Letters to my boyfriends mom: his beautiful girl

"This is my son Tom and his beautiful girl, Sandy."  I am not Sandy and Tom is not my boyfriend.  I am the girlfriend of your oldest son, the one you pointed to and said "oh and this is Matt and Amy".  You can't know how much it hurt me that you did that to me, to us.  This is my other son who is of no consequence and his girlfriend who is too ugly to deserve an adjective.  I guess it could have been worse, you could have said that I was his ugly girl Amy.  I suppose that would have been worse, to have it spelled out in words in front of your whole family instead of just the unsaid criticism that I'm not as good as a girl who had two kids with a drunk and has the brains of an invertebrate.

But I'm not supposed to be sarcastic or flippant because the whole point of this exercise is to be more zen.  This is an exercise in not alienating my boyfriends family with my continued anger about things that happened in the past and while I completely deserve to be angry about them I deserve happiness and peace more.  So I am writing down all the things that hurt me in an effort to let them go.  Even if I have to write the same post about that day over and over again I will and eventually I will conquer my anger and regain my peace because no one who makes me feel like shit deserves to keep making me feel like shit.  So that is my project, to talk about all the things that hurt me and let them go and move on.

It really hurt to be called out like that, the ugly girlfriend of your worthless son.  It also really hurt the day you reminded me in front of everyone not to eat the olive pizza because it belonged to a child.  Not only am I apparently so fat that I must steal food from children but I don't even like black olives.  So, you know nothing about me and you think I'm a big fat slob who steals food from kids.  Thanks a lot!  Nice to have a mom!  (this no sarcasm thing is going to be hard...buddha was hardcore to be zen without any sarcasm at all...)