i can't believe it's new years. it feels really strange. tomorrow, 2005. weird. holly made it safely and even found the house. which is really cool. she and kitty have found true love. which is more or less what happens with anyone who meets kitty. per sarah, kitty is a love machine.

poor mr. car. this morning i drove to work holding my door closed. it's only 20 degrees. why are the door mechanisms freezing at 20 now, when they worked all last year through the -20's. this is is not a good sign. as mary put it, i'll be putting my new car planning into effect much sooner. if i don't ever have to drive farther than ellsworth it should be ok. i programmed mary's home number into my cell. if anything goes awry in the vicinity of ellsworth, i'm pretty sure she likes me enough to rescue me. (crosses fingers)
mmm...golf

TONI

You are caring and generous, a pillar of your
circle of friends. And even the cartoonist
doesn't understand you.


Which Dyke of 'Dykes To Watch Out For' are you most like? (beta version)
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it is snowy and warm today. even if it's a little gray. cute mr. two-dollar bills told us that the weird thing on top of the geddy's b&b is indeed an eagle. a christmas eagle. whatever. so since i'm expecting houseguests, i've actually cleaned up the living room. and hung my glittery target van gogh's. what could be better than glitter covered iris' from target? not much my friends, not much. unfortunately i had to patch a bit of the walls. and i swear the can said gloss. but alas, i have flat patches. because i am a dumbass. so now i can paint the rest of the room flat. or i can get gloss paint and hope it matches. which is probably what i'll do because i have neither the time nor inclination or enough paint to do the whole room.
so, houseguests. holly is coming for new years and hopefully sarah wants to come visit too sometime soon. that will be very cool indeed. and it's not even that cold. not like last time. with the survival panic. and my neighbors have dogs, and they're so cute. one's a husky and one's just big and cute. i'm sure it's some fancy breed but i have no idea which. you can hear him running back and forth uptairs when jeff gets home. such is the joy.

the short of it is that my mom is really sick. the effect of the drugs is sort of like alzheimers. she spent one day telling my sister what a bad person she was. she told me i'm a drain on the family's finances while simultaneously pressing her debit card on me to buy holly dinner. it was strange, very strange. and since i can't think of anything else to say that is remotely positive, i think i'll end this christmas story there.
on the upside, mary and i still have about 5 lbs. of chocolate to work our way through. calorie rich therapy. mmm. we've also started preparing for the "employee recognition event". which is sure to include games and puzzles and the like, because what kind of self-respecting fool wouldn't want to sing "i'm a little tea-pot" to their colleagues to win a company t-shirt? err. nonetheless, mary and i are very competitive. perhaps even fierce. and her husband is a good sport. so i'm sure we'll have a good time and win a boatload of t-shirts.

mary: so, what did you get for christmas?
me: treated badly, you?
mary: haha
me: no, really.


i guess that's not as funny as i thought it would be.

so just because i have to work till 1, drive five hours, and i haven't wrapped any of my presents yet, there's no reason to worry. right. i'm sure it'll be fine. merry merry and all that, right. err.

i bought the worlds tiniest remote control mini cooper for my nephew. i had got him a very cute pig puppet, at cracker barrel. so you know it was class. but he is now five, and in school, and too cool for fuzzy pink toys. such i learned when we went shopping together and he formed emotional bonds with the slime-cano and some monster thing that shot stuff out of it's arms. and so, remote control car it is. it's really quite hard to find a cool toy for a five year old. because they're really too little for a lot of things that they really want to be big enough for. and if i got something that the baby would choke on, my sister would hunt me down like a dog. so naturally, to make sure the toy is safe. mary and i have been driving it around the bank. dodging the customers, of course. i think i'll have to pick up one for myself.
i guess the piggy will go to grace. who is way too little. but we all know i don't need more stuffed animals in my life. or my house. not that i don't love them. i am a manatee, and i do like to eat and rest. but they take up a lot of space.
we have this one customer who comes in every friday. and since it's friday, and we're hella bored, we're always having some assanine conversation in which we involve him. ie: the true definition of slurpee, just how insightful is princess diaries 2, and on and on. he came in monday, which is rare, and i couldn't think of anything dumb to talk about with him. we were all dissapointed. and since he's coming in this afternoon instead of tomorrow i have to try and think of something to chat about. i'm thinking of draught beer in a can, genius marketing lie or no? unless anyone has anything more ridiculous. or i could always just run over him in my mini cooper and keep up my reputation for excitement that way.
it seems that people really enjoy the incompetence and unprofessionalism of my tellering style. who knew?

