and it is a very beautiful day, full of sun-shiney goodness. we have a bonus deal going at work, whence by doing our jobs we can make money. we earned two dollars today! that's upwards of 50 cents coming my way. rock on.

dude, some one found me with "plastic underwear". i really wish i could figure that out.

i wanna hold you till i die
till we both break down and cry
i wanna hold you, till the fear in me, subsides

does anyone ever feel that way? or feel enough that way to merit writing a song about it. why why why? and why must they play it on a loop on this station? it's a human rights violation. it's just wrong.


and incidentally some 13 year old kid charred daddy bush' yacht and they're debating the punishment. if maine were texas he'd be hanging by now.

ok, yeah, so i just blogged about my blogging malaise, but i have an observation that i've been meaning to make for a long time.

it's fucking expensive to borrow money.

i called, and i was right, they want to come tomorrow. my mommy and my sister. i knew if i waited they would just show up.

so yesterday i washed every article of clothing in my house, and went grocery shopping,, all in an hour and a half. my express purpose for grocery shopping was to pick up kitty toasting bread. i did pick up some texas toast and i was so full of joy for the kitties to come as i walked to the line, and paid for my groceries. and then, the bagger guy manhandled my kitty bread. downright squished it. he is also the one who manhandles my produce but is not guilty of squeezing my cookie bag. as we can all see, i get very attached to my groceries and i don't like to see them violated. but back to the kitty bread. i did give the bagger a reproachful look, but i don't think he noticed. bastard. on the upside, i made kitties this morning and they are the best kitties so far. i did take pictures, and i will upload tonight. i also took a picture of the outside of the toaster because it makes us all so happy when we see it in the kitchen. it brightens our day. it's so much more than just a toaster.
in other news, my lavender pot has sprouted a new shoot. it's the beginning of something beautiful. i should have five sprouts by september.

i stumbled on a story today about how much walmart fucks it's employees. you know all those commercials about how great it is to work for walmart. why do you think they need commercials? if it was really great to work there, every one would know already. we wouldn't need them to tell us, we'd all be smiling with those blue vests on. so what is it they're up to now, filling in a marsh so they can build the third walmart in my town? or your town? well yeah. ofcourse they are doing that. but more importantly they're doing this .
in other great news, Bush visited wells for his earth day celebrations. he believes that his administration has put through the most important environmental legislation, ever. why, because some reports are showing that our resources are cleaner than they have been in twenty years. now it's important that we remember to give bush credit for thirty years of EPA Legislation but not to blame him for the economy because that was all clinton's fault. i love how politics work, don't you? if you're the president, you get to decide all kinds of cool stuff, like what to bomb next, who to invite to your publicly funded campaign stops, what is and is not logic. it would be great fun.
and since when do doctors get to decide who to treat. even in michigan. those tricky catholics. i can say that as my mom was a nun and she hates them too. well she would never say she hated someone, or something, but she strongly disagrees with their doctrine. she has no respect for the organization. she'll have even less when she hears about this.

some out of stater is buying up all the good restaurants. miguels has a completely new menu for twice the price, and got knows what he'll do to anthony's. not that we could ever have afforded to eat there. he's got his eye on one more place, but he won't say where. there are only three restaurants in town that we frequent...let it not be one of them. it would be too cruel.

Below is the email of a friend's friend. these particular folks were readying to come home when they were contracted out to Halliburton to guard convoys. 1. can anyone explain why the military is guarding halliburton convoys? and 2. why does our military insist on lying to their people? telling them they're coming home and then changing their mind...grrr.

"My company, the 372nd Military Police Company has been extended for possibly over 120 days past our current year deployment, suffice to say, we are all ready to come home. To give you our status, we are at 48% our usual number of soldiers, we have no officers, our mission from Bosnia doesn’t count towards our time. So while I was activated during 7 months of post 9/11, Military saying that doesn't count. What I'm asking of everyone is please, write anyone you can think of to push the issue of us coming home, congress, governors, senators, when we go to this new mission, I'm very afraid people will die, it's that dangerous. Thanks for your help everyone."

SGT Jeremy McGuire

372nd Military Police Company

this morning my house was very cold. the heat is not working. probably because it's out of propane. i should probably figure out how to get more. in the meantime i am hoping the my neighbor downstairs, who does not loot but does sing loudly to mariah carey on her radio, turns up her heat enough to keep hamster and kitty thawed out. i was also hoping for sunshine to keep the apartment warm but it's extremely windy and dreary outside so i guess there isn't much hope for solar heat. kitty slept on my stomach all night, which i guess kept her warm, and hamster was nibbling her food with no apparent problems. does anyone know how you check a propane tank?

i made yummy kitty toast for breakfast, and i learned that my fire alarm is very sensitive. but maybe that's because we were making toast right under the fire alarm. it's hard to be sure. i have to practice with the toast. it's not a perfect hello kitty, but it gets better everytime. when i get a really fab kitty toast i will take a picture and post it. i think maybe i need new bread, that isn't frozen. i think practicing with materials is part of the process.

in addition to burning my clothes and running out of heat, i also tried to cut my finger off yesterday. i'm not really sure how i did it, or what i cut it on, but i sort of cut the skin off of my knuckle. it was really gross, and today it hurts quite alot even though i put a bandaid on it. it probably only hurts because i couldn't find my sponge bob bandaids. if i had spongebob on my finger i could rest easy. sigh...

i got my kitty toaster today. kitty toast tonight, as soon as i get home.

mary did think i was very funny that i singed my shirt. i think it made her whole day.

