we've been busy, which is unprecedented because this is maine in october. so i've been a delinquent poster. i received my camera cord today. speedy speedy service at fuji film. i'm very impressed. i've already downloaded the last pictures i took with it, grace's birthday in april. my mom is in most of them, in her wheelchair and smiling. the cord issue is not the only thing that's kept me from getting these pictures off the camera. in a wheelchair, even smiling, is not how i want to remember my mother. i have memories of her walking, but i can't remember the last time i saw her walk. i remember her dancing more than walking. the woman was always dancing and singing. that is my preferred memory.
someone, i think finslippy, recently wrote about putting thoughts and voices in a jar to calm the mind. i have a fluffy white washcloth that i mentally wipe away bad memories with. it's a temporary fix but the illusion that i can wipe away the memory of my dad tipping spoonfuls of milk into my mothers mouth and replace it with her dancing and telling the waiter at the brewery that it's ok to drop glasses of water on her because she gets hot flashes anyway. she still cracks me up.