i've been consumed by all manner of things lately, and nothing particularly worth blogging about. however, the sun is shining and it's halloween and everyone is in a good mood. i got my rent refund back to the tune of 245 dollars and i'm very very excited about it. it'll be gone to bills soon enough, but it's a very cool of the state of maine to give me some of my taxes back.
saturday was maine day, the day maine hunters can take to the woods and kill stuff without worrying about out-of-staters shooting anything that moves in their back yards.* matt didn't go hunting saturday. he worked in his yard moving rocks from one pile to another while his brother, his father, some friends and some people no one knew hunted his land. i learned all kinds of stuff about hunting. if you're wearing orange, even if you don't have a gun, the game warden will think you're hunting without a liscense and you will go to jail. you can only hunt does with a special permit. matt's brother will make like he's going to skin you with his hunting knife repeatedly, such is the urge to kill. i guess. heater hunters are to be despised by one and all.** to post your land against hunters you'd have to put up a sign every 50 feet***. matt has over two hundred acres and he refuses to pay for all those signs. also, no one gives a shit about posting including the police unless you make a very significant complaint. when matt walks his property, he brings a gun. for trespassers or bears. apparently his neighbor baits bears. which is a little nerve wracking. i've been warned to run from bears downhill, and then turn at 90 degrees. bears can't stop, so if you're going downhill they roll. which is sort of scary and funny at the same time. it was all about hunting this weekend. i was a little nervous that matt wasn't wearing any orange. he told me not to wear any white, or brown, because a lot of people see those colors as triggers. according to the men folk, this is a reason not to wear underwear while hunting. even though it's effing cold. i don't suppose i would want to get my dick shot if i had one.



*out-of-staters are not the only ones who shoot at anything that moves, and i'm sure they're not all assholes, but they bear the burden of the geographic roots by having to start hunting a week later.
**dudes who wear the orange and have guns and probably liscences but just drive around until they see deer...rather than stalk and suffer the cold like the real men.
***you can also put three diagonal lines in the trees, every fifty feet on the border of your property.

why didn't anyone comment that i'm a moron to contemplate keeping two cars? because i would be. much better to sell the del sol and rid myself of debt. the honda it seems is worth a bit of money, if anyone wants it. the maxima is less so, so that's the one i'll keep. and i can fit my friends in it. shock of shockers, i'll be disapointed to be driving automatic. i really like standard. the idea is to offload the honda to the highest bidder, pay down debts, and later on pick up a crv* or maybe a little truck.
the best part of having a matt is that i can get a junker and he can keep it running. he makes it his lifes work to keep my cars running safely. every one i know is thinking about cars lately. sara has an older maxima that runs mostly but has no heat. but it passed inspection, and i feel her delight in the beauty of that. holly is looking for a gently used late model something. it would be exciting if it wasn't also stressful. mmmm cars.


*i've kind of always wanted one, i think they're much cuter than the del sols and i'd have a pretend backseat, and the performance would be the same.

this weekend my father offered me my mom's car if i want it. if i can afford to insure both of them i probably will. matt is very excited to have the honda in his garage for the winter. it'll be a sleeper* by spring. i'm excited because my mom's car has a 6 cd changer and remote start. i've also been researching their resale value. i don't really have the lifestyle for a sports car or a luxury sedan, a nice four wheel drive subaru would be fine. matt suggets the WRX as a good compromise. i think he should build his damn hot rod instead of turning all of my cars into turbo race mobiles.


