardless.

i am being shadowed today, in a very literal manner. as in i do expect her to stand behind me ALL DAY with her eyes peeled. so there isn't really a post today. i did want to say that i have the fake boyfriend every girl wants, according to holly. he called last night while i was at the mall to confirm our date for thursday and began his message with "hey beautiful". she screamed for half an hour when i called her. i love her. as i was relating the event to sara the bankteller, my mall companion, i said "but he's not my boyfriend." and she said "he's trying". so true, so scary.
we had a very good time at the mall, it's fun to go with a girl. i got a skirt i might not keep and i got some pants i have to take up. trying to find an appropriate outfit to wear for the mom's birthday. it's no wonder straight girls seem so on edge, it's a lot of work to look so casual and unfussed. i'll be gray by next thursday, i swear.
i've been thinking about a new tattoo for memorial day. i am planning to get my piercing re-pierced (it's only a very tiny bit healed and there's just a hole...might aswell try again and put a ring back in) and thinking about a new tattoo. something like the new lotus but on my back. where my father will undoubtedly see it and will subsequently hemmorhage. but it'll be so perty! something to think about...

and then sara pulled an amy and dropped her dinner on the floor. and since i know that territory well, i reached for cleaner in the cabinet. and she said "is that for carpets" and i said "it says all purpose" and she said "as long as it doesn't have bleach in it" and i said "no, it's super natural*" and she said "well shit, it better clean the carpet".

*bio-degradable et c.

this morning just as we were starting to get our bank on* (**), mary's superior called. and she's saying "uh-huh, shorthanded, uh-huh...really. oh, ok" and on and on and i'm once again going "not me, not me, not me". but it totally wasn't so it's all good. it's even weirded than me going to the M.O., the M.O. is coming here. see, i said it was weird. they're going to be short of training capable folks at the world headquarters so the "mary 'blank' school of banking" is open for business.*** so we're going to have, like, lots of help this week. and on thursday i'm in charge of training the new person. mwa hahaha.

for the 2 people on this earth i didn't talk to last night, i have decided to meet the parents at the birthday party with the obvious focus on his mom and not me. and attempt to avoid twenty questions with the family. this be the plan. and then i had nothing else to say. but wow, we're going to have four tellers. WOW?

* my new favorite phrase...one, two years late?
(** the footnotes, atleast in this style, i picked up from one good thing. it seems superior to my excessive use of parenthesis(although sometimes i prefer the parenthesis and per mare you don't have to scroll down but then sometimes it seems more like a footnote thing than a parenthesis thing so it's a toss up and all part of the colorful tapestry of life)
***per chris, he was very surprised and is convinced they are going to relocate me. THE HORROR!

i just passed up an opportunity to be on tv. the network heard about the blog and...no, not really. that would be awful*. wabi just wanted me to say "good night from Bar Harbor" but i couldn't bring myself to do it. people watch the news. people who bank here. and i have a pimple. i'm not going on tv in front of a customer filled public with a pimple. mary was very disapointed in me and i promised that next time i'll do as i'm bid by the tv lady.
i got my new driver's liscense in the mail today. the bastards put your weight on it.** New Hampshire didn't do that...Maine has no class. but the picture is ok. and the service very prompt. and i got some articles from mimi, dick you can tell her they arrived and are much appreciated! also i learned that heels from target, while deceptively comfy, are not at all meant to be walked in from the bank to graves and back. ouch!
i love my new old book very much. it's circa 1853 and it is hilarious. my favorite is "from a gentleman with some fortune who saw a Lady in the park, to her mother". straight to the source on that one.
i have talked new sara into coming to the mall with me tomorrow. she has a bunch of wedding stuff to do and i have to... well, nothing really but do i need an excuse to go to the mall?
what i do need an excuse for is to get out of matt's mom's birthday dinner? it sounds like a sticky wicket. do i go? do i bring a gift? a card? what kind of gift? will his family hate me? will i really hate his family? this is so not a few weeks sort of commitment, the meeting of families is like months on my scale. but then am i the meanest girl ever if i don't go? argh! suggestions gladly accepted on this one.

*and then i got fired.
**i don't actually know my weight and i just made it up so i'm not sure if it's good or bad or what.

am i ever a happy amy to be back in bar harbor. i got quite a hero's welcome, stemming from the desperation they felt on friday. but i'll take that as a positive sign. i got to go to target and the mall twice this weekend...as matt and i hung out there on sunday afternoon. we did some shopping for our mothers (i found my mom egg cups that are cute little ladies winking and smiling, teehee) and walked around down town.* we also went to see the major motion picture, sahara, which is hilarious despite being partially cliche and obvious and having a very unrealistic civil war battle scene. sarah, since steve zahn is your boyfriend you'll love it.
i drove around with the top off on sunday, waiting in fear that my sorry ass taped up liscense plate would fly away, but overall feeling very cool in my convertableness. must invest in new sunglasses.
in weird news, mr. shy matt's mom invited me to their house for dinner last night. she has all these ideas of vegetarian food. how cute is that? i had to decline on grounds of weirdness but maybe next time. actually, next time is his mom's birthday and the family is going out. he asked me to think about coming, we're not sure. meeting the family really makes me a little nervous. they all seem to know all about me, well not all...that would be fucked up. the only emotions i can come up with are fear and "huh" but maybe that's not an emotion.
as i have, like, work to do...i can't blather on about all the girly stuff i did this weekend (bought a purse, and shoes, and a skirt...) to be balanced by the one butch thing i did this weekend (waxed my car). but whoa, i bought a skirt and new heels. matt seemed rather shocked when he asked me what i did saturday but not as shocked as when i knew the floor in his house was recycled wood beams. see, i have skills.


