mr. confederate flag/from my cold dead hand has been coming in rather often and you know, he's not that bad. he's always very kind to me and calls me ma'am. maybe he's not from maine. maybe it's because i'm whiter than the driven snow. maybe he has to buy all his clothes from an uber conservative, angsty thrift shop. maybe i should keep my opinions about my customers to myself and stop being so hostile.

and my favorite keyword is

"make your own ice luge kit"

thanks to the dear soul who searched the above and found me. that makes my day!

the consensus is that kitty has gotten too fat. she was a stray. i think she deserves some leeway(sp?). but i did give her a little less yummy chicken in gravy this morning and she meowed at me when she realized the discrepancy. life is hard. i gave her some hairball treats to compensate. i wouldn't want her to get desperate.
sarah and kitty are becoming fast friends. kitty sits on her lap every chance she gets and they chat. and per above, sarah is often to be seen petting kitty with two hands and saying "faaaaat". that's love.
so i replayed the whole job interview from yesterday and decided that i was an idiot. of course you think of a thousand things to say when it doesn't matter and is in fact too late. and probably everyone thinks they're an idiot after an interview. i just have to hope that everyone else was more idiotic than i. what a thing to hope for.
i realized also today that i have been confusing foreign travelers with my speech. not so much slang, but just unusual words. when someone asks me something at the bank, like "can i cash this?" if i can, i say "absolutely" in a dazzling and positive way. it's better than yes, it's a guarantee. but i've noticed that the german folks, and the french folks and definitely the russian folks have no idea what i'm talking about. i think they know it's a positive response, but somehow i don't think it's covered in berlitz english. i surely don't know the equivalent in spanish or french for all my years of study, so maybe i should just say "yes", and leave it at that. i enjoy the international customers more than tia or mary. tia prefers that all people speak english and look like her. mary, i think, just doesn't like to be misunderstood. i think it's nice that other people like to come here. i would like to think that while i was traveling foreign bankers would be so enthusiastic about cashing my travelers checks that they confused me totally with the dazzling and positive language.

i don't think it went very well. sigh.

awww! someone in yonkers found the blog with "Bar Harbor Romantic thing to do". and i'm always so poohy about new yorkers. now i feel guilty. i will atleast until one tries to run me over again.

the car passed, but i had to get a new tire. or rather my parents had to get me a new tire. my mom was actually upset because she thought it was too cheap. i guess she wants me to be safe or something. ooh but the best part of getting the car inspected is the new sticker. it's the very best shade of pink. my favorite shade of pink. sort of the color of the links that haven't been clicked on. i realized this when i put on the registration stickers 2 minutes before inspection and i was so happy. i love that color. love it. i thought it was a good omen, and i guess i should be glad that all it needed was one new tire. but aren't they supposed to need two at a time. isn't that something you replace in pairs? clearly, i don't know.
in other news holly and i relived our youth by shopping for hours and buying nothing. which we both decided was a good thing. and then we got ice cream. 5 dollar sundaes. five dollars. at friendly's. and people are worried about gas prices. it's the ice cream that's going sky high. and really, what's more important than ice cream?
and now we have a sarah. who is probably still sleeping. i keep thinking of things like if i told her where the towels are? i'm sure she'll figure it out. goodluck sarah!

