i've been hearing weird christmas special music in my head ever since christmas eve. reid must have watched every special that was on. the best one was called grandma got ran over by a reindeer. in that one there was a money grubbing grand-daughter who sings this song "grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of santa" and she's dressed like a hula girl and the back up singer is saying "no pantalones" at regular intervals. kids shows are hilarious.
reid really liked his train game and his bubble gum machine and especially the remote control dinosaur from his big sister. i bought clothes for grace and rory, little matching sweater sets with matching hats. it seems that hats are grace's favorite clothing and she wore it all night. so cute.
rory is huge and wiggly and she squeaks. and all of her clothes are pink. reid was happy to open her presents for her, but was a little bored with all the clothes and no toys.
we went shopping christmas eve and the day after christmas and there was no one else out. it was really weird. i had to get a few last minutes presents and then to check out the bargains. i got a lot of stuff 50% off. picture frames, kitchen towels, cookie mix. things i wouldn't consider christmas seasonal but what do i know. we also bought a stock pot to make huge batches of spaghetti sauce and soup. the best part is that one pot full of soup will use up a whole lot of ingredients from under the cupboard. pretty much the stuff will go from cupboard to freezer, but at least it can feel it's part of a greater whole and not just a lonely can of beans. did i mention that it's sara and i all week trapped in the bank like veal?
i had a bunch of bank things to do earlier in the week, but now there is nothing. and we are bored. it is however 50 degrees out. on dec. 29. so obviously we're in the end times and we've decided to spend most of our time shopping online. because when the world ends, and soon, who'll care how much we owe the gap? it's a beautiful plan.

the cut and dry fudge recipe* i had planned to make for my dad for christmas didn't work out so good. it's a good thing i know the folks at the liquor store because if you don't know the folks at the liquor store it's bad to call at 8:30 AM and say "i'm having a liquor emergency!". becky helped me pick a really nice blueberry wine for my dad. to go in his wine fridge. i'm very relieved. especially because it was cheap. and maine-y.
we're leaving today, instead of tomorrow, to avoid snow so next time i post there will be cute baby pictures. it's so exciting.
happy holidays all!


*the one i've made three times in the last month that all worked perfectly

so, it's boring as hell here today and i've spent the whole day looking at baby gap and carters and the old navy baby section. and also, i opened my big mouth over at the circumcision debate of 2005 over at http:betweenthelakes.com. because i am an idiot. there's this whole horrible and to some painful discussion going on about circumcision, to do it or not, to support friends that choose it or not, and on and on. so, foolishly, i related that i know someone who was circumsized at age 16 to prevent more infections and it was fucking awful (i left that part out, so as not to stir further controversy, ha) and so i just said that sometimes it's necessary. and whoa, was that stupid*. apparently it was because the doctor couldn't treat it properly so they had to cut it off (so i was told, damn). would he be a healthier individual if they'd cut it off when he was a baby? i don't know. but he wouldn't have had to explain to anyone why he was absent from school or couldn't participate in gym, which you can't blame a teenager for feeling fucked up about no matter how an adult looking back might view it.
so yeah, circumcisions. i don't know shit, i'm sure, but i had believed the practice was to protect baby boys from infection and became a religious and cultural practice from there. people make all kinds of choices for their children and i just don't see how you can call circumcision child harm. but half of them think i'm wrong...and sweet jesus, the comments. it's war over there. i really wonder if it's the stress of the season or circumcision has always been a hotbed issue and i just never knew. those people are vicious. there have to be more important things to get all upset about. there are like wars raging and children with no coats and mittens. surely there are more pressing matters.



*remember that time i said children should play with matches and lighter fluid** over at pinky's blog. it was just like that.
**except that's not what i said at all.

Oh miss sarah! thank you for the adorably wrapped christmas presents. the chairman will be so happy. she's a catnip junkie* i re-ribboned the box just so i can look at it and smile. you're the sweetest.
i have to find out exactly what size Rory needs. i want to buy every outfit i see online and that's just not rational. fortunately matt's coming with me to exchange the denim jumper, and there's no way he'll let me buy the whole department no matter how agreeable he is.

