January 30, 2008

Rash would be so much more fulfilling

It's hard trying to be a grown-up. I'm sitting around biting my tongue waiting to hear about any of the gaggle of resumes I've sent out over the last few days. Typing that sentence made me realize that I have no idea where my cellphone is, the cellphone unto which I have directed all of my possible interview calls. Shit. This is so me. Odds on I can't find it and have a meltdown. You know of course that it's set on vibrate so I can't, you know, call it or anything and find it the easy way. Damn. We know I'll go insane buy a new one with money I don't have the minute before I walk out on my job only to find it the second I get home from the store. Guess I have a plan atleast. Freak out, spend money! gotta have a plan.

So, what's new? The readership here has grown an awful lot since I started, you know, posting things here. It's changed a lot, I know most of you are coming over from Athena and that's awesome. Sometimes I don't feel very well rounded over there (pun totally worthwhile!) and I do actually have interests above feeding my gob. With my whole five minutes of wealth I bought myself the latest PJ Harvey with a coupon. It's very good, very soothing really. I was going to buy rainbows next...but alas.

No new computer, no new cds...I'll trade my car in for one like the Flintstones had...it'll be alright. If there's one thing that getting out of debt taught me it's that things are just things and money is just money. Food, water, heat and I'm good. If I don't have a job I don't have to even shower! Think of all the soap I can save! This is where my months/years of coupon shopper hoarding has come in handy. Things we'll never run out of at my house include: Ivory soap (matt's favorite), Toilet paper, and tuna. You can live a long damn time with all that stuff. There's a hefty amount of shampoo too, even the fancy brillian brunette kind! If I watched a few more episodes of Macguver we'd really be set for life.

I expect the many ways my life will be changing will mean I'll be here a lot more. What with all the nothing to do. And there are a lot of emotions to digest. I can feel myself getting less and less angry as the days pass. I really want to stay mad, I want to be pissed and indignant and yeah I want to be mean too. None of those are smart, grown up ways to live. I do think it's important to stand up for myself, I just need to be smart about it. I had so many plans that are getting trashed by this turn of events. I have to remember that life isn't about plans coming to bear. It's everything else that happens while you're waiting around for the time to be right. A sucky plan, even if completed successfully, is still sucky and money is just money.

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