spending a week with my family has supplied a whole lot of blog fodder. some of it is macabre, but that is my family. humor is the way we deal with emotion. suffice to say we spent more time laughing than crying.

my dad "so i got a four grave plot, that can fit eight people"
me "if it's four plots, how can we fit eight people"
my dad "you can fit four caskets. four of you have to be cremated. it's gonna be first come first serve."

the plot is surrounded by a few of nashua's leading families. my dad said "that's good, we know it'll be well kept." christine said "oooh, mom will be impressed by the neighborhood." true enough she will. she will also bitch slap the two of us for losing our shit at the funeral. as in, going off on their mormon "friend". the man has no social skills. he walks into our house without knocking. he blessed my safe arrival over a hamburger when i got home (and then i hid in the bushes until he left, because deep down i'm evil). and then he argues with me next to my mother's grave. and i asked him to stop talking to me. my mom is gonna bitch slap me in the afterlife. christine had a similar experience when he was telling her how wonderful our mother was and how much they saw eye to eye. one, we've known our mother for our whole lives and you've known her for a year (read: we know how wonderful she is). and two, she doesn't believe in prosletyzing or spouting gospel 24/7. she never did. she was just too gracious of a person to tell you so to your face. christine and i have not that grace and she told him to eat it at the mercy meal. she's going to be so mad at us.

emily received a slew of condolence cards from her esl students. construction paper and markers. inscribed: "i'm sorry for your lost", "roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburgers are yummy, other lunches too", one was particularly funny: "i'm sorry you lost your mom, i hope it doesn't happen again." to which christine said "one time it's an accident, to lose her twice is just carelessness."

as emily's jeff was a pallbearer, emily had charge of both kids. so christine took charge of reid while we were in the church. reid, who has never been to church, thought it was all very interesting. especially the stand, sit, kneel of the catholic mass. she explained what the priest and the people were doing. at graveside, she explained that they had dug a hole in the ground and they were going to lower the casket into the hole. reid, who is a born engineer, was fascinated by this and rushed forward during the prayers to see how deep the hole was. while i give not a shit about the propriety of catholic prayers, it really wouldn't do to have a five yearold looking down the grave while everyone was watching and praying. so i had to hold the wily bugger while he said "i want to see how deep it is" and i would say "i'm sorry we can't do that now, you have to stay with me" which we repeated 1000 times. while my mom would care not, loving her grandchildren more than anything else ever, i won't have others criticize our family or emily's mothering.

the neighbors and my mom's school, and my sister's school and every other person we ever met has been bringing food to the house. my dad's chest freezer is filled to capacity. there are 4 chicken parmesians. FOUR. we also went through 4 gallons of ice cream this week, which had nothing to do with me (cough cough). ok, maybe a little. since i couldn't contribute to eating the chicken parmesians...i helped eat down my dad's stock of ice cream. there was a watermelon roll in there too! maybe next weekend...