i keep having to remind myself that i do not hate being home, or home in general. i don't really. there isn't so much to hate about it. and yet i'm so unhappy here. this is just not where my life is. i feel like i'm on vacation at a very friendly hotel. it's weird. my brother comes down to see if my parents are around before he brings down his bottles. umm, they know you're an alcoholic, they live here. he's so stupid. i have to sit for reid tomorrow. i suspect he'll be in tears when his father gets home. anyway. my meme was making fun of my driving when i took her home. i hope i get to be an old person like her, just sort of doo dee doo and laughing all the time. she has no idea what's going on. she asked if i was memeknapping her because she didn't recognize the way i took her home. so sad. you know what else is sad, i realized tonight that it is not at all dark in nashua at night. i was driving down this road that i've always needed my highbeams on at 11 pm and i didn't at all. it was downright bright out. whoa dudes, that is so not cool!