i didn't really get to finish that post because i had to work and stuff. but i wanted to add that i hate that i can't fit in to lane bryant clothes. not that i really like them. it's just that that store is supposed to make you feel like you belong when you're not skinny right. and they don't love me. but then no one else does either. why can't they just get together and get these sizes mainstreamed. a normal sized t-shirt at old navy is a xxl. bastards. so anyway, lane bryant excludes me. except for their bras. that's the only store i can find them. and it sucks that they want me to buy their magazine when i just want to buy an overpriced bra. just sell me my exorbitant undergarment and leave me be.
and also, vaguely related, i was reading this article that placed kate winslett as a plus size actress. that's f'ed up.

lane bryant are manipulative bastards. they tried to force me to buy their fat girl magazine. apparently if you buy the magazine, you get a discount. but i already had a coupon. and i don't need more useless crap in my house. i was very enraged. and the lady kept saying "i just can't believe you want to spend more money". that made me even more rage-tastic. was i being a spaz, or is it really wrong to make people buy your magazine? i think i've been sold that magazine before. because i've read it before, and they don't ask if you want it. they just ring it up. and the magazine was crap. it was all about how men really do like big women. and that is just not my deal. validation is good, i guess. but forced validation in the name of comercialism pisses me off. now i have to go count money.

so it's cold and i'm home and i really am glad to be back. i had a very excellent time and it's made me think about alot of things. holly and sarah are both planning to come visit. mary keeps calling me a wild woman. and paul really loved his crab hat. dennis and i are discussing nature vs. nurture in the political arena. he thinks i'd like bush if he agreed with me, but i say no because if he agreed with me he would do less stupid things that make me hate him.
apparently there was a stabbing on cottage street last week. the one week i wasn't here, and someone gets stabbed downtown. wild and crazy bar harbor. i missed my customers actually. the nice boy who gets 2 dollar bills and fifty cent pieces with his birth year on them because that's how much a budweiser costs (someone at the whale is cursing me right now!) and the nice, if a little strange, couple who invited me over for christmas if i'm alone this year. it seems that i was very much missed and mary is taking great delight in telling folks about the bar fight thing. and the burning the hole in the carpet thing. did i mention that last part before...lamps are hot, apparently, when they're on the floor, for a while. who knew?

i should say, if matt stops by the site that today is our open house full of holiday cheer, just so you know.
that other thing, my vacation, was very cool indeed. my first night there we saw a very good band and got into a bar fight with some santas. kirsten was nicknamed pinky by a very feisty drunk girl. the drunk girl was very cute, despite screaming pinky! down the length of the bar and doing that reeling in the fish thing. i met the boy kirsten is seeing, and the boy laura is seeing, and the girl that amy really wants to see and also her girlfriend. err. i got a new tattoo, and i did alot of shopping. and a little bit of drinking. and there were alot of drugs, none of which were taken by me. very exciting.

so i was loading this huge box of beer, given to me by a very nice customer, when another customer drives by and honks. and this morning he called and asked how the party was. there's just something special about a small town.
mary brought me the best gift ever from hawaii. a notepad with a tan hello kitty surfing. it's just so cute. i love her. birthdays are fun. annie brought me some funny books last night and helped me move the futon. maybe the best thing about having no police is that you can totally drive with a sofa hanging out of your trunk without worry of legal repurcussion.
i'm trying to fix all the things i need to fix and finish before i go away. it seems i have alot of projects in the air when it feels like i do so little.

i just licked 148 envelopes. and boy, are my double entendres tired.

