the dvd player is dead. dead as a doornail. dead as roadkill. dead as the bank on this fine wednesday morning. tomorrow i am going to walmart to replace it with another 40 dollar dvd player that will last a year. and since that's still less than i spent on text messages last month* it's probably worth the money.
matt asked me to lunch today for our "monthaversary" and he said "i almost forgot, i'd be in so much trouble" to which i say "huh?" but then i told him i'd let him buy me flowers to make up for it and he very solemnly said "ok". i expect a hothouse of blooms any minute.
the squeals of harry potter fans are increasing everyday i work at the bookstore. including one child screaming "17 days! IT'S NOT FAIR". if it hadn't been so late at night i'd say that child has a long hard road ahead of him, but probably he was just tired. some of the more stalwart employees are making arrangements for harry potter night aswell. involving sleepovers. i very nearly offered my hard ass floor to one of the sweet girls who works in the center store. except the floor is hard. and i'd have to clean. and the cat would sleep on her head.*** but yet all this might be more in sweet girl's interest than the chattering chat chat chatty pants that she's probably staying with. that's one thing about this job. the chatting. it's very nearly all women. of varying ages. and the chatting. oooooh, the chatting. i can't stand much more chatting. chatting in front of customers. chatting while customers are actually being waited on. and the volume of the chattering. it's indecent. and it makes me completely INSANE. mary and i were discussing the swiftness with which we would fire these individuals, if we had the power. i don't care about your boyfriend's work schedule in boston at the hotel and how you told him you loved him while he was at work and then told all of the patrons aroudn you that he's your boyfriend and they were all so pleased for you and you all talked and drank and sang and went merrily off in to the sunset. I DON'T CARE, and the man trying to buy his copy of the latest dan brown doesn't care EITHER. ARGH. how do these people have jobs? HOW?


*BECAUSE I AM STUPID**.
**(hehe) and i got my bill, and i was like holy shit! and i almost sent matt a text message about the text messaging bill but i was hit over the head with the irony and left bleeding in an alley.
***a privilege to save for those with whom i share lasting relationships.

we are crazy with the busy. which has led sara to sing "crazy in the bank, crazy in the bank" in a continuous loop, just like the black eyed peas song. yo.

mr. matt stayed in town with me last night because he had a board of directors meeting* and also**. it was good because it was very cold out and he is warm. and he washed my dishes, and even tried to scrub the cute red pasta pot that i burned to a crisp on sunday. and also because i was all grumpy this morning until i got to slather his face with dove moisturizing lotion with sunscreen while he was brushing his teeth and he couldn't complain till after when he said "what have you done to me?".***



*doesn't that sound fancy?
**which he attended in his machinist clothes after every co-worker of his said "are you wearing THAT?" and also because he has no other clothes at my house (koff).
***hehehe

i've finished one whole chapter of my bank class, so i guess i'm done for today. spent a very relaxing weekend cooking and being domestic and setting my pasta pot aflame. but then matt burned all the hair of his right hand with the grill and the lighter fluid, so we're even.
sara and i were both considering calling out today, and we're lucky we didn't as mary is out due to her son's car accident. he's reportedly going to be fine. because i was all domestic we have brownies, so we're all set really. i was definitely channelling my mother this weekend with the cooking. although i never heard her say she set pots on fire BOILING WATER*. but whatever. i made her macaroni salad and i made her terriyaki kebabs, the brownies weren't strictly hers, but i cut up a whole water melon and forced matt to take it with his lunch and that is very like my mom. eat the watermelon! it's hot, you'll dehydrate, EAT IT!
i was debating the virtues of an airconditioner until the sea breeze picked up yesterday evening. virtue: it would be cooler non-virtue: having to move said air-conditioner, paying the electric bill, having to move the air conditioner. those are heavy muthas.
air conditioners are relativiely cheap, and probably i'd get enough relief from it to make it worthwile, but the dvd player is also broken. and that is an epic type tragedy. dude. i've blown air in it. i've blown air all of the the discs. and then i decided maybe it was too hot, so i turned one of my two fans to cool it down.** no dice. it was cheap, but i've only had it like a year or something. i'm heartbroken. no vicar of dibley, no muppets in new york, and now i'll never know how that morse mystery from netflix ended. ARGH!


