we've had beautiful weather since we came back from "maryland", it was supremely crappy for our vacation. matt says "next time we should really go to maryland, it has to be warmer" which is probably true.* the best weather here, or my partiality, is when it's clear and sunny and "crisp". i was rhapsodizing about this weather just before matt and i stopped for ice cream, even though it was penquin style cold, because it's august and we should take advantage of summer ice cream possibilities. my favorite part of fall is the sweaters. i love sweaters. it's all very j. crew catalogue. fall and sweaters, and maybe some pumpkins in the background. i sometimes wonder if one day matt will think i've lost it, like for real. until then he lets me scrape the rest of my icecream on to his cone without his permission so i won't get frostbite on my tongue.**

in general, things are going well. jobs are proceeding as expected and matt wonders aloud what hello kitty toaster will look like in his apartment with no actual need to think about moving in for awhile. he thinks his friends will enjoy kitty toast and i think they respect his happiness enough not to pick on him.*** other things within my family are not going well. everyone misses mom. dad and emily especially. i worried most about matt and his drinking, but he seems to be dealing relatively well. dad has trouble getting back to his old routines. his favorite things, birding and yoga, seem to be hard for him to get back into. he spends alot of time in the house, alone. my aunts visit him during the week, the same routine they had when my mom was alive. emily visits with the kids. and now emily's family is falling apart. there's no need to catalogue it all here, but she's facing the new school year for reid as a first grader, grace with day care for only two days of the week and the last four months of her pregnancy alone. in alot of ways it can't be any worse than having jeff and his daughter to take care of, that doesn't really help make her situation any better. i am powerless to know what to do or how to help her, but i can't bear that she's suffering.

(somehow the light hearted footnotes feel innapropriate with the way this post ends, so i thought i'd put in a buffer. a parentheseed buffer. a buffer in which you can ponder the appropriateness of my pluralization of the word parenthesis.)

*apparently i have the coldest feet on earth and matt fears for january. everynight he stays over he lists the various woolen undergarments he'll have to purchase to survive the horror of my cold and bloodless feet. i think secretly he likes it.

**"i know i should remind you to get the kid size but i always think it might piss you off, like i think you only need the small one or something and really it doesn't matter because i'd totally buy you the large one if that's like what you wanted..." it goes on from there but i'll spare him that. he has a point, i never can finish my damn ice cream.

***also his family. many members notorious for "giving alot of shit" to people, treat me with more respect. either i look like i don't take any shit which is probable, or they know he's never had a "serious" (dear god how i hate to type that) girlfriend before and no one wants to risk rocking his boat which i think is more likely.