*where we went in to this old bookstore and i got "the fashionable american letter writer, or the art of polite correspondence" some(nay most) of you fine folks should expect some polite correspondence in the near future.

so, it's friday morning and i am at work, per the norm, and i'm waiting to punch in* and mary gets a phone call. and she's saying "uh huh...to fill in...i'll ask her". so i'm saying to myself simultaneously "please be sara...please be sara" and also "not the shopping center, please not the shopping center" because i knew it wouldn't be sara, i knew it would be me so the first inner voice would be the voice of denial and the second the voice of abject terror. and then mary says "uhh amy, fancy going to the main office?" and i say "the main office?" and she says "yes" and i say "the main office" and she motions yes with her head. and then i guess i said "sure".** as i was getting ready to leave we wondered what tragedy could entail taking one of the three tellers from bar harbor to help out the m.o. pretty much the tragedy is that everyone of important went on vacation at the same time and per refusal to staff some departments adequately the teller line was shorthanded.
so off to the mo i went feeling sure that my style of tellering and that of the main office would not jive and atleast afterwards they'll never ask me to fill in again.
it wasn't terrible at all, seeing as their supervisor was on vacation and they were not very busy, atleast not by my standards.*** i did do like 100 something transactions but we never had a line. it's a very different atmosphere to be sure. and i missed my customers. i forgot what it's like when people assume you're new and treat you like an idiot. the m.o. employees seemed very surprised indeed to see me behind their line and the double takes were pretty funny.
meanwhile the emails from bar harbor were hysterical. they were flat out and mary had to turn away some new accounts. sara ran out of money (but didn't end up having a panic attack under her desk atleast) and she has forbade me to leave them ever again, on a friday.**** dennis seemed equally surprised that i was in the MO and i'm rather bummed i didn't get to freak him out when he walked by. that would have been priceless. as it is the computer department thinks i'm insane because they had to re-server my email so i could use it there and there were like 300 emails from dennis with the same title (you do not want to know what we were arguing about, the man is insane) and mr. computer's like "there seems to be a problem and i can't figure it out, you have all these weird emails from dennis ******" yes they are weird but they are supposed to be there. "uhm...mr. computer, we were arguing and i have to keep them so i have documentation of his hypocrisy". he didn't seem amused.
so that was my big day at the main office and i really hope i don't have to go back or become a convenient floating teller. i'm not interested. meanwhile matt called me last night from nj (where he had gone with his cousin, did i say that?) to see how my day was.***** he's coming home today, short trip. more on that monday, i'm sure.




*lest the evil of overtime wipe it's dirty paws on me.
**because i have no will and no capacity to say no.
***busy by my standards is when you completely run out of money because you don't have enough free moments to get more and then you have to hide under your desk to re-group (when there aren't any customers o'course).
****any other day it seems i'm dispensable..sob sob.
*****sweetheart.

at the main office you get a cushy long lunchbreak...so i went shopping. i tried to get egg cups for my mom, but they weren't cute (sarah, remember the cute ones at the grasshopper in bangor...i'll go there tomorrow) and then i went to the shoe store because i really neeeeeed brown heels so i won't have to wear the black shoes with the brown belt because it's painfully tacky and we can't have that (not that anyone in this state would notice). but they didn't have any. so well go to the mall on saturday and transact that important business. ahem. and since i have a few more minutes to waste...i bought earrings. some pseudo chandeliers and some pearly pearls to match my necklaces. man, am i ever weak.

no bloggies today. am at the main office. 6.5th sign of the apocolypse...bar harbor sends help to the mo. effing weird.

re:paying for dinner. months back, during my last trip to md, kirsten gave me a laundry list of boy/girl dating comparisons. it was as fascinating to hear it from her as it is to experience it myself. one of her top points about dating boys is that they like to pay for stuff, some kind of alpha male thing, and she suggested not only to take advantage of this but also that it is insulting not to. which i get, while having some reservations in practice. my policy in practice is to offer, accept his answer graciously either way and to always say thank you.* he usually suggests i get the tip if i want to contribute, which i think is more than fair for my part.
as i refer to later in the footnotes(but since i just wrote it, it seques nicely on my end) i've spent a fair bit of time lately trying to figure out what i want. out of life, relationships, yadda yadda. lord knows i have the time, i ought to use it eh? amymas and i chatted about our relationship stuff, such as me following her lead to purge the negative. there was a lengthy discussion about attraction. such as someone who's attractive gets less attractive if they're uhm...an asshole. conversely someone who might not spark immediately gets more attractive by the merit of their character.
this is where i am stuck right now. it's hard not to be attracted to someone who is nice to you and treats you well. and this boy, he's SO nice. he listens to what i say and remembers it. he thanks me for the time we spend together. he doesn't complain, ever. he's willing to compromise and appreciates my willingness to compromise. he's observant (he noticed the chilled plum without prompting) and complimentary, without any hint of slimyness. and i can't help thinking "what's wrong with that?". what is wrong with spending time with someone who's kind and enjoys your company, and who's company you rather enjoy too. i know part of it is lonliness. and the whole thing is weird and out of my frame of reference. but for heavens sakes, he knew that johnson killed kennedy and we could have talked about it for hours.** good sign.

*jennifer, for all the crazy and disingenuous behavior, was always polite (atleast about that kind of stuff) and did know how to behave kindly and thoughtfully. i've been thinking about that recently under the guise of figuring out what i want at the moment.
**because we're dorks.

yesterday my fake boyfriend and i went to the car wash and now all the questioners of women who wash their own cars can eat it. we scrubbed and sprayed and he didn't complain when i accidentally blinded him with the power spray. i let him buy dinner but i couldn't let him pump my gas for me. too weird. did anyone know boys insist on doing this? i didn't know this. i guess they call that lack of life experience. what did he say, it was fascinating, oh yeah "you're not used to people doing stuff for you." no, no i'm not. it really freaks me out actually. i can't help thinking what the angle is when really he's just being nice.
(does it drive any else crazy how i can't go two sentences, or one even, without saying really, IT DRIVES ME CRAZY TOO!)
on the way to the car wash, we passed moonshadow matt who did not appear to be focusing his attention on the road, tsk tsk. very dangerous. we exchanged beeps and he has seen proof that i did indeed get the vanity plate i had hoped for. (and taped same to the dead center of my back window thus inhibiting sight...must remember not to put window down as will certainly lead to a chat with the police.)
i have big plans for the weekend that most certainly include waxing the car and bathing the cat. god help me. wall o'claws.