*let alone more than once. jesus.
**such was my dedication to the cause.

happy birthday mom. i'm going to get a really nice cake.

this weekend i celebrated reid's birthday, met an old highschool friend, and moved a couch with my del sol. i ate out way too often and grace got pigtails.* and the best news of all, Mary is BACK. and she brought cake. we LOVE her.
the couch is very comfy, and very large. i'm not sure where to put it. did i mentin it reclines? i might build a shrine to it, but that won't help the space problem. i think next time i see matt i'll insist he help me re-arrange the living room over and over. he'll like that.
grace is walking and talking up a storm. she said hi to every patron of uno's on sunday. and clapped when her daddy won the raffle. if i had children they would be painfully stupid and scream all day. emily's talk at 14 months and take naps with a smile on their face. best not to tempt fate.
holly and i had dinner with our friend from highschool, christine. who was expecting to get married and make babies any time now but who's plans have been diverted. it was a long night. we all fell asleep watching a helen mirren/robert redford movie that i can't remember the name of.

* reid's 5 year old friend the first day of grace's pigtails: "did you get a new baby?" reid: "no, she just got new hair"

and i said "how's your toast?" and he said "toasty!". and it was the best.

despite my frequent absences and lulls and well...laziness i am here and pretty much i'm fine. things have been busy with the two jobs and the err uhm boyfriend thing.* i like the bookstore very much, as i've mentioned, but really...i like it so much. and matt, he is sweet beyond reckoning. it makes my casualness feel very callous, but it doesn't seem to be bothering him...atleast yet. i have made it clear how much i can give and i do that giving until nothing remains for me anymore. one might call this waking up and learning from one's mistakes. it's a positive boundary. but so far i haven't had to worry about investing more than him, because i don't actually think that's possible.
when we had our obligatory conversation about exes, he was vague. i got a number, and a few details. because i didn't really care and i had other stuff on my mind...i didn't press for more details and neither did he. so, here we are. detail-less and i find myself to be his first girlfriend type person. (AHHHHHHHHHHH) that is not a place i want to be. i knew it was all more "important" and "serious" for him than it was for me but i didn't realize the extent and now i'm freaked the hell out. anyone who admits they didn't see this coming from two months ago gets a prize.

*i haven't actually decided this. i'm taking the term for a test drive, if you will. really i think he's my girlfriend. he sends me miss you and love you text messages. his friends think we make a cute couple. but he kills bugs for me, and it's hard to find girlfriend to do that for you.

monday night i met bill kotzwinkle, author of walter:the farting dog, and his very nice wife. i opened the six gazillion books he had to sign. while we sat in the basement of the bookstore. sweating. did i mention the hot. no? probably it was too hot to blog. you know what's too hot in maine? 95 degrees in june is too hot in maine. TOO HOT. it was 95 degrees all weekend and on monday. have you ever seen a cat sweat? she was pissed. but then tuesday, oh tuesday, it dropped to the high forties. and it was cold, nay freezing. and the cat, she was pissed again. geez.
i am excited abut the couch. i am excited about reid's birthday barbecue, where i've been promised jeff will hula wearing a coconut bra. i'm very excited to see holly who'll be on spring break and tentatively excited to see christine, our highschool friend whom i haven't spoken to in years...but who very nicely sent a card two weeks ago.
sara had a family emergency and had to leave monday and tuesday, but praise the lord is back today. i am full of relief and hershey's kisses (because when you tell sara you need 12 pounds of chocolate...she delivers) to have her back again.
did i write about having dinner at matt's parents house? did i mention that my hair is too short and it's making my life hard? is it too much to say that i dreamed about my mom and woke up crying with the cat licking my face?

this is the loveseat sofa that is on it's way to me from phildelphia RIGHT NOW. after holly is canonized, i'm going to buy her dinner. and maybe ice cream. the question now is how to get the sofa from nashvegas to here. mr. matt offered to drive his truck down. i was going to suggest borrowing my mom's car for the week. we'll see. strapping it to the removable roof seems not the brightest idea. but surely if the box can fit in holly's elantra, it can fit in my trunk.
horror of horrors i'm spending the next two days with tia. remember tia? how christlike and serene she is. mary is with the trainees and sara had a family emergency (which is sad but not sad enough for me to not punish her for making me work with jam master t two days in a row). it's a good thing i have a couch to look forward to. an upholstered cushiony light at the end of the tunnel.
last week i got my hair cut. mr. matt came with me to wait, and did the whole babysitting my bag thing...which i rather think he liked. he seems to take great pleasure in being whipped (obligatory cracking of whip sound). he seems to enjoy the "emasculating*" things that boyfriends are required to do to please girlfriends so they'll get blowjobs later.** i, however, do not enjoy many of them. i'm not a hold hands down the street sort of person (unless it's sarah) or IN THE MALL, for god's sake. but i didn't mind letting him sit next to my bag. holly says the ultimate test is if he goes into victoria's secret with you. it would be worth it strictly as an experiment. for analysis. and blog fodder. it'll be like on survivor except it'll be the victoria's secret challenge instead of the swallowing live bugs thing.
sara brought us cannoli. and since tia won't eat anything she can't pronouce...IT'S ALL MINE! it's a beautiful thing.