oh man, i was just on a roll and i erased it. blah. i'm not feeling bloggy. things have been really busy at work, people want money, and travelers checks, and maine state quarters. and really folks are appaulled that we don't have a supply of our state quarter. to be fair i do have some new hampshires, and a maryland so really i'm doing my bit.
we just had a lovely woman from texas. who was everything a vacationing texan should be. she had alot of shiny jewelry, she had big hair, she was very polite and complimented the state. she appreciated today's sun and didn't yell at us because it rain yesterday. what a nice tourist. it's really hard when people yell at you because it's raining. it's not actually our fault it's raining. or foggy. or whatever.
i was conducting independant research on cars yesterday, part of a fanatical thought freight train that i won't go in to just now. maybe in a few weeks. but anyway, cars. i am remembering back to when we went to pick up kirsten's new car, a toyota corolla from the dealership. and ofcourse we all know how dealerships like to see you as much crap as possible. mud flaps, top coats, you know the thing. so the lady was trying to talk kirsten, who incidentally had no hand in buying the car except that it was under her name and having not even a drivers liscense, her car knowledge was negligible, into extra insurance. (did you follow that?) extra insurance because her car is the most stolen. did you know it costs more to insure cars that are stolen alot. i guess it makes sense, on some level. but as we amies (amy mas was there too) pointed out to her, corollas are also one of the countries most popular and abundant cars so it goes hand in hand that since there are so many corollas, just hanging around in parking lots and garages and stuff that the law of averages on their theft must be higher. right? so because i wonder all the time how it is fair that because your type of car gets stolen alot you should have to pay more, because really it's a corolla. who thinks corolla is a car you have to worry about. good gas mileage, reliable engine. it's not a sexy car. it just doesn't seem right.
anyway, so i was researching the expense of insuring cars. not surprising the geo prizm, which is just like the corolla, is not on top of the high theft lists. but saturns are. old model saturns. and another list had the bonneville on it in number 3. it just doesn't make sense. there seems no rhyme or reason.
i thought car thiefs liked bmws. aren't bmws and mercedes supposed to be stolen alot. aren't they most worthwhile to steal? i mean really, saturns and corollas. are there hordes of busy moms with ready money to buy a hot corolla? preferably with one of those retractable window shades for the back seat. do the car thugs know they'll pay extra for one of those?
i don't even know where that rant came from. but i feel lied to. people on tv don't steal a 1997 saturn sedan. the saturn sedan doesn't appear in the Viper car alarm commercials. it's just wrong.

and also i heard this while out on my lunch break "DON'T HIT ME, I'M LOCAL" as this girl tried to cross the street in front of generic asshole new yorker # 5.

my new wisdom tooth is having a growth spurt. it hurts. but it's not pressure. i was told to look out for pressure, and to report said pressure immediately. but i have decided that it is not pressure, it's just pain.
yesterday was a beautiful day, and saturday was the icky. yesterday i dried my laundry in the sun, and cleaned my whole house, and went to the camp with annie and it was so beautiful. and saturday, oh saturday was a miserable excuse for a weekend respite. it would have been exciting because i got my new bike. but i spent half an hour in a downpour struggling to put said new bike into my car. the manual is all sad and wet because i needed it to figure out how to take the wheel off. and then i spent the rest of the day in bed watching movies. and i felt better. would have been better with chocolate though...oooh chocolate.
i'm all distracted because it's lunch time. and i have to call about a job at coa.
it's an admissions counselour job. which could be cool. but she prefaced the message with the salary is very small. that's probably not a good sign, but it's definitely worth a call back.

and in addition to that. most people, say christians, don't actually take the words in the bible, or whatever book, as absolute truth. do they. i mean rational people.
tia's church rings more of cult every day.

oh my god. tia just told us that war is supposed to happen because it's in the bible. and when the day of reckoning comes there will be a flash of light and she will be gone. partying in the next world. or something to that effect. oh how i wish she was kidding.

there are a lot of people going to canada today. apparently going to canada is the shit. i want to go to canada. i think we should go to canada. although, maybe not on the cat because we might throw up. i don't want to throw up on canada, it would be disrespectful. but i think we should go. sarah, can you dig it. we could visit ontario, we could visit montreal, we probably shouldn't visit saskatchewan because it's very far.
and although the canadian dollar is not quite as bad as 2:1 it's still cheap. we should go. let's go. let's all go.