last night i drove my often jailed neighbor to rite-aid. she called me at the bank, and it was very odd. apparently her ex has a protection order against her. and she offered him a ham. and she got put in jail. while she was in jail they lost power, and it was very unpleasant. funny thing that, jail being unpleasant.
holly dearest from highschool and i have been having a lot of chats recently. we're discussing seeing some of the other friends from highschool. the half people. and how we always behave like half people when we're with them. and how we don't want to be half people. there are two choices: we can just not see them, or we can be ourselves and stand the chance of scaring them away. hard call.

is the sedition act of 1798 still an active law? it seems that would put alot of bloggers in jail.

i'm supposed to be decorating the bank for christmas. but i'm a scrooge. i just don't feel like christmas. part of it is that my parents never did christmas stuff till after my birthday. we always got the tree after my birthday and started freaking out about the christmas party then. annie and i got my fake tree last year christmas eve or something. it was on sale, so it must have been pretty close to the deadline. i haven't decided if i'll put it up this year. because i'm a scrooge. or well actually, i'm just busy. finishing the move, and then unpacking, and then vacation next week. as it is the bank christmas party is on the monday i get back and i have to figure out what to bake for the party on sunday in the wee hours. perhaps i'll buy a package of those green and red oreos and call it a day. part of it is that i'll be home for christmas this year and they'll be all christmassy even if they only do it for the kids. it'll be fun to have christmas with kids around. i can spoil reid and squish grace's fat little legs.

amy the mas called me yesterday. to get directions to the montgomery mall. i love her. she's well and she's very excited i'm coming to visit. i've made arrangements to buy summer beer for her. my liquor store buddy is going to help me out.
i'm very nearly done moving. unfortunately i didn't move things like my coat, or gloves and the like, so i'll have to do that right quick this evening. it's getting cold out.

the new apartment has a shower massage. 'nuff said.

i started moving. the most important things first. my andrew wyeth print(it's a maine farmhouse dudes) and the stereo and cds. if all my music is somewhere else, i think it'll light a fire under my ass to finish the process. i unloaded some things into the kitchen. and i realized that i have a spice rack. and i put the spices on it. which is very cool, only i realized i have five containers of basil. actually, six. man oh man, is that alot of basil. i'm going to have that basil until i die. it's going to be like the brasso from 1972 that my dad refuses to throw away. "i can't throw it away, i paid good money for that." can you donate spices to the food kitchen?

mr. financial services and i have been having a lengthy conversation about national sales tax. ie, a blanket sales tax that would replace income tax and other irs taxes. i suggested that we make prostitution and drugs legal and tax them to the hilt, but he hasn't responded to that yet. it goes hand in hand with the idea of recouping drug money from pimp spending sprees. it's an interesting thought. all of those auditors would have to get new jobs. something to think about anyway. not to say that we haven't been insanely busy today. i don't get it. all of these weird bank problems have been popping up today and i can't seem to get any answers. it's a major bummer.

you know, it's hard to be me and mary. mary does alot of stuff. she's busy. which means i'm busy. i can't wait till she gets back.

dude, hi! i tried to leave a comment, but it was hard, and this is easier. and in the words of sarah "we're fucking lazy".
and also, i'm fucking blind with the old glasses. but mr. nice construction guy said they were cute. and they suit me. these are the geek glasses. so yes, they certainly do suit me. i don't think i used to give boys very much credit for being nice, but it seems there are lots of nice boys around. i just never noticed.

kitty is fine, a diagnosed over groomer. to mare, she doesn't really have a name, she goes by kitty, or fuzzy, or astra if we're at the vet. i still haven't found my glasses. i hope i didn't pack them.
it's not snowing as we were told it would, and it doesn't look like it will be. it's pretty warm out and it's raining a bit. snow would be a downer with the moving. i'm going to try to start tonight. after i make my third attempt at getting my headlight replaced. third time is the charm right? we lost power last night, while we were at the vet. i think the concensus was that someone hit a pole or something at the head of the island. town was very dark indeed. the animals took it very well though. no meowing or barking or anything. and the nice vet guy helped us get down the stairs in the dark.
while i'm thinking about electricity i should really call and get the new apartment electrified. like soon. like now maybe. hmm.