i just fielded a call complaining about our branch. some guy with no money in his account wanted to cash a big ass check from out of state. they call it karma.

today's keyword searches:

2 7.41% i like kids, but i can't eat a whole one. (how i love this one!)
2 7.41% elvis has left the building (obvious)
1 3.70% how much waste was in elvis when he died (why god, why?)
1 3.70% martha stewart curiosity cabinet (i'm building one, the august issue rocks!)
1 3.70% preparation h does not work anymore (good to know)
1 3.70% most northern starbucks (?)
1 3.70% dragballs (have fun!)
1 3.70% elvis has left (yup)
1 3.70% elvis used hair products (probably)
1 3.70% elvis has left the building audio (not on this page anyway)
1 3.70% koi are goldfish (NO THEY ARE NOT)
1 3.70% elvis cant leave the building (hehehe)
1 3.70% strangers licking me (sarah, this was you wasn't it?)
1 3.70% gringo's in bar harbor (tasty)
1 3.70% what hair products did elvis use (lard)
1 3.70% bangor august 17 elvis (first bob marley, now elvis?)
1 3.70% did elvis have diabetes (probably)
1 3.70% left the building what does it mean (huh?)
1 3.70% what does elvis has just left the building mean? (oh)
1 3.70% seattlekisa yonker (happy birthday jimmy smits)
1 3.70% ice luge kit (always a favorite)
1 3.70% geddy's hotel presque isle maine (really?)
1 3.70% apple ocean elvis (celebrity children?)
1 3.70% gallaudet pronounce (the irony)

an obviously cloven-hooved woman from new jersey shook her head at me when i waved her to a stop so a mother and child could cross the street. the babies must be made of rubber in jersey, that's all i can figure. it's been quite a week for incidents in tourist-ville. some gentleman (ahem) almost hit me with his cigarette while i took my lunch time walk. and we just watched a van from new york hit a truck not once, not twice, but three times while parallel parking. and then they got out. and looked at their van. and shed not a glance at the truck. nor it's owner. who was in the bank and watched his truck get hit three times. personally, since i know that people here have rifles in their trucks, i wouldn't upset the owner of a truck in maine. but maybe new yorkers travel armed too, what do i know?

this blog is quickly becoming the assholes on vacation chronicles. i really want to chalk "I live here DAMNIT" on my hood but it probably wouldn't help. i'll just seeth until october. and drool.

"I had to park in your spot because someone was in mine." (insert pirate growl here)