this morning i went to the bureau of motor vehicles. and really it was very easy. the computers were down and the nice lady was very apologetic but it seemed to make no difference in the process. i was the second person, and i have the computer generated number to prove it. i got a new license and a vanity plate all at the same desk. the employees seemed a whole lot less cranky than in NH, the proximity to massachusetts must effect the dmv crankiness ratio. i am very excited for my new maine stuff to come in the mail.
i talked to amy the mas last night and it was the best. i am planning to come to maryland the memorial day long weekend. so uhh, get your reservations early. space is limited. or something.
i went to the mall last night, ten percent off tuesday at the gap! (although, i didn't get my ten percent off...but maybe that's because everything i bought was on clearance...but everything i ever buy is on clearance...so really it's just an excuse to go back to the mall and get it straightened out) i have some kind of gap addiction. the sales and all, hard to resist. very hard. i feel like i'm making up for lost time though...as i wasn't able to shop at the gap for a long time*. so i'm reveling in it now. and yesterday, since i was dwelling on the above, i ate chicken. not free range, evil fast food chicken that will kill me slowly...and i liked it. take that pointless harbored aggression!
that brings me to something that i never talked about here, but was probably rather obvious and known to most everyone (sorry pinky, i know i confused you). especially since the dating of the boys began. i didn't talk about it because, well...i was a tiny bit bitter and angry about it (does it show?) and also because it just didn't seem appropriate. you would think i wouldn't be so bitter and angry since it was in fact my idea and my doing, but spending two years of your life under the delusion that someone cares about you is a recipe for bitter and angry (a pinch of this, a smidgen of that). as amymas said last night, i just don't need these negative feelings in me anymore, so i'm trying to wash my hands of it now. i just don't have the emotional energy to waste on the negative. it probably still isn't appropriate to blog about it, but shit, it's my blog and there are some things i think i might feel better about if i just blog it and move on. so, uhm, this post is going to get a little cranky and really it's just for me so i can stop thinking these things so uhm, sorry in advance to everyone who ventures forward.
firstly, for the record, when i tell you my mom is going to die and you change the subject without saying anything conciliatory at all, YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE. you aren't even someone i want to say hello to anymore. i call that inhuman. (this clause only applies to people who used to be my girlfriend. i have no standards for the awkwardness that this news causes, unless you are someone who used say they loved me in which case you are required to at least look a little sad when i say my mom's cancer is terminal.**)
secondly, when i drive five hours to visit my mom who is dying and you won't take a half hour trip to see me because you'll have to drive on the highway and it's scary...and then demand my apology for being callous about your feelings, well FUCK YOU.
it's so much worse than just breaking my heart because i feel stupid and used. but mostly stupid and wow do i hate you for that. i know you don't read this, and i know that jillian does. but i hope it doesn't get back to you because you won't understand. you won't be able to take in how much you hurt me because if you could, if you could account for the feelings of others, you wouldn't have been such a total bitch.

*someone thought they were evil. someone who happily shopped at old navy because they did not realize they are owned by the same folks. i enjoyed that irony more than a nice person would.

**matt makes a point of asking after my mom everytime i mention calling or visiting home. i can't remember annie ever asking about my mom. ever. as in not one single time. the difference being that matt has the capacity to think about people that aren't himself and also appears to have emotions.

so this morning i opened my door and it's all white, and i thought it was april. silly me. the car was very cold, and also there was snow in it. which i didn't understand at all until i realized i left the back window open (because it was gorgeous beyond measure yesterday, i suppose i should be glad i didn't leave the roof off). it was quite a shock, the snow, and i totally forgot my breakfast on the counter which i am irrationally upset about. my bagel...all buttery and alone...the humanity.
i spent my evening yesterday dying my hair and making gingerbread and speaking to everyone i ever met on the phone. and it was the best. i totally missed amymas which sucks, she left a message saying she can't do our vaca thing in may which is cool because then i can use my long weekend to visit maryland and we can take our road trip later. sarah and i talked about boys, it was the pre-teen conversation we never got to have. poor sarah has spent most of her adult life fending off sweet unnattractive young men and offered much wisdom. mimi called to tell me about a cool movie coming out soon "my summer of love" which seems like a british version of the incredible true adventures and as such should be very adorable. holly called to hear about the party and declared that grace is not a true member of my family because she didn't eat her cake. true though that is, she does have a propensity to growl which is totally genetic and therefor her identity is not in question. and matt called to make plans for this week and i told him to call me today. i can't deal with all that stimulae in one day let alone add the stress of making plans with a boy. i'm only flesh and blood.
speaking of the weakness of the flesh, i bought hair dye yesterday solely because it was on sale and i was in it's magnetic radius. chilled plum. when i showed mary the box and she looked at the color shade thing she said "what's the difference?" and i said "about five bucks" and sadly i was right. the bathtub is chilled plum, two towels are chilled plum, my hands and a few tiny spots on chairman meow (i swear it wasn't on purpose) are chilled plum, but my hair is still pretty much brown. this is the result of being rash. holly suggested i ask matt what he thinks of my hair (without supplying the details) and then burst into tears because he didn't notice. i'm pretty sure she was kidding.

it is snowing.

i didn't forget my cell phone at the bank on friday. i thought i did. i told everyone i did. my mom, my dad, my sister, amymas. but no. I AM A LIAR. because actually i just lost it in my car. my two seat tiny ass car. arghhhh. arrrggghhh again because i feel particularly stupid and upset because i missed amymas' phone call and because i couldn't call for a late thai dinner last night because i had neither phone nor number handy. it's a harsh world.
so uhm, lots of fun this weekend. meme lives in a bachelor pad, my nephew is spoiled, mom shocked the catholic relations and grace slept through the present section of her party. i fell asleep during the godfather (to no one's surprise) the new couch is very comfy and so much better than the floor at my parents house.
one day last week on the way to school, reid asked emily what a bachelor pad is. emily, having no idea where he could have heard that phrase, said "well, it's when a man lives on his own and he can be really messy and play loud music and stuff" and then reid said "so meme lives in a bachelor pad?" yes babe, meme is the bachelorette!
the other reid news is that his teacher (incidentally my sister's co-worker) thinks reid is spoiled. not in the gimme gimme gimme way. in the way that he is from an upper middle class family with plenty of time and money to care for his every need. as compared to 98% of his classmates who come from mostly poorer immigrant homes in urban lowell massachusetts. his best friend* is the only male child of an iranian family which makes them equals in the spoiled by care department. next year reid will be going to the upper middle class first grade the rest of his neighborhood goes to, for the purpose of making friends in the community. it's sad that he'll miss the diversity but it won't be any good to be that priviledged white kid either.
a whole lot of family came down for the birthday, my mom's side and my dad's side, which was awesome. my mom came down and rolled around in her wheelchair for about 5 hours(first time since february 2). actually, meme was wheeling her around and it was more than a little scary. my dad's sister in law, who was forced to convert from greek orthodox to marry into my catholic family, told my mom they were all praying for her. to which my mom said "why". it's hard to know if she was being morbid or anti-catholic, but it was not what my aunt expected and was rather entertaining.
lastly, the party was great. my sister did not freak out any more than necessary. reid spent the day in the yard with a styrofoam airplane and my cousin from the coast guard(hard to know who enjoyed the plane more). grace did not cry, even though it was her party and she could have, if she had wanted to. and my dad spent the greater part of the day asking her if she was "ready to rock?" while wearing his world's best grampy t-shirt. and then sunday he gave me girl scout cookies. he should be canonized.