so now that's settled, i got my hair cut. the lady said she was going for meg ryan. don't panic. it is not at all meg ryan. it's just shorter and curlier. i just thought it was amusing to aim for such a goal. i mean really, would i ever walk in to a salon and ask for meg ryan hair. not that she doesn't have lovely hair. you understand. i am quite glad to have my hair cut though. it was getting wild. like crocodile hunter wild. curls shooting out the side of my head. it was a sight to behold i tell you. i'm glad it's been tamed.

so i'm officially not an employee at my part time job anymore. lasted a whole night. the feelings are mixed, i could really use the money. but a defined schedule like that just isn't possible with having to go home and being available for mommy, and having to do laundry. and so we're tightening our proverbial belts in the king's household. no reckless spending. please god, no more reckless spending. execpt in canada. when we go. to canada. it's nice there.

according to annie bats can enter through very tiny holes. i guess sort of like a mouse can get anywhere it's nose will fit. and so last night, in a fit of brilliance, i bug and bat proofed my screens. it was so simple. so obvious. i put a strip of foam tape on top of the screen. and voila! i'd like to see the moths try to get to my light now. HA!
i had a dream last night that i was working in a factory, atleast i think it was a factory. there were all these huge machines every where. and they were all humming. and the humming was getting louder and louder until really it was roaring. and we kept waiting for the machines to explode. and when i woke up kitty was sleeping on my head purring.
speaking of kitty, we've decided to call her bug. it's a versatile and meaningful name. it could mean she's a love bug, or a snuggle bug or because she sometimes bugs us. it's perfect.

so last night, very late, i woke up to kitty meowing and playing. i really didn't want to turn on the light, but i did. and she was playing with something rather larger than a june bug and very black. it didn't seem to be moving. my sleepy eyes couldn't really tell what it was, and frankly i don't like dealing with creatures or huge bugs in the dark so i told myself it was probably her cat nip toy and i went back to bed.
and this morning, oh this morning. there was a tiny and very dead bat on my floor. kitty had given up on it as a play thing and was waiting for breakfast. so i scooched it into yesterdays rice pilaf box as a coffin and tossed it into the dumpster. the real question though is how did it get in? and does he have friends.
i know bats are good, and they eat bugs, but i don't like them. not at all. i'm glad they eat the bugs but there are more bugs outside than in my house (amazingly enough) and i think the bats should stay outside. and also it's safer with no kitty to attack them.

it is freaky ass little tall island weather. yesterday was a complete nightmare and we decided it was because of the weather. t was out sick and mary and i were running non-stop. the days go by so fast when it's busy though, it was sort of refreshing.
and last night we went out on the town. annie did more shopping and we walked our tired butts around bar harbor quite a bit. and now she will know what time it is, and not be sun burned.
we've fixated on a new scheme, bikes. we think if we had bikes we'd ride them. this is debatable, but it would be nice. we also decided that we need a bike rack because it's way to scary to ride around town. the drivers are too crazy and we're too unskilled as bikers to guarantee our safety. also, as annie said this morning, i could get my bike free. the bank offers money to people who do fitness things and they might pay for it. annie is the smartest. that would suit our ambition perfectly and cost me no money.
i haven't gotten around to a bunch of things...like cleaning my house or making hair appointments or quitting my new job. i really should call them, huh? maybe at lunch time...

would it be wrong, or say obsessive, to call up millenium developement in frederick or scott gas and investigate? this tracker thing is making me a maniac.

recent keywords: in no particular order
heidi schnarr
geico commercial elvis
nido's patrick (twice)
pimps and hoes party in vegas
rainbow graduation tassles
elvis has left the building theme

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

to my lost keys

dear keys,
how i have neglected you. i am so sorry. you must feel taken for granted and abandoned. you help me every day to get me in to my car, and in to my home, and your thanks is to be lost with no hope of being found. you have a lovely hood key chain, you have my shaw's card which supplies me with valuable discounts. and you have been lost. i looked everywhere, but i could not find you. i've left you all alone, in the house, probably weeping. thinking we'll never be together again. i want you to know that i am thinking about you, and where you might be.
your ever loving owner, Amy

kitty looks very hot indeed. she hasn't done more than sprawl on the floor and pant all night. poor fuzzy thing. i put an ice cube in her water bowl and she pawed at it, but did not drink. hmm.