"gee my shirt is wrinkly. i'll just put it on the heater for a few minutes."
"gee, what's that smell?"

i burned my favorite shirt today. and it's still wrinkly. it's a good thing mary has a sick sense of humor. she'll appreciate why i look like such shit.

patriots day is celebrating the anniversary of paul revere's ride. and william dawes. wasn't there some one else too. obviously i haven't researched it, it's just what mary said at work. it's only celebrated in massachusetts (obviously) and maine (because maine used to be massachusetts). so that's why i have no patriots day memories. NH doesn't give a shit about other states patriots, even if they did start the revolutionary war. i think we had a christa mcaulliffe day. i can't think of any other famous NH folk except daniel webster, oh and franklin pierce. maybe i can remember...

sarah, when you were little did you get patriots day off from school? i can't remember. mary was riotting because the bank does not count it as a holiday anymore. she says it's a new england holiday, ie the patriots. should i have known that do you think? also did you get MLK day off. i know we didn't have that holiday. NH and one other state out west didn't do it. i don't know why, but it's very new hampshire. maybe it had something to do with snow days. maybe they traded with patriots day.
we also had winter break and spring break, which they don't even do in maine. in maine folks just go south for a few weeks in february so they can see the sun again. it's amazing the difference without daylight savings. I had gotten used to driving home at 4 in the dark with the coyotes howling but now it's not dark until almost 7. talk about progress. and thankfully you can't hear the coyotes at the new house, it's not as close to acadia and i don't think they wander too far from the park. i like it here for it's remoteness but the coyotes in my driveway freaked me out.

more wet dreams courtesy of sarah.

and also i've seen my car drive by three times today. thrice. in the same color and one with NH plates. its weird.

so they're trying to reinstitute the draft. i just can't see america buying that, can anyone else? war is great and all aslong as it's abstract and really far away, but i don't see americans digging sending their sons and daughters off to war because they were drafted. every american under 26 is going to be gay starting in 2005. it'll be butches and queens everywhere. well i guess maybe not every american. i suppose some people would think dead is better than gay. some alreaday do. but anyway, it's interesting how bush doesn't think this war is like vietnam. maybe someone should read him a book and explain what vietnam was. slowly. maybe with some drawings. arghhh.

this is stolen from, oh, every other blog i've ever read, but i believe it could be a good time. i have the faith.

1: Grab a book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4, write down what it says:
"Rebus smiled again. 'Guilty.' "

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?:
my coin tray, or more specifically, the pennies in my coin tray.

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?:
oh geez, it was some introspective on christina aguilera. did you know she's from pennsylvania.

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
8:45 Am

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 8:25 am. wishful thinking

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: the side effects of come drug on the radio

7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?:
this morning, coming to work. a lovely warm breeze outside too!

8: before you came to this website, what did you look at?: pinky's blog, domestic crisis and healing feet

9: what are you wearing?: oooh, my new tiny fishnet tights, wool skirt, sweater, old glasses.

10: Did you dream last night?:
i don't think so, i don't remember

11: George Bush: a power-crazy nut case, or...
tool

12: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
uhh, that's too weird i don't know. alice, or amelia. note the a names are first to mind

13: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
something old, nathaniel, or jacob. something, like that.

14: Would you ever consider living abroad?:
absolutely. ireland or england, or scotland, or canada or well anywhere really if i had a job and a friend.

dude! a bake sale for democracy! check out one near you!

and also sarah, i am letting some bananas go over to the dark side, like castro and hillary clinton, for with to make thee little tiny heart shaped banana breads. and then you will have to be my slave because you will be so in awe of the tiny heart shaped banana treats. and it will be good.