*you remember that mouse i said she ate. well, i figured i'd find it when i moved the couch and i didn't...she really did eat it...errr

i need one person who's not an idiot to want to buy my car. the latest one wants me to drive it out to new york so her mechanic can check it out.* and also, she's dismayed that such a hard to find car is often overpriced. that's what they call supply and demand.** also she wants an Si. the Vtec is the top of the line, the Si is the middle. what does the Si have that the Vtec doesn't? (insert pirate growl here)

so, fat babies. i'm planning to return the baby clothes i bought for Rory for christmas. she's not going to be in 3 month clothes for very long, so i'm going to trade up. cute fat babies. i was planning on having pictures today, but i left the disc at home so i might start off with fat baby pictures on tuesday.
nine pounds eleven ounces. god i hope she had drugs. LOTS OF THEM. i'm never doing that. if i feel the need to parent in the future i'll get a beagle and dress it up on holidays. and i won't have to pay for college. it's fool proof.
holly cooked a first dinner for her boyfriend last night and i can't wait to hear how it turns out. i was shouting a chocolate mousse recipe over the phone in the back room last night and i'm hoping it came out well. i can't stand the suspense.

*no comment needed, but i did tell her if she made a non-refundable deposit i'd drive it out to her and she could have it looked over. maybe a 1000?
**mine actually isn't over priced, it's the nada suggested price for model, mileage and condition.

it's about 11 degrees here today. brrrrr. i wish i had my mittens but they're in the other car. i might walk down to cadillac and check out their mitten selection. winter porn.
i finished the christmas baking last night, and from scratch even. i've been using matt's betty crocker and the cookie recipes have been really good. two kinds of fat. excellent. i made arrangements for mary and sara and matt's family*. they're mostly chocolate, or well all chocolate. it's a very rich and chocolatey christmas. but i figure everyone else makes shortbread or sugar or snickerdoodles so chocolate is a change. i'm anxious to hear how the magnolia bakery cupcakes pinky is making come out. they look so adorable on tv. and yummy.

*for every beautiful tray of food a pair of hands has been all over it.

it's a baby! at 9.11...natural. for the love of god. everyone's fine and my father is so excited. more later!

emily: "i feel like a beached whale"
amy: "maybe someone will come along and push you back into the ocean"
emily: "jeff is throwing wet towels over me in the meantime"

emily is being induced today. and then they're going to do a c-section. dear god, the baby is 9.5 pounds with a variance of up to 18 oz either way. apparently it can dislocate the baby's shoulders to do normal birth with such a big baby, but it sucks for emily. she says she'll be glad to have the baby born and i can't blame her.
i've been really lax in my holiday baking, as i only have one type of cookie baked. shame. i keep forgetting that christmas is this weekend. i keep asking matt what his plans are for saturday and he's like, uhm christmas? oh yeah...
i called cingular yesterday to change my text messaging plan. the lady i spoke with was in arkansas and she was full of questions about maine. particularly the weather. i was talking to her at about 3 and the sun was just setting. i don't think she believed me. however the solstice is coming. thanks be to god the days will get longer again.

i called today about teaching adult education. i called a little too late to teach this spring, but she asked me to email her about next fall. which is a long time away. but it could still be really cool and i could make so money. am i a moron to be excited about standing in front of a room of people and have to talk?

so, it's not first thing in the morning but it is pretty early. it's snowing, though only flurries. but the library isn't open on mondays so we'll try for photos tomorrow. the news of the hour is my new bed. it's very exciting. matt and his brother delivered it yesterday. nate thinks i should have bought a frame as it's on my father's tab. truly, i didn't even consider buying a frame. that's how classy i am. the mattress and box-spring on the floor is a step up. it's like having a real bedroom in a real grown-up apartment.
yesterday was very much like playing house for me. i was simmering spaghetti sauce* and baking cookies** when the menfolk arrived with the heavy stuff. except for the part when i fell in the heating vent. just the one leg so no need to worry. just a reminder that indeed, i will never be a grown-up. grown-ups don't step into huge holes and break hundred year old houses. not traditionally anyway.
the new bed is really soft, but firm. and high. eee gads with the high. matt is going to put together a temporary frame, so the vent i fell in will get some circulation and it'll be even higher. and then he's going to build me a bed. i've requested shaker style which pleased him because apparently it's very easy. so he'll have plenty of time to pray and shake and invent selling seeds in packets.*** he even has the trees he's going to cut to build the bed all planned out. he couldn't be any more maine. he just couldn't.