*i don't really mean this, but...you know what i mean.
**ibid.

holly is at ikea right now sitting on a couch for me. her ass is at my service. i LOVE her.

did y'all know you can order custom condoms. fascinating.

i finished my work week for the bookstore job last night. and i bought a book. but really it's a sequal to pride and prejudice. did anyone think i wouldn't buy it? no? good, we're all in sync. i really love that job, recommending books to wilderness quides sleeping in their cars, talking to the french lady who wanted the book featured on good morning america, the cute englishman with the road maps who said quite un-ironically "it looks like you can't get there from here?".* my new boss seems very impressed with me, and my cashiering skills. "it looks like you've run a cash register before." "yeah, once or twice." i guess there are worse skills to have, like turning tricks or something.
there are atleast 10 things i should be doing, so i'm blogging. i think i'm on sortof a nyquil high. i couldn't sleep for coughing last night, so i took some nyquil. and watched clue. and then i guess i fell asleep. and now i'm drooling all over my new desk. shame.
i have some correspondence to write. i owe alot of letters, i have a list. i might have to go buy stamps soon, which always cheers me up. maybe i'll be crazy and buy stamps BEFORE I RUN OUT. wild thing that i am...

*possibly what he said was more british, but that's exactly how i remember it.

i am enjoying the selling of the books. most of my co-workers are really nice* and there's chocolate under the cash register and we get a %25 discount on stuff. mmm, books! there are already a couple of titles i'm eyeing. a sequel to pride and prejudice called "mr. darcy takes a wife" which sounds like a good time and the new charles todd. i'm very excited about it really. it's perfect. i'm hoping to get to work the midnight friday harry potter party, because i'm a dork. you know really, i have a very serious attachment to books. anyone who went to school with me or ever borrowed a book from me knows this already. i'm anal about a lot of things, but i think the book thing trumps all. but enough about me being anal.
i met sugarcrook himself. very entertaining, scared of the whale with good reason, and hopefully enjoying cookies from morning glory if they weren't stolen off his doorstep**. while we were out i received many tortured texts from matt who was in the paving traffic with the heat on watching his thermostat reach new and exciting levels***.
yesterday i received a very fab box from pinky containing all manner of fun. the new tellers must think we're nuts, but sara and i had a good time throwing the flashing ball at eachother and postulating about the sour gummy hot dogs. i see driftwood figurines in your future pinky!


*it's not really that she's not nice. it's that i got a false impression at my interview. as the boss asked me what i knew about books and authors, i assumed that some book knowledge was a requirement for work in the bookstore...but no. so this lady i worked with last night knows nothing about books or authors and always looks at me like i'm a fool for asking her questions. silly me.
**i didn't realize until after i left him the cookies that maybe it was creepy for an internet acquaintance to leave you baked goods. they could be poisoned. well, ofcourse not but you never know.
***infamous repaving of route 3. just far enough to mean that taking the bayside road doesn't help, just late enough that tourist and employee traffic is on the rise and just hot enough to make sitting in traffic the opposite of comfortable****.
****which reminds me of driving home up 495 in accident traffic and passing a jeep cherokee with some hot and creative members of our armed forces sitting atop it with a cooler. they had cokes. it would have been a truly awesome comercial, except for the burnt out camry a mile up the road.

I'm back at work and i got a promotion! not really. there are new tellers training at my station so i'm doing my nothing at a desk rather than at a teller station. and i had tastykakes for breakfast. not that this has any bearing because i wasn't even sitting at my desk when i ate my tastykakes. i'm here at my desk, as temporary customer service representative, all week or until the trainee tellers move on. i have some correspondence and some bills to pay. although if i do it out here it will be more obvious that i'm not actually working. i don't want our two customers to think i'm not dedicated to serving them.
while i was away my car registration became suspended, my netflix watched and returned itself, and the kitty got really fat. the first one i've taken care of, the second i really don't understand, and i guess it doesn't really matter that kitty got fat, now we can both shop at lane bryant.