*sleeper, n. boy speak for a hot rod that doesn't look like a hot rod. i.e., keep the outside factory, and pimp the shit out of the engine.

this was a very busy weekend. the geo is spoken for, and relatively clean. the girl who wants it has had one before and she really thinks she's getting a deal. which makes me happy, because she is. the one problem with uncle henry's (the buy sell or trade book the car was listed in) is that everyone wants something for nothing. a lot of the calls i got were from people trying to convince me that the car was worthless and they should get it for $500, or $10 or whatever so they can pimp it out and sell it for a profit. the tires and rims are worth $500 alone. but anyway, its sold to a nice girl who got a car loan to buy it. i feel very uneasy about that*, so we made a deal for $750. enough to pay for the work my dad has done to it and clear 500 for the belated purchase of the honda. and it'll be gone. GONE. and that is a beautiful thing.
the next beautiful thing is that i have pictures of grace in the dumbo costume. unbelievable adorable. she has learned to sind the "e i e i o" of old mac donalds farm and very sweetly says "thank you" for everything from picking her up when she falls down to handing her a goldfish cracker. very polite. since emily is due in early december, we did a bit of her christmas shopping this weekend. including matching christmas dresses for grace and the new baby.** and i took a picture of the cart elavator at target for matt's family who just can't believe that such a thing exists.

for the bloopers section of this broadcast i fell flat on my face for no apparent reason. emily was getting cash from the drive up atm. she didn't grab the money fast enough, so the machine just spit it out. in to the wind. since she's 8 months pregnant, i offered to run in to the wind after her 40 dollars. and i tripped on the god damn perfectly flat asphalt. i've never seen emily laugh so hard. the worst part is that it's captured for posterity on the bank security video. lets hope they don't routinely review them.
sunday morning my dad was clipping coupons for stretchmark removal services for emily. i'm pretty sure it was a joke, but i enjoyed it more than she did. the best part of the weekend was emily mouthing "help me" accross the table after reid pronounced that they'll need two highchairs when the baby comes. help indeed. she's praying for an early delivery.


* it hurts my heart that someone would be paying prime interest to own my 10 year-old prizm, but her boyfriend is going to put a choice stereo in it, so i guess it'll work out.
** if indeed it is a girl.

i got a raise. i'm very excited. no stupid two jobs next summer. so, it's only 3:30 and i have alot more time than i thought. to blog. and read gilead which is really really good. matt and i went to target last night. i got chairman meow a pink catnip mouse, with a very alarmed face. and with good reason. she gnawed on that thing like, well, like a cat eating catnip but it was fascinating (it seems with that imagery an analogy isn't really necessary). she totalled the thing within minutes. matt tried to take it from her to engage her in more active, less destructive play, so she took it in her mouth and ran under the couch. on the one hand it was worth the 2.50 because she really seemed to enjoy it. on the other i'm a little pissed that she destroyed it so unceremoniously, instead of ehhh...savoring it. atleast she enjoyed it.

we've been busy, which is unprecedented because this is maine in october. so i've been a delinquent poster. i received my camera cord today. speedy speedy service at fuji film. i'm very impressed. i've already downloaded the last pictures i took with it, grace's birthday in april. my mom is in most of them, in her wheelchair and smiling. the cord issue is not the only thing that's kept me from getting these pictures off the camera. in a wheelchair, even smiling, is not how i want to remember my mother. i have memories of her walking, but i can't remember the last time i saw her walk. i remember her dancing more than walking. the woman was always dancing and singing. that is my preferred memory.
someone, i think finslippy, recently wrote about putting thoughts and voices in a jar to calm the mind. i have a fluffy white washcloth that i mentally wipe away bad memories with. it's a temporary fix but the illusion that i can wipe away the memory of my dad tipping spoonfuls of milk into my mothers mouth and replace it with her dancing and telling the waiter at the brewery that it's ok to drop glasses of water on her because she gets hot flashes anyway. she still cracks me up.

i had a post all written, but our servers died. i hate that. but now i can't remember at all what i had written so i'm starting over. we spent most of the day thinking out mary's halloween costume. she's going to be professor mcgonagall. i think i'm going to try for tonks if i can find pink hair spray. we're trying to find a character for sara but she's just not as excited as we are. hermione could work, as sara has a lot of hair, but it's a toss up until the day.
i found a bunch of good squash soup recipes and a recipe for squash cookies i'll put up on the fridge just to unnerve matt. i was looking at all sorts of house wifey things to do for the holidays. one was cookies on sticks in the shapes of flowers. and then you stick them in a terra cotta pot. adorable. i really should be a housewife. god, how annoying would i be then? i don't think i could stand it all day, best to keep it a hobby.