*when you use fresh tomatoes it seems you can't add too much sugar. i thought i added too much but i was wrong. you can't add too much.
**sarah should note that matt is ups-ing you cookies as i type so you should have them sooner than ye olde poste officee (it seems you can't add too many e's to pretend old style british spelling either!).
***genuine fact.

i received confirmation about my raise yesterday, and it's generous, so i'm putting a halt to the resume sending for the moment. if i'm offered an interview for the really great opportunity, i will take it and fret constantly about it and then over analyze my performance. at least this time i won't be buying a new answering machine to make sure i haven't missed their call. it's good for my neurosis that i don't have a land line. really.
i texted matt the details of my raise, and he worked out the yearly math. if i didn't know better that would freak me out. matt was relieved because his boss had said that he would tell everyone he knew to pull their accounts if i had to leave. i'm glad we don't have to go through all that.
i'm hoping some of the money conversations will stop now. they're not all bad, some of them are about us living together and that's not so bad. no rent! but it's no fun talking about how poor we are, any more than it is to read about it all the time. :(
in other news i've decided to make an effort to add pictures to this here blog. one, because it really is beautiful here in the winter. two, because i think this is going to be a good year to document the apocolyptic snow. and three, because i need a reason to get my ass out of the bank at lunch and walking my ass to the library to upload pictures seems as good as any.

i was awoken at the ungodly hour of almost 10:45 last night by a call for the honda. he said he just heard about it*. he was asking me about it and was really upset that it didn't have air conditioning** he also told me i'd never get what i wanted for it. until i told him i had equivalent offers out of state. and then he offered to trade for it. so he wants it, but not enough to actually pay for it. it was a little strange, but then i was asleep. he offered a 99 ford ranger as a trade. according to matt the 99 ranger is junk, so that's a no deal. maybe we'll see how high he'll go for cash. he said he's driving a red automatic with air so probably he has no idea what he's talking about.
the bulk of my evening was spent going through my closet. grace and reid are going to be getting a whole bunch of stuffed animals. and chairman meow has a new place to hide from the realty agent. i've been cleaning quite a bit lately. it helps me escape reality. in reality i sent a resume to a really great possibility in town for ten grand more than i make now. i'm trying really hard to pretend that it's not a possibility until i get a call. trying realllllly hard. when i told matt about it his eyes almost fell out of his head. it would be great. and now i'm going to get back to the classifieds and try to forget about this great opportunity until the phone rings.


*see how bad he wanted it, he called me on a weekday at 10:45...read desperation (or maybe he's just an asshole)
**firstly, you live in fucking maine. granted if you drive to rhode island in august you will feel like you are being cooked slowly like a pig with an apple in it's mouth(unless you take the top off and go route one) but mainers rarely cross the state line so that's not a big deal. secondly, and this part pisses me off just a little, a/c slows these cars down and who the fuck wants that? clearly he doesn't know shit about del sols because no one wants one with air conditioning.

i've been tryig to resurrect my patterns from when i used to blog every day. and you know what, i used to do it bright and early in the morning. before reading everyone else's blog and getting all complacent. so here i am.
i've been busy sending off resumes and worrying about my future. nothing new there. there's been no word on the raise and i really can't operate like this anymore. if i was a business i'd be closed and vacant with tumbleweeds blowing around. i am beginning to resent that i'm important one day and not the next. so, resumes.
there have been other things, not yet including birthday celebrations. things that make one ask holly on the phone at walmart "how much rectal bleeding is tooo much rectal bleeding?". and also i have to go have a physical. i haven't been taking my thyroid medication for like years, and that's probably not a good thing. so. busy.
and also, it's fucking snowing again. friday we closed early due to snow. saturday and sunday it was gorgeous. monday it snowed and today it snows again. it's wild. (i really want to type "white and wild" but i jsut don't see how it accomplishes anything other than making me laugh)
Thanks everyone for the birthday greetings. i had a really good birthday. i opened a present a day, it was just like hannukah*(atrocioius spelling). matt's mom got me kitty earrings, mary gave me a french press for tea, and matt built me a very beautiful jewelry box and sent a big ass arrangement of flowers to the bank. it was and then we ate cake all day on saturday and lay around. a very good birthday indeed.