*the child who is deathly allergic to bees and with whom reid was playing with their new friend "waspy" to the aneurism inducing fright of the teacher who promptly stepped on it.

(dick, as grace was asleep when the presents were opened the piggy card was not at all chewed, fyi)

did i mention he also rid my house of a very large arachnid without saying "ugh, it's just a spider". i love that. that is practically a marriage-able quality (she says jokingly in a discernably jokey manner). but really, i could get used to the doing my bidding without complaint thing. power trip, i guess. i am a god who can banish species with my magical powers. or maybe i uttered an ungodly scream when i saw the thing scuttle accross the floor and pointed madly until he caught it and took it outside. but hell, it's magic in my book if i don't have to think about spidy-spiders in my room.
our new person just arrived. praise all that is holy, we can take lunch again.

mary "can you give a dog the heimlich?" after one of our furry customers ate his bone too fast. no one seems to be sure if you can give a dog the heimlich. but fear not, the dog is fine and will live to enjoy many more bones. (aside, all of the dogs that come in are trained to sit patiently in front of mary's desk and wait for their bones. it's like her private dog fan club.)
so dinner was good, he said he knew better than to complain (which really, is a step up for me). we watched cold mountain and i learned that mr. matchmaker is coming in today with the express purpose to tease me. poor bastard, has no idea what he's in for. matt suggested "what an insensitive bastard you set me up with" but i think we're going to go with the diamonds are forever website and see if we can scratch together some bridal magazines. hehehe.

my favorite pen is a spazz. you know that spring in the end of the pen. it keeps, like, loosing it's cool and springing the pen into pieces. it's rather alarming. and it's my favorite one too. pink. and it says amy on it. and it's being all sporadic. bummer.

since i discovered that i can speak to holly free and without minutes, we've been talking alot lately. and it's the best. i love me some holly. when we're on the phone she always asks "how is the kitty?" and i always say "furry" and she laughs every time because she loves me and she doesn't mind when i'm repetitive and insane. i was making lemonade when she called and she was very surprised(matt too) that i meant actually squeezing lemons and such. that is how one makes lemonade. she said the same thing when i made her whipped cream from actual cream. it's rather unflattering that she's surprised when i show domestic skills. i took elective home-ec. i'm that hardcore.
which is good because matt is coming over and i said i'd cook. i've been trying to think of things that won't make it look like i'm trying too hard (irony, shmirony) and aren't obviously meatless. which probably means pasta. or maybe those quesadillas. sarah?

ten favorite quotes from the movies...from http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/tarchives/2004_10.ph

1. "mac, we're not bad people. we're just underachievers making up for lost time."
2. "so you're like the underground homo railroad."
3. "More isn't always better, Linus. Sometimes it's just more.
4. "you got in to harvard law?" "what! like it's hard?"
5. "it looks just like skinny and sweet, except for the little skull and cross bones on the label."
6. "stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's bad for your complexion"
7. "Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the clear blue water.....BAM! A FUCKIN' BULLET RIPS OFF PART OF YOUR HEAD! YOUR BRAINS ARE LAYING ON THE GROUND IN LITTLE BLOODY PIECES. Now, I ax ya. Would you give a flip what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?"
8. "Taylor's boyfriend broke up with him from Hawaii, Howie went home with Marshall... again, Cole slept with Benji's quasi-boyfriend, and my sister ends the evening with a plea for my sperm. It's like one big gay soap opera! I keep waiting for Sue Ellen to wander into my living room and tell me that she's secretly bought controlling interest in my oil company!"
9. "You don't think I know what you're doin', do you? Goin' to the banker lady's house for popcorn and pillow talk. Goin' huntin'. What did you do tonight? Did you go someplace nice for dinner? Did you have a few drinks? Hmm? You don't think I'd like to get out some night or have a nice meal? Spend one night not thinkin' about the girls? You know what I did tonight? I'll tell you what I did. I spent it right here tryin' to figure out if slip-stitchin' or bastin' is the best way to put on a sparkly heart. Because you know what? I don't know how. The pageant judges are gonna be here tomorrow. Madison's not gotten all the way through her song. The numbers are all over the place. Nobody can keep the beat. And I'm scared to death that Jency is gonna drop her fire baton and fry like one of them Buddhist monks."
10. "I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically."

mr. shy is the nicest boy ever. fyi. we had a very good time and talked about lots of stuff and things are very positive at the moment. highlights include "you're only going to one store. i uhh i don't know what to do, i've never experienced a girl who could go to the mall and only go in one store." (there are two factors here, for those of you who know me as a shopping maven. 1. there are only a handfull of stores worth going in at the bangor mall. 2. i'm broke and i'm trying to make an effort not to be stupid). "that was the best burn out i've ever seen" although really he has no idea how much better the driving thing is. it's worse when i have an audience. (holly noted that i say "woohoo" every time there is a squealing of tires, jerking of any kind, and she seemed to think it was hilarious. fortunately.)
he took it all very well, and apparently he did pick up on the many hints (wimp wimp wimp) so it's all good for the moment. (sappiness ahead!) he said he felt lucky just to know me and if it turned out we'd just be friends that would be ok. awww. i definitely think i can talk him into teaching me to shoot stuff now. score!
in other news, i got grace the cutest little dress and a tiny jean jacket . only the one i got has girly embroidery on it and they don't have a picture of it. and if my sister hates it, there's a gift receipt. it's all good. we had a bit of a discussion on whether or not you get a one year old a birthday card. is it for the baby, no, it's for the parents really. the baby doesn't care. but we picked out a cute one, a big piggy face with googly eyes. which, if i was one, i would totally love and probably chew on in my adoration so i'm sure it's the right choice. the next question though, how do i wrap it? should i just wrap the box so you can open it really easily (pop the top off) or do i wrap it as normal so she rip the hell out of it(do they make babies try to open their own presents??? anyone?). gripping stuff, isn't it?

my ear is broken and everyone has to know. thank you. god bless.

mary and i got the stats on our new bonus program. and it is sad. the possible outcome is not worth the work required, and is also rather nebulous. so mary and i have been thinking of ways to create our own rewards: tip jars on the counters, collecting recycling from our customers, selling our subway stamps on the street, "oh your drawer is over...put that extra right here", saving our spare change in a piggy bank, taking bank classes for free and selling the books on ebay. we're still working on it. you'd think they'd want to be more careful dealing with the people who handle so much cash.

totally and completely stolen from mare. instead of doing my bank class.