this sunday was the MDI marathon and guess who started it off? martha. but she couldn't use a starting pistol, as she's a convicted felon. she had to use an airhorn. poor dear. i didn't see any of the runners, they didn't come by my house and probably i was out shopping when they were running anyway.
i was trying not to be a shopper this weekend. can't you taste the self righteousness? but clearly i failed. i limited myself to groceries and acorn squash the size of my head for shopping on saturday. i did the dishes. i scrubbed the toilet. i vacuumed the fuzz colonies from under the bed. by the time matt was over for dinner i had prepared three courses and baked cookies. i was completely restless for things to do and he said, i quote "maybe you should spend your saturdays in bangor". it seems i am a happier camper when i surf bargains in the big bad city.
but seriously, these squash. one of the farmer markets was having a sale. i guess all the rain is putting a damper on their sales and they're desperate to get rid of the squash. i also got pie pumpkins. and a blue hubbard, but a tiny one. matt thinks he doesn't like squash. little does he know. he won't even know he's eating it. mwahaha.
is anyone a fan of father ted? we've been watching lately courtesy of netflix and it's hilarious. just when you think it can't get any more random, it goes the extra mile. i just love it.
the dude from world headquarters didn't show up so we don't know what's up with our promotions and raises. the tension, it's electric. i can't stand the waiting.

i just ordered a new usb cord for the digital camera. when i get home, i will look somewhere like the coffee table and the original cord will be sitting there, ready to use. guaranteed. i searched the house all weekend, while also cleaning and trashing all of these strange things i've been inexplicably saving and moving for YEARS. one can put both feet under my kitchen table now. it's amazing. anyway, without the cord the camera's just an expensive paperweight so it was worth the 15 dollars to replace it.
old navy opened in bangor last night. i wasn't going to go. matt came over and since he spent the day sniffing kerosene i didn't think he'd be up to going anywhere...but he was. so we went. it's the smallest old navy i've ever seen. sadly there's no clearance in a BRAND NEW STORE so it was kind of a bust. but we had a really nice dinner, and the weather was good for a drive. very fally with the foliage.
on monday the big boss from the MO is coming to visit. so i'll have to be professional. we're hoping to get sara benefits and me a raise. wish us luck.

maybe it's not too cold, maybe we just ran out of charcoal. either way, grilling is done for the season. we did just pick up a cast iron pan for cheap at marshalls, but i've decided it's too much work. lots of rules for cooking with cast iron. i'll get some nice simple aluminum and just buy a new one in ten years when it's dead. heirloom cookware my ass.
a guy from aflac came by this morning to distribute pamphlets. mary has been making the aflac noise all morning. she's been cracking me up. welcome to winter. the simpler the entertainment the better. truly.
i should be off on my walk to the library. before it rains again. matt's been teaching me the finer points of leachfields when it rains alot. fascinating.