*i said this to matt's mom who thinks i am completely insane now.

i've been rather foolishly bad about updating lately. i wish i had a good excuse, but i don't. matt came home with me for my mothers memorial service. it was sad and hard and i'm very glad he came. it was nice that one person wasn't a blubbering mess. emily is already having contractions so there'll be a baby really soon. very exciting.
sara and i have been talking about our respective debt and how we don't fit in our pants and also how we need to make some friends. so those are our completely pathetic new years resolutions. it's comforting atleast that we have eachother to whine too. we're be really sad if we whined alone. to combat the fat thing, i did something so completely not me that i sometimes wake up thinking i dreamed it. i bought darrin's dance grooves for 1.20 on half.com. there's nothing like abject humiliation in your own home right? and with britney. it should prove to be amusing anyway. amusing and desperate. atleast it was cheap.
i'm planning to register the car this afternoon, my father signed the title to me this weekend. so i have to decide quick if i'm doing the fancy liscense plate thing. probably since i've already half planned to trade it in next year it would be a waste of money. i just hope my dad won't be too upset.
i've listed the honda for sale, not that anyone seems to want it. it is maine in the winter after all. but it's early yet. i have been having weird dreams about it. i dreamed that this group of teenage boys was talking about it and comparing it to the ford escort, and they chose the escort. nightmare.
today is my fake birthday, or the day i'm going to pick up my ring from being sized and then matt and i are going to dinner. and then saturday we're baking my birthday cake together because we really don't want to go out on a saturday in december. we're hermits. it's fun to celebrate all week though. i got a package from Holly with the proposal scarf from old navy, a cook book of all chocolates, and 12 months of martha stewart living. it's fabulous. i've already got projects planned. YAY!

the computer people here at work have been relentlessly going back and forth between servers, or something. my internet set ups have been changing over and over again. the inconvenience of this is pretty minor, i have to type in some sites every day. it's not a big deal. the thing that's driving me completely insane, is that annie's godforsaken weblog keeps popping up (it's a very slow computer, when you scroll down sometimes it just grabs sites at random). it's really getting on my nerves. i can't help but see the titles. introverted introvert, no, pathologically self-absorbed. but, i digress. i'm just tired of getting stuck into that website, asshole.

irony: there were so many red subaru foresters in the graves lot last night one couple was overheard to say "maybe it's that one?"

atleast once a month i will do something that will make matt shake his head and say "i don't know about you". the last time he did it was only a few days ago but i can't for the life of me remember what i did to make him say it that time. he usually follows that with saying something like he's never met anyone like me before and somehow he says it with a sincerity that overrides the cliche. i don't actually try to get under his skin like that, it just sort of happens and actually i think he likes it. well, it's more like he admits he likes it. i guess he's a weirdo too.
he was looking at my to do list the other day, titled the "should do today list". i wouldn't want to put too much pressure on one day to get too much done. but he said it was a breakthrough of honesty. but he also commented that putting 1/2 or 1/3 next to each completed item is cheating. i call it "mapping progress". there are some things you can't really do half of. like you can't half clean the cat box (unless someone really funny like holly calls you when you're only half done the cat box thing) but a cat box is either clean or not clean. there is no 1/3 completion of a cat box. but you can vacuum 1/3 of your house. i have three rooms, i vacuumed one. 1/3. i have two trash cans. i emptied one. take out trash 1/2. now probably it takes more effort to write 1/2 next to the trash line than it would to take out the bathroom trash, but nobody's perfect. he's the kind of matt that doesn't need lists. everything he needs to do gets done right then because he is not a lazy bitch with a blackbelt in procrastination. he's a mature and upstanding young person who doesn't wait to take out the trash or to do the dishes or for the cat to eat those pieces of kibble that fall out of her bowl instead of picking them up. not that i would ever do that either. hmmm. so i guess he doesn't need to map his progress. his progress is ongoing and unmapable. responsible bastard.