1. Post the names of 20 musicians. or 15, whatever.
2. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
3. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the song.

keith urban-you'll think of me
throwing muses-snakeface
melissa ferrick-north carolina
ani difranco
liz phair
jello biafra
kelly clarkson (laughs maniacally) breakaway
dave matthews band-two step
cowboy junkies-common disaster
the nields
jeff buckley-everybody here wants you.
catie curtis-heroes
luscious jackson-naked eye
aerosmith-dream on
elvis

tonight i am going to bangor, to babygap. where i will procure some ridiculously unnecessary and heartwrenchingly adorable garments for my niece. they have tiny jean jackets. how ridiculous would that be? too cute. i've arranged for mr. shy to come with me. does he like me enough to suffer the indignities of babygap? we'll see.
as there isn't much going on today (and the tellers were much overjoyed) has anyone heard about this not using red ink on school papers because it's too stressful? it's not the bomb threats, or the drug dogs, or the bullying in schools that stresses out the students, it's the red ink on papers. ********* on a crutch.

edited to add funny ass comments for posterity:
You added too many stars to properly represent the name of our Lord and Savior.

Blasphemer.
sarah | 04.05.05 - 9:55 am | #

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i'm catholic, what do i know?
amy | Homepage | 04.05.05 - 10:17 am | #

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Do you miss the pope?
sarah | 04.05.05 - 10:20 am | #

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uhm, is that a rhetorical question?
amy | Homepage | 04.05.05 - 10:22 am | #

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you mentioned you were catholic so i decided to score points for inappropriateness and mention the pope. 'cause he's dead.
sarah | 04.05.05 - 10:27 am | #

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which would be the very definition of rhetorical. i'm not sad he is dead. he was a bad man. i did not like him. hmm, condoms...thousands of dead people...hmmm....hard choice...hmmm. bastard.
amy | Homepage | 04.05.05 - 10:36 am | #

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red is the color of the devil.
sarah | 04.05.05 - 10:44 am | #

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whores too!
amy | Homepage | 04.05.05 - 10:56 am | #

my friend,union bear, sits in my living room. alone. i can't find confederate bear. every time i walk through the living room i want to say "where is rebel bear? what have you done with him? the war is over, dammit!" but that would be silly.

that post got a little out of hand. we had, like, customers. and they wanted to do, like, banking. and i got all distracted. one woman wanted us to reverse a payment she made to her old car because she bought a new one. (WHAT THE FUCK?) uhm, NO, i can't reverse a totally legal and lawfully made charge to your account. even if it was fraudulent, it takes a wee bit of work and research to make the charge go away. ARGH!!! that was first thing this morning so i started my day off as a pirate (and when i said this to mary she said she's going to finish her day as a bar wench...and then she remembered she has a class this evening and she was all upset that she won't get to be a wench today. sometimes life is hard). and then some folks from some department at the m.o. called and whoa, are they ever INSANE. someone was supposed to call me back about something on friday. and they never did. so something didn't get done (not at all a life ending type thing, just a simple paperwork thing). and today when i said "oh well, she never called to tell me what she wanted so i didn't do it" (yes, it's lame, but true) they said "she did call and you put her on hold" uhm yeah because i was WORKING. and she never called back. and they're all mad at us. mary suggested i tell her she was being childish to not call back, but i think probably i'll just be mean about her on the internet and gossip on the tellerline. oops, done that allready.
so that's why the last post sucks, and that's also why this one is so whiny. peace out.

it was a very long weekend, even with the hour ahead business. i think it must have been the rain. or maybe the copious bank classwork i was trying to finish. i taught shy matt all about text messaging and he taught me what the kickboard of a staircase is.
mr. shy and i did hang out on friday night, and i like him much more than previously but he's a little too attached for two whole "dates"*. you know all that crap on tv about boys being all non-committal and how the girls are all scheming to ensnare them. so not reality. who knew? he did say "you seem different from other girls" and before i could stop myself i said "that's for (expletive) sure." maybe i should have explained some stuff after that. but maybe i'll invite him over again this week for a chat. we'll see.


*i can't bring myself to call them real dates, probably not a good sign.

remember the time i dropped the entire contents of my cash drawer? I DO.
welcome back mary!!!

oh my holy god. someone from brussels googled laura faris. HI EMILY MILLER!!!

things to blog about today: stalactites in my freezer, help! my shark is rabid, what is the definition of deal, and a further installment of why one does not take what i write literally. maybe that should be my banner title.

first with the stalactites, or maybe it's stalagmites. whichever one riseth from the floor of caves. that's what i made totally on accident in my newly filled, partially frozen ice tray last night and it was the coolest! i just wanted to share that because it really made me happy.

so, remember the shark! (roar!!!*). it worked so well, and sucked so much dirt, and thus filled my heart with joy and light. it totally stopped sucking this weekend. i've been rather unenthusiastic about cleaning lately so i wasn't all over figuring out the problem. i've just been amusing myself by pretending it's rabid and man eating. better to leave it alone then, eh? but then last night, with the cleaning and all, i took apart mr. shark and lo and behold, his shark jaw parts were totally clogged with virtual rabid foam. or, cat furr. it's a white cat. use your imaginations. anyway, that is why i spent an hour attacking the foam with tweezers thus redeeming the awesome sucking power. (and per the lesson learned...30 helens would agree that you can't spend too much money on a good vacuum cleaner if that show was still on the air)

dick asked me last night what "deal" means exactly and i couldn't really answer. and so i ask sarah for her input. it's a very versatile phrase. "stuff it in your deal" which i think could be any orifice really "what's her deal?" is more like...why is she being such a biatch? or "i left my thing in the deal" (and if you didn't know that that phrase is a catchall for all the things laura couldn't immediately name that last one is pretty disturbing) which probably means i left my coat in the car. sarah, any more light on this subject.