"parking stick jousting, isn't that dangerous, aren't those things sharp?"

yes, it was probably dangerous, but didn't sarah and laura look dapper, or dashing even whilst they were jousting. or maybe it was fencing. do you need a horse to joust? i'm pretty sure we didn't have horses, but they might have used shopping carts. sarah, do you remember?
is it reasonable that i lived at hood for four years and didn't fill a photo album? do i hate myself for not taking pictures? errr, yeah.
i also found the pictures from that drag show in gettysburg when amy mas tried to pick up the straight girls. did anyone know at the time that gettysburg is a really conservative college? i had no idea. the only people i knew there were uhh the dykes so i didn't have a rounded impression. i'm so glad we didn't get beat up. remember when one of the ladies asked for family in the crowd and the only voices screaming were ours? should have been a clue. heather my dear, i think you would have enjoyed our sort of tea. mostly we went to drag shows and put on parties. i think it would have grabbed your fancy. life at hood was so much more fun when marianne and parsons were around. that's what made hood worthwhile for me. really smart, fun people who cared about things. i really hope you all didn't feel as ambivalent about us as we did about our freshmen.

it is remarkably summery in town. it was all weekend. all the little lakes and ponds are melted. im almost finished with the epic move. there are only a few things left to pack, and then to clean. fabulously i don't have to go clean tonight. i get to go shopping. actually returning. i've been doing a lot of that lately. the sub-standard toaster, the 4 dollar trash cans, and now the tv. remember how my tv started to turn pink the last weeks of senior year. the tv that was atleast 10 years old, that moved from new hampshire to maryland, and across campus dozen times. the tv that i dropped more than once. well, now the new tv is turning pink. i should have caught on when it made that "poing" noise when i plugged it in. that should have been a clue. but now i get to go buy a new tv, a magnavox atleast. and maybe not so big because that one was sort of scary.
i confirmed with amy the m that i do have guests for june. i am filled with joy. sarah, do you remember lindsay? did you ever meet lindsay? she'll be in town for the summer too. she's a good time. i'm looking forward to the summer ever so much. do you think i should get a produce subscription? how much produce do you think we could eat? we could be my mom and can things.

i have a niece. grace isabelle at 8 pounds 4 ounces. woohoo!

i heard on the radio that a little hamburger joint in frederick, MD is being sued by jimmy buffet. holyshit. i heart cheeseburgers in paradise! they had the best hot fudge milkshakes. that hurts my heart.

i just opened accounts for half of jamaica. and now i really want to say things with a jamaican accent because it's so pretty but that would be wrong. it's a good thing i don't have a maine accent because there may have been no communication possible. as it was i think they all thought i was crazy. i have this tiny tendency to talk to myself. and sometimes laugh. oddly the americans this doesn't bother. hmm.

somebody touched my boat while i was gone. my pirate ship was on the complete opposite side of my desk this morning. bastards. touching my boat.
we've been trying to rent lost in translation for weeks now. yesterday we reserved a copy, thinking since it was a tuesday it was a possibility tht one of the two copies would be there. but no. neither copy, vhs nor dvd, was in the store. it's a small town, if they'd given us the address we would have gone to fetch it. but no. we shall never see lost in translation. never.
instead we watched stand by me which annie has never seen. i didn't get to find out what she thought of it because i fell asleep. i do remember her saying that she had to see the body. i had told her you don't get to see the body, but i'd only ever seen the tv version.
mary and i are trying to talk tia into helping clean up the roadsides in the park. she doesn't believe in that sort of thing. cleaning up the environment. bitch. she's here early and i'm not sure why. it is going to be a trying day.

my computer at work kept telling me my website had innapropriate or unsafe material. what i don't get is how this happened between the morning and lunch. nothing changed. stupid technology. i was a little late to the dumb work meeting. i sort of missed the president's speech. whooopsy. but i did get to go shopping. right now i'm eating freschetta pizza off of my antique plates. this morning i had poptarts on an antique plate. my bad eating habits aside, it's really anachronistic to eat such modern food on depression glass. i can't help thinking about it. everytime i eat something i have to decide if this food was available in the 30's. poptarts and freschetta probably not. toast and spaghetti, probably. some things are more tricky, like fake meat taco's. i'm just not sure.

so i got my first 4 seasons of keeping up appearances on dvd. this was the much awaited package. it's very exciting. isn't it? i can't wait to get home and start watching them. and they're full screen so i won't be drawn in to measure the periphery of the screen. it's very good for this wintery day.

it's fucking snowing.

i am also in a state because of the snow situation. i know that i am in maine. but i do not want it to snow tomorrow. or tuesday. or again at all until november. crosses fingers.

i'm not telling. i'm being purposefully manipulative. i'm in a state. i want my package.

why it is better to choose economy shipping

i bought something the other day. at half.com. it wasn't actually half the price but it was a good price and i really needed it. but that's not the point. the point is i had a choice of regular or express shipping. i always choose regular shipping. even when i do need something in a hurry, which is rare. i deem things not worthy of coming faster for more money. it's not worth the instant gratification. but when i'm waiting for something how do i hate myself for not getting the quick delivery. i want it now. now now now. i don't want to wait. i don't care about the excitement of anticipation. i want my package NOW. dammit. but it's not here. sigh...

it's raining. and mary says it's supposed to snow tomorrow. it can't. i have too much to do. i have been making the worlds dummest mistakes at work. i think because i'm thinking about moving and all the things i have to do all the time. it would be really bad if i got fired for incompetence just now. but i'd get unemployment. in other words i absolutely have to get things taken care of this weekend.