i've been reading the allrecipes website alot lately. which isn't really new, but it's starting to get a little old. every recipe says "the best ________" or "my family loves them" they can't all be the best, and really who is going to say "gee auntie, next time bring chips ahoy" (i'm looking at cookie recipes). i'd really rather descriptions like pinky's wine. specific things, like the flavor is like this, this ingredient adds this to the dish. maybe i'm just picky. i've been doing alot of things without recipes lately. sort of rifling through my new moosewood cookbook and mixing a bunch of ideas together. it's been fun.
we decorated for halloween today. i've been putting the last pieces of my costume together as well. i've got a broom, and a quill. i just need to write gringotts on a piece of cardboard and i'm all set. exactly one person will get it, but it'll make me happy. i've given up on having trick or treaters so i'll have to have my fun at work. i talked to my sister saturday and i learned that reid is going to be a teradactyl(very wrong spelling) and grace is going to be dumbo. i can hardly stand the adorableness. dumbo.
town is gearing up for the end of the season. everyone is trying to sell as much as possible before boarding up. 50% off sales everywhere. i might try to do some christmas shopping. who doesn't want a HIKE ACADIA hat for christmas? the plan is more to get a half off tourmaline for my sister. and silly earrings for matt's mom, if i can find any. she loves silly earrings. my mother would never wear earrings in the shape of tiny boots, but matt's mom is all over it. it's kind of fun actually. i expect everyone else is getting books, but it's early days yet.

the rain, it is mighty. and unending. 10 inches at last count, we're lucky to be living on mountains. instant drainage.
there was alot of shopping this weekend, and a wedding, and a spaghetti sauce that matt actually liked. i purged alot of my apartment. it needed it. more later.

clearly a meme and not an original. a slew of my favorite kids books are on here. i now wonder if my mom picked them on purpose. the italics are ones i've read.


Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

i got my first phonecall about the GEO. and i'm a moron already. i kept reminding myself that i was going to get random phone calls, but i forgot. this gent wanted to know the miles, and since i couldn't remember that either, i had to call him back. and i had to leave him a message. if you've ever received a phone message from me, you know how embarrassing it must have been. i'm assuming that either it'll be a no sale on that call, or he'll wheedle me into the ground based on my stupidity. i guess we'll see. i'm going to practice being articulate for the next one, if there is a next one. i wonder what insurance would give us if we just torched it and called it a freak accident. not that i would do that. on purpose.
while i was talking to my dad, he was telling me all about his adventures in babysitting. apparently grace was feeding him last night. she was repaying the favor. she'll be allset to take care of the next baby.
i spent my evening washing the mold from my bathroom ceiling with a bleach solution. old houses i guess. i imagine it'll be better when it's cold, what self-respecting kind of mold would live in maine in the winter. all the hip molds go to palm beach.
i was in ellsworth also yesterday, shamedly shopping at walmart. where else is one supposed to buy laundry detergent? there's no local laundry store to patronize. there just isn't. so i went to walmart and i'm going to give the arm & hammer a try. it was cheap and it's full of baking soda goodness. i was considering the woolite dark wash, because of satan's dress code, but what happens if you wash something light in the dark wash? i'm too lazy to separate and i never have enough quarters* anyway so i just wash everything in cold. so arm & hammer it is. they make great kitty litter, why not laundry detergent? the possibilities of baking soda are seemingly endless.


*i could go to the gas station next door and get quarters, but the teeth to employee ratio is way off the norm and they make me nervous.

no one recognizes laura thornton's name because she got married, laura hamilton ring any bells? i very often forgot that folks get married and change their names and then you have no idea who they really are. more later

i've been feeling very girly lately. above and beyond the every day domestics. while amy was here she was forced to help me buy perfume, shoes and shop for handbags. the horror. the perfume was from the duty free shop on the border. it's elizabeth arden's green tea. two amies agreed that it was lovely, and it was cheap. we also bought cheap alcohol, hopefully amy's grey goose made it home in one piece.
i was trying to find something appropriate and seasonal to wear to sara the bank teller's wedding this sunday, and so amy had to survive the mall with me. i didn't actually have any luck. i'm still praying that old navy opens saturday...but as a compromise i picked up some femme heels to dress up some work clothes. sara won't care, but it's a mark of respect to look nice. they make me taller than matt. which he suggested should help me reach things. it's not that i can't reach them myself, i just like it when he does it for me. it's the principle of the thing.
i looked at bags in marshalls and tjmaxx, the only stores i could ever afford to purchase one in, but had no luck. the only one i really liked was $60. since no one else in the bangor municipal area can afford that price either (atleast no one who shops at tjmaxx) i have great hopes that if i'm diligent enough it'll be marked down more and i'll catch the deal. shopping is a sport after all, it's all about strategy.