when i said we were going to cover some ground a few posts back, i did not mean that i'm going to do a power point presentation on the requirements to be my friend. i'm not actually that much of an asshole. (of course the power point is available for those interested) i was thinking more along the lines of not taking down my butchies poster. i am not going to play straight any more than i have to. playing straight is a full time job. i do it all day. at work: switching pronouns and pretending that getting married and making babies (such as the adorable one named grace pictured on my station) is a normal and expectable future for me. in the grocery store if i buy something that looks like a baking/cooking extravaganza i get "your boyfriend's a lucky man" or worse "who's this man you're trying to impress" (i really hate this woman in particular). at the car wash "your boyfriend should be doing that for you". while most of these are innocent and kindly meant, it's annoying and wearying because it is not reasonable for me to say "well gee, i don't have a boyfriend and usually i only date women but i've been moving toward a more bisexual stance lately so maybe one day there will be a man washing my car but for now can you make that a deluxe wash please?". it is not reasonable to do anything but smile and go on with my day. i do however think it is reasonable for someone who wants to spend time with me to have an honest look at who i am. i think i owe this to myself as much as anyone i'm hanging out with. i take no pleasure in being with someone with a running dialogue of "i wonder how much they'd hate me if they only knew this". i'm over worrying about what people think of me, or who i choose to date.
i realize that no one, except for maybe sarah, who isn't queer can have any idea what it's like to have none of your casual acquaintance know you. no one here, except for matt, annie and "jason" know who i really am. there are reasons for this beyond my privacy. i could be fired for it in the state of maine (that is not my company's policy, luckily) and it would be legit (but there is a new bill). it is also a small town, and while i don't expect violence i also don't need the attention. if i choose to let someone in, i choose to give up the pre-tense. i'm not going to pretend that all of my adult life and a large part of who i consider myself to be doesn't exist to keep anyone's friendship. i've done it. it was called highschool.
so uhm, the theoretical line in the sand is not hiding the pictures of amymas in drag because it might look "gay", she's one of my favorite people and i'm proud to know her. ditto shannon. ditto my butchies poster and the rainbow nuns. ditto the rainbow on my fridge and the human rights campaign symbol on my door. i've done the hiding who i am thing, and it's SO not worth it. i'd rather spend my evenings drawing on my own than in the company of someone who thinks my choices are wrong or inferior.

*i do know sharks don't go roar!!! but don't you think they would if they could. and besides, vacuums totally go ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRR so it's all good.

we have been busy like you would not believe. we broke a bunch of bank machinery. we fixed some stuff we did wrong the last time mercy was here. and we had a kickass time taping together a bunch of checks we accidentally ripped up. are we not professionals? and also, it is effing hot (and just for sarah because mare isn't here "it's hot as balls in witches ((or witch's, or witchs')) hollow.") in the bank. yesterday mary ran around waving her arms saying "i'm having flashes, i swear it's not the change". i love her.

bliggety blog. it is a very beautiful day in town. mr. shy called last night and we have a sort of plan for friday. he's really very nice, except for when he said something about something being gay. hmm, err, hmm. well, we'll cover some ground, and some ground rules on friday and see if we can still be friends then. i wonder if he'd teach me how to shoot stuff (not live things, like cans maybe, i dunno). i totally know how screwed up that sounds, but i'm intrigued none-the-less. maybe that should be filed under ridiculous and possibly psychotic guilty pleasure.
in other news, you know it's summer in bar harbor when the jamaican staff of every inn in town walk down the street with their groceries. can't decide if we'll be opening all of their accounts this friday, or next friday. but the onslaught cometh.

i have four kinds of pink glittery lip covering type stuff in my paper clip drawer. four. all different. and yet the same. four. i'm astounded really. i also found my letter opener. which is ironic because today mary and i asked dennis to send us some from his part of the bank. you truly only find something when you replace it. i have repotted my rose in the ugliest ceramic pot known to man. it's not even ugly enough to be sort of cool in it's ugliness. it's ugly that thinks it's attractive. but no. really it's just ugly. and it's only on my station because it was free and mary "liberated" it from the common storage room.
i think i have finally seen to all the little notes that i've been leaving for myself. and i have "RENT" drawn on my hand so hopefully i won't forget to like, pay it, for this month. that would suck.

miss slightly damaged car and i have struck a deal, which keeps us both out of the sheriff's office and hopefully on relatively good terms. dennis helped mary and i fill out our 401k crap, and pointed me to all the non-halliburton and socially responsible stocks which was very nice of him to think of. mary chose the halliburton stocks, because she said they'll do really well for the next four years and she wants to be able to afford cigarrettes when she retires. funny.
blogger being down really cramps my style. i've felt all unfulfilled today. such is my dedication. i almost, god help me, blogged in word...to convert later. but that my friends, is not my style. what with the spell check and the grammar check and the editing. eff that. i don't do editing. (which is sadly apparent, is it not?)
i should report that i changed my own windshield wiper blade, and without inconsolable weeping per the norm. i'm so butch. i also fixed my voicemail. so now i can receive messages, and listen to them and stuff. these two victories combined make me feel all telephone box/spandex outfit with cape type capable.

mr. shy is a hunting, ice-fishing, apartment above garage building sort of guy. i.e., a genuine mainer. 'cept he's from massachusetts. (actually he had some interesting words about the salem jail sarah, and screaming from the "nuthouse".) the set up was apparently all kevin's (the customer) idea, which says that he probably thinks i'm nice and doesn't know me very well. you know, most people who don't know me well think i'm nice. and probably conservative (which, HUH? i don't get at all but probably it's not all that irrational from the outside perspective).
so while he was very nice and polite. i don't think it's a match. he did say i'm good company, which ofcourse we know is true, so his taste is unerring. that's a plus

mary is out sick today. so far: i think i drank rotten milk, i broke my shoe (and fixed it!), broke a nail, the atm is dead and the man holes are starting to spurt out water. who has time to be nervous?

mary keeps confusing this one customer's name and has been calling him dr. goldmember all day and i'm dying. fyi.

why does my mother call and ask me what i'm wearing? it's sort of creepy. if she touches that j jill catalogue it's all over. the news is that my evil sister is coming home on the 25th. which is good for my mom. it's less good if she wants like, money, for like, her car. err. maybe i won't be able to go home. maybe there'll be a nice snowstorm at the end of april.