i was helping mr. confederate bandana and they'll get my gun when they pry it from my cold dead hand t shirt. he was leaving after giving me a very icky smile. as he was leaving one of the nicest boys ever was coming in (actually they're brothers and they're very sweet and funny and they're my favorite customers) and he caught sight of mr. c b who he was holding the door for and had the best reaction ever. he simultaneously dodged out of the guys way while having a completely appaulled expression, which thankfully mr. c b didn't see. then the nice boy told me about how he's learning a new word a day and was trying to use them all and said he want to "extricate" money from his account to spend at borders. if that did it for me he'd be my boyfriend.

oh and i've added a link. to get your war on. if it's good enough for alison bechdel, it's good enough for me. also there's a new dtwof if anyone's interested.
also i must note, which i forgot earlier, that not even amy mas would taste the lobster ice cream. they were appaulled. but then sarah's the one who would eat stuff for money, not amy. some one should try the lobster ice cream some time. someone who eats meat, or atleast fish friends.

and i almost forgot. There is water. how fabulous.

ok so, i've been distracted from the water situation by having fun and trying to make my friends comfortable. but i'm getting more and more pissed off this morning about the lack of water at my house. mostly because the landlords wife didn't seem to think it was a big deal, and because i have gotten no information since saturday. i say if you can get a plumber to come out on a weekend in february, you can get a plumber on a weekend in june. but since she probably had a shower this morning and flushed her toilet with no problem she should be starting out less cranky than me. i wonder if my neighbors have been calling alot or something to have made her so defensive. in any case, it is not my fault that the pump broke, it is their responsibility to provide water, electricity, et c. to their tenants. there better be a rent reduction for this month, there just better.

they have come and gone. we did everything a body can do in bar harbor without spending too much money. the water was out all weekend, and still is. we missed thunderhole thundering twice, we went to a brewery where amy bought beer. we ate at 2 cats twice, and fed amy real lobster. i discovered that my answering machine really is dead. we all discovered that goodbye lenin is an awesome movie and everyone should go see it (more on how cool it is to not be in a soviet block later). we showered at coa and everyone got to meet my landlord. amy and kirsten decided that everyone at coa is bi, but then that's not surprising. and tonight we go to harry potter.

oooh oooh guests are on their way. oooh ooooh i'm so excited.

note to amy mas if indeed you are coming...It is cold here. pack warm clothes, and umbrellas. it is rainy like britain here, rainy like seattle, cold like, well cold like maine. you are warned.

ok, so now that i have warned amy of the cold, and i can tell the rest of you that it is COLD here man. it has to be the coming of the next ice age, there's no other explanation. folks are still wearing their winter coats, it's wild.
there is a nice boy from alabama here learning how to lobster (with his brother who is a local, it's very confusing) and he doesn't believe us that this is unusual. he thinks we're crazy, and he's very cold.

it creeps me out when people type in "elvisngraceland.blogspot" into yahoo or google. why not just put it in your address line. it seems redundant. it also creeps me out when people from frederick link to me. why?

and i am back from home. I had a good time. i did alot of laundry, i got chairs for my dinner table, curtains, et cetera. my dad made yummy food, my mom complained about her new furniture. all was right with the world.
my niece is very small, and very strong. she was very wriggley for 7 weeks. she's also very fat, she's the fattest baby ever. so cute.
i saw a store called "jazzercise" right next to a restaurant called "low-carb heaven", there are 2 new russian food markets in my hometown, and i saw a girl i went to highschool with working in target.
it seems like i did more this weekend than i can think to write about. i did notice how much better radio is in boston than here, or maryland.