my problem with martha, while i love reading the magazine, is that i'm both too cheap and too lazy to do alot of her things. but gosh, how i love to look at them. i've been thinking of indulging myself with a magazine subscription. maybe martha, maybe some fashion rag. i haven't decided. i think cooking light would be too practical, i wouldn't want to get something i'd actually use. where's the entertainment there? that's utility. and who wants that?
i'd been idly looking for a cookie cutter in the shape of a maple leaf, to fulfill one of martha's ideals. but i didn't want to actually spend the money on one. it seems that matt, being a machinist, can make me cookie cutters in any shape i want. jackpot. it would be fun to make caricatures of the reid and grace and decorate them to give the children different moods. happy grace, grumpy grace. and then you could eat the grumpy one. chomp. but then maybe my sister won't relish canniballizing her children.
the queen mary 2 is in portland today, but it's so foggy they used the footage of her rolling into bar harbor instead. crafty bastards.

we did a bit of a tour of the st laurent. we stayed in trois rivieres and took day trips to montreal and quebec city. mostly we drove around and ate alot which is a nice change of pace from working alot and eating alot. amy let me cook for her, as though she'd really stop me, and i tried to teach her how to make mac and cheese. if she's tuning in i'd also like to say that the fish chowder was a lot better the next day and i really rather impressed myself. not that it's hard exactly.
matt and i are going to use the rest of the apples tonight. his father offered me jars if i canned my applesauce, which i guess is a compliment.
i have an inexplicable urge to subscribe to the martha stewart magazine. i was browsing in it a bit at the bookstore last night and it's really very fun. i'll probably never go out and buy old fashioned candy jars and print labels for them that say "dastardly treats, dissatisfaction guaranteed" but if i had the jars around already, i might be persuaded. i'll probably never dry fresh cocscumb(i really have no idea if i've spelled that right) and put it under glass to pretend it's some one's brain, but i might upend the glass, and leave a trail of oooze where the brain should be. that would be cheaper, and more ooogy.
i'll probably never spray paint my pumpkins black, or buy white ones, but i think they both looked pretty cool. maybe if i had children to frighten a glowing black pumpkin would be more worthwile. i wonder how much self respect it would cost to get a subscription?

news from hood is that laura thornton passed away. it seems she graduated with us, i feel terribly that i can't remember her. it's sad that so many hoodlums are passing.

it was a very relaxing week off, so much so it seems there's nothing to say about this past week. mr. cosby was very funny and the common ground fair was very earthy (and the pro-life protestors were very innapropriate, should anyone else have seen them). despite leaving for canada a day late, i still forgot my shoes. we had to stop at dick's in bangor* where amy pronounced the footwear associate a dyke within seconds of spotting her**. it was very strange to be having that kid of conversation again. i suppose i could incite such discussions with matt, but he just wouldn't care.
customs gave us absolutely no shit, the hotel was better for 65 dollars a night than we could have hoped for (amy tried all three of the proffered breakfast meats), and she pushed the limits of her love for fromage. we visited a condemned prison, the tour was conducted by an ex inmate and it was fabulous. the best part of our trip second only to amy meeting matt's brother upon our return. highlights include "you know what they say about girls that wear bandanas" amy telling him that her cock was bigger than his, and this gem of an exchange: nate "i'll bend you over the sink right now" amy "the men's room or the ladies room, i'd blend into the mens but what'll it do to your reputation?". oh dear. bangor is just not ready.



*this sentence deserves two footnotes...one because there's an old navy and a famous footwear opening in bangor, and while the all consuming developement sucks, i'm very excited not to have to drive 3 hours to capitalize on my greedy consumerism.
** and secondly, anyone who knows any mas will not be surprised that the shoe lady is gay.