i learned how to take the roof off the car this weekend. and i must admit i rather like it. i also cleaned the hell out of it. inside and out. sadly now i can see some of the scratches my dad warned me about, but that's what auto care centers are for. this evening i'm going to purchase some of that colored car polish and perhaps some armorall. can't have too much armorall.
i did call mr. shy, as i am in no position to decline the offer of something to do. i interrupted him driving a back hoe, smoothing out his driveway. when someone says "building a house" i think "house builders are building a house for you" but no, not here. here it means nailing things together that will become a house. and using a backhoe on what will be one's driveway. we're having lunch tomorrow. if chris is here. speaking of that did i mention our new employee is starting in april. someone up there likes us.

and dick, i'm sorry to hear about your fall and i hope you're feeling better.

i keep trying to do a real post but we're so busy with the busy-ness and the extra busy on the side. with every new thing that happens mary says "that's another drink". and she's totally cracking me up.
the thing with the guy is weird. mary and the guy who gave me the note were talking to eachother about matt* and i felt as much like a pawn in the matchmaking scheme as i ever have. apparently he has a lot of land near bangor and is building a house there. it was exactly the conversation that might be in pride and prejudice "5000 a year, mhmm, and he danced every dance with jane and no one else would do!" but maybe that isn't fair.

these facts which we hold to be self-evident are that i have nothing to do and no reason at all not to call this guy. so, if i do that i'll totally blog about it.

i could blog about the idiocy olympics i performed in on thursday. highlights being "does the car have a sun-roof? well, not really, but sortof" "that should be a yes or no question amy" "uhh, then no". and then i closed my own hand in the door of the car. and ran around the maine mall parking lot screaming. although the swelling and the purpleness was sort of cool.

*mr. shy with the land.

it's been a very big day. we got audited. which went very well. i screwed up a cd, but only a little. something totally unexpected happened with that girl. and a customer just gave me the number (and life history with financial stats) of a guy he works with who wanted him to find out if i'm single. very big day indeed.

if you closed your account and opened one at a new bank because you said the account was compromised when your checks didn't come fast enough why why why why must you keep coming back to my bank to make change and buy money orders? why why why? you went elsewhere. and we were glad inside. glad i say. why do you keep coming back? why?

please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers. please stop licking your fingers.

i'm going to borrow from mare (by the way that song is on that cd so i'll burn it for you this weekend), 10 songs/memories. if indeed i can think of ten.

1. i'd like to be a cowgirl, but oooh i'm scared of cows (mooo mooo mooo how they scare me)-dr. gottfried in american landscapes saying it was her answering machine message (the only link i could find was for the olsen twins and we're so not going there.)
2. untouchable face, ani-my sister singing the fuck you part with vehemence while she was teaching me how to drive
3. you'll think of me, keith urban(aka the cat song)-this one makes me think of dennis because he always accuses me of not liking country music, but i like this one. with the cat. it's funny.
4. supermodel, jill sobule-makes me think of danielle and how she sang this as loud as she could at our senior picnic in highschool (and the dumb shits thought they were mocking her)
5. (that song the shriner girls above us played everynight)-reminds of when the shriner girls above us used to play it all the time.
6. any christian themed song-makes me think of sarah singing "i love you jesus. you are my savior" in guar voice with head-banging
7. closer, nine in nails-makes me think of kirsten and how her mom loved this song and made her go to a concert when she was 16
8. dream on, aerosmith-reminds me of driving amym's car and i couldn't work the fancy stereo (i kept trying to listen to this song and i guess i was hitting seek and it would only play for 8 seconds, dratted technology)
9. almost, mercy creek-reminds me of killer vacation in frederick
10. I'll be, Edwin McCain-holly screaming "angry on the tin roof" in the car driving to highschool

mary and i are busy busy today. shocker.

the depository bank is sending a check to my bank, for my account. mary and i aren't sure if that means they'll debit her account* or if they'll eat it because their teller made the mistake**.
*if they debit her account, then she'll know sooner or later that i caught her and she no longer has my money. any number of things can happen at this point. she can say whoops, my bad, i'll just forget it now. she can come after me for the money and i can tell her to eat it and or stuff it in her deal. she can go to her insurance company and they can fix it and put up her premium. she could go to the police, which i'd love because there's all kinds of proof i acted in good faith and she broke the law. and i guess she could go to small claims court but i point to the latter with the good faith thing.
**if they eat it because the teller shouldn't have allowed that deposit, she might never know about it. but this is unlikely. that's rather alot of money to eat, even if it was the teller's fault. but it's hard to know how another bank would handle it.

mary and i have decided it's quite the learning experience all around. and we're fascinated to find out how the other bank will handle it. i guess we'll find out if i get a call from that girl, or if a baseball bat has a run in with the honda.

i don't actually have an update, but i'm going crazy with the having conversations in my head. mostly now it's "you hit my car" vs. "you committed a documented act of fraud". i was a little concerned that maybe she would try to sue me over the car thing...but i know for a fact that she broke the law so i'm sure we can come to an agreement. where in since she doesn't seem to care about her car getting fixed, i shouldn't care about paying for it.

the auto repair place doesn't recall her check. that means that another bank in town deposited a check written to a corp to a personal account. which we all know is ILLEGAL. for just this reason. the auto lady is pissed because she's being defrauded. i'm pissed because i'm being defrauded. i can't wait to call the other bank. course i guess she can sue me. we'll come to that when we come to that.

"everyone's so nice here, i don't get it" holly cannot deal with the friendliness after boston and philly. at the olive garden our waitress was so nice i thought holly was going to take her home in her pocket. she gave us extra andes mints with the bill and holly said "she's a professional. one way to guarantee a good tip from girls is to give them chocolates". there were a pair of orono boys sitting behind us, one of which was chatting (well, probably ranting more than chatting) about his ex just like we do and it was hilarious (although now we're like "do we sound like that?" which ofcourse we do but we don't have to admit it). "and she got fired from claire's and she like didn't understand and i wasn't gonna explain it to her so she was just pissed off for weeks" and on and on.
and today mary and i discovered that the girl i gave that check to for the company deposited it to her personal account and we're trying to figure out if i can get my money back. seeing as she has now broken the law. we'll see.

so, there's this sign in ellsworth that says drag show. and i'm thinking they must mean cars. but, no. it's for the downeast aids network, so it must mean queens! which is way better than cars. anyone (well, matt really) want to go?

tonight, holly and i are going to do all the ridiculous and indulgent things we filled our youths with. after i stop and make an appt. to get a new liscense. mary said i might have to take a test again. but my record is so shiny and clean *sparkle sparkle* (i hope we really like portland so i won't have to do this again). so, indulgency will be had, in bangor. where else? we will go to target (while i did just go to target, one feels compelled not to oooh at the tiny shoes or check out the clearance bras with a mr. nice marine tire guy, we stuck to the shopping list, mostly) and tj maxx and the olive garden (while frederick and nashua are awash with italian eateries, downeast maine not so much). and then we will watch bridget jones diary and paint our toe nails and i'll highlight holly's hair.

the previous post was supposed to help me sort out my brain, what with the handy dandy list feature. but it didn't really. i'm finally changing my residency because car insurance is a hell of a lot cheaper here than in NH. atleast where my parents live, it's a lot cheaper to do it here. so i have to do the whole she-bang. which isn't really a big deal, it'll cost just about the same to do it here as in NH and the insurance is like four hundred dollars less a year. my father couldn't believe it. really, i was expecting to hear a crash to the floor.

car:
have insurance worked out and it won't completely break me. i think.
am going to register it in maine and get a maine driver's license. i think.
really shouldn't waste money on vanity plates...really want to waste money on vanity plates.

grace:
can't believe she's going to be a year old.
we bought her the cutest bathing suit ever.
is a wieback toast thief.

reid:
weedlike with the growing also.
asked me if i was going to have a baby soon and then told emily she was lucky to have 2 babies and we all went awwww.

jeff:
(background: grace is in a picture display at his store)
some girls said "that baby's not cute" and jeff said "hey, that's my baby" and they didn't believe it until he got out his wallet.

mom:
much better and very little coughing. actually got up a few times this week.

dad:
freaking the hell out about the car registration and insurance changes so i'm trying to get it sorted out today.

date:
was good. ex-marine. very funny. takes care of his nieces some afternoons, has disney princesses all over his car. have tentative plans for next time i come home. apparently is sacrilege that i haven't seen the godfather. accompanied me to target to do my father's shopping, there's no bonding like target bonding. major selling point: when i said i don't really drink, he did not say "i'll take care of that". i hate that. also, did not appear painfully hungover despite party on previous night, good sign.

i'm sure i did more stuff. i guess laundry. oooh oooh i got my paint your own pottery bowl and it's so pretty i walked around my house saying "daddy isn't my bowl pretty?" for a few hours. not that he seemed to mind.

holly is at home, lounging and possibly going for a bike ride in the park because it is beautiful beyond measure today. we made a few stops last night in ellsworth and augusta and holly said the people are so nice she felt like she was in a different country. true.

any ideas for the vanity plates?

very busy amy. trying to find car insurance. mom is good. date was good. holly is very good and kitty is happy. more later.

i got an offer for the car last night. at mr. quicks! the oil change guys (the exact same guys from the great headlight debacle) were in awe of mr. honda. one of them asked me if i had the roof cut. and before i could say "huh" mr. in charge oil guy said "no, it's a del sol" with the intonation one might use for a greek god or a hemi. they asked me questions i didn't understand and were very excited about servicing him. when he was ready to go, mr. in charge oil guy and i had a lengthy discussion about the power of a honda 4 cylinder (the beauty of talking about cars to a besotted car guy is all you have to do is nod your head and say "oh yes, like a rocket" or whatever he was saying). "oh and the mileage...where did you find it?" "uhm...my driveway" "it's amazing, how much did you pay for it" "2000" "wow, i'll give you four for it right now". i left with the assurance that if i ever want to sell it, to come on down.
and really it made my day because while we were leaving work we noticed that mr. saab with the black paint still has black paint (although it looks like quite a bit of it rubbed off) but the check was cashed (yes, i am the stupidest person on earth for this whole incident, but no i did not make the check to her). so i'm trying to tell myself that maybe they wanted to make sure the check was good before doing the work but mostly i want to invest in a crowbar and get my money's worth one way or another.

just a quick note for the moment, a few things from statcounter:

1. hello bar harbor acadia restaurant googler. it's closed now, becoming an art gallery or something. i'm sorry for your loss.
2. elvisngrcelnd from someone in bar harbor, how the eff did you find that handle to google?
3. and elvisngraceland.blogspot.com from georgia. since you have the url memorized you really don't have to put it in a search engine.

the computers have been down, and it is no fun. but we are happy to say that one of the people was awesome and they're going to offer her the job. the personnel lady said the candidate reminded her of me. i hope that's a good thing.
in other news, i was considering blogging about the preambles to straightfest 2005 but i think i'll wait till next week. suffice to say it seems he's very funny and that has to be good right? however i'm getting alot of feedback on the breakfast thing, especially from my sister "breakfast is not a good date, breakfast is what you do after a good date". i don't necessarily agree (and damnit i'm busy!) but she's hilarious.
the goal this afternoon is to find a job i might really like to have, and then figure out where i might actually like to live. i'm sure i can figure that out in an afternoon, right? just because four years of college and 2 years of working hasn't done it for me...err...pathetic.

have i mentioned that my sister keeps telling me to come live with her. it's hard to tell whether she's serious or not. she says it every time we talk, but then she also used to say we were twins but i was cryogenically frozen for a few years accounting for the differences in our ages. so you see it's hard to know in what reality she's speaking from. i didn't really consider it until this week. i really like bar harbor. it's beautiful. and the people are nice. i don't even really mind the snow (although my patience is beginning to wear a little thin). i just don't have a community here. in two years of living here, i have made one friend (hi matt *waves*). i have had equal success meeting people in the bi-weekly jaunts home as in TWO YEARS of living here. and that is sad.
so, i'm checking the want ads in southern new hampshire. if holly knew she'd go into heart failure. it is beyond recognized evil to move home. to the place one went to highschool. evil. but, still a possibility. i'll have to think about it some more and maybe send out some resumes.

this weekend i drove an hour to return a $5 bag of hamster food after serendippitously finding the receipt on a table i cleaned. everything you need to know about me weekend can be derived from that sentence.

it snowed about 2 feet, but it's very warm out and the roads are clear. which allowed me to go to ellsworth and replace icky phone before i dropped it in a snowbank or similar. the new one is much less repulsive, has the same ringtone as the old phone (which considering is not that annoying) and best of all is free with rebate. it's kizmut.
sarah, i'm so glad you're home safe considering how much friggin snow there is. the landlords are hiring a backhoe to move all the snow. how does one hire a backhoe?