sarah is the reason i have to think about dead puppies at work so i won't bust out laughing while counting back change. since she's all like, in transit, she's not blogging. and so i searched her archives and this is the funny ass entry i found...

"Well, good friends, it was almost time to take out your best black attire, bake a casserole, and head on over to Massachusetts to bid a fond farewell to your hetero-life-mate, Sarah: true friend, brilliant scholar, and sexy, sexy private dancer. You've had it happen before; you're minding your own business, reading or watching tv, when you start choking for no other reason except that you breathed in. Last night I was chewing gum, (and doing other things--I'm a multi-tasker) when I began to choke. Not on the gum, but on the startling minty-fresh flavor coming out of it. I coughed, and coughed, and coughed a little more, but every time I coughed my throat closed and I swallowed air. It was like a vicious cycle--coughing would cause me to swallow air, which would cause me to cough--you get the idea. So there I was in the kitchen, gum in my hand, my mom pounding on my back, not really breathing, wondering if this hell would ever end. Finally I was able to stop and get the air out, which came out as a burp. My mom laughed, hopefully out of relief that I was okay and not because gas is funny, which, I have to admit, it almost always is. The rest of the night every time I coughed I tasted Wrigley's spearmint.

Okay, so I really didn't think my life was in danger at any point. But I did think I was going to throw up, completely wasting the mulit-vitamin that I had with dinner, and that, my friends, would have been a tragedy."

how weird is it that i tape phone numbers to the cell phone? mary couldn't draw breath from the laughing. it made sense at the time.

i am officially completely unpacked. i even built the futon. so i should get a call that the house has been sold any day now. it is nice to pretend at permanence anyway. but i didn't find all the things i thought i'd find when i unpacked. maybe next time.
it was a lovely warm weekend. which was good because the heater broke. but it's fixed now and no one froze to death so we won't dwell. it did give me the chance to browse around walmart for an hour or so sunday morning. the alternatives were church or freezing, the rare case of walmart being the lesser evil. i surveyed all the wares, they even had purses like pinky's except not cool. i procured some things with which to wash the floor and drooled over the new and shiny vacuums.
luckily i used up all my shopping energy on saturday at tj maxx with a store credit. i bought a whole slew of indulgent kitchen stuff. including pink bowls from the valentines display. because the food tastes better if the bowls are pretty. fact.
so you can see what a busy weekend it was and how i really had no time at all for law and banking: principles, the course. gripping as it is.

mary is the best. you know why? i'll tell you. she came to get me this morning. you know why? i'll tell you. my battery was dead. do we know how much that sucks? lots. all of my neighbors were gone by then and there was no one to get a jump from. mary said we can do it when she drops me off. she's so great. otherwise i'd call AAA and hope it isn't mr. car guy customer who is on duty to see my incapableness.
you know what's weird, i was just thinking last night "gee, i haven't set anything on fire in weeks i wonder what catastrophe awaits" and look. no more waiting. it's like christmas.
it's supposed to warm up next week and the folks accross the street are very excited. california sean and south carolina kay are just about done with the coldness. last night they were unloading 160 bikes. which kay said was a relief since it was supposed to be 260. sean has been paying very careful attention to the snowfall this year. he reports we've had a whole foot more than usual for this time of year and he's flabbergasted by it. he must be from southern california, and not where they got the 16 feet because it really seems to hurt his feelings...all this snow.

so uhh when you put quizzes and memes into google, you get this! err, hi jen. i'm making use of your quiz, hope you don't mind.

"if this bitch is so consumed by her privacy, what's up with the damn intimate detail quizzes?" says to self, about self and to that i say "i don't f'ing know, if one could put thoughtful motives behind all of ones actions there'd be no mystery in this life. and also i'm bored."

Three Names You Go By:
1. amy
2. amers
3. chuchie (only emily calls me this)


Three Things You Like About Yourself:
1. my optimism (i think i'm optomistic)
2. my ability to surprise myself
3. that i can be alone and be ok


Three Things You Dislike About Yourself:
1. i am not very trusting
2. i don't usually ask for help when i need it
3. i apologize for things that are beyond my control

Three Parts of Your Heritage:
1. scottish
2. french-canadian
3. irish

Three Things That Scare You:
1. ghosties in my apartment
2. christopher walkin, even when he plays a nice character
3. knowing all the words to the country cat song

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. tea
2. hair products
3. pink pens

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. hood sweatshirt...as in sweatshirt that says hood.
2. hood ring
3. ultra femme pink watch amymas made me buy

Three of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment):
1. melissa ferrick
2. mercy creek
3. dave matthews

Three of Your Favorite Songs at Present:
1. almost-mercy creek
2. madam i'm a darlin'-tinsmith
3. north carolina-melissa ferrick

Three New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months:
1. going to a classical concert
2. making stained glass
3. volunteering to teach a class in civil war history

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given):
1. laughter
2. equality
3. small kindnesses

Two Truths and a Lie:
1. i once held a stuffed rabbit for ransom
2. i once pawned my watch to get a car out of the clink
3. i once gave someone parking in the bank lot the finger

Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex (or same) That Appeal to You:
1. smile
2. hands
3. eyes

Three Things You Just Can't Do Without :
1. my fur family
2. hooded sweatshirts
3. stationary

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. compulsive reading
2. hanging and re-hanging all the pictures in my house
3. printing and making pretty things

Three Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now:
1. pick up my pictures from rite aid
2. quit my job and move to md
3. order the new melissa ferrick live album (car:music, car:music...)

Three Careers You've Considered:
1. museum curator
2. interior designer
3. massage therapist

Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
1. niagara falls
2. quebec city
3. mexico

Three Kids Names:
1. grace
2. reid
3. lucy (if reid had been a girl)

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. unpack completely and for the last time
2. go back to school for something i really like
3. visit christine in japan

i've sort of been thinking lately about privacy and blogs and public masks and all sorts of deep things. someone asked me about my blog and if they could read it or if it is too private. and no, i don't want them to read it, but i don't really see how i could stop them. i don't give real life folks the url unless i want them in my audience, but it's not exactly hard to find. i think they were hoping for deep dark secrets. or something. i might discuss my house and my job but the only really personal thing i talk about here is my mom's illness. it felt sort of like a dare, if it's so private why do you post it on the internet? and that is true, which is why i don't post about private things. the content here is driven by the desire to keep up with my friends from school and reminisce about things like caution cone curling and international bed diving. so it's more virtual alter to my asshole college behavior than it is a journal of my private thoughts. so, err, just to clarify: this blog is not private. not in the sense that my soul lies here and there is no truth to the rest of my life.
this blog is not a very good representation of who i am or what i'm like in person or of everything that i do or think. and i believe that's why i do not wish person x to read it. take for example dennis. i mock him here a whole lot less than i mock him in person and everything i have said about him is true and not unkind (he is cute, he is conservative, he did compare my words to bush's on one occasion) but i would freak the hell out if he left a comment one day. or take say, holly. she knows i have a blog, and she knows she sometimes comes up here, but she doesn't read it. she read it a few times but she said it's not the me she knows. it's not even the me she thinks is funny. how's that for honesty, the bitch. (that's ok because she doesn't read this) so, the short of this very long dialogue is...reads back to recall original point...that while the blog is not private, the blogger is. intensely so. it's not that i would say something here that i wouldn't in real life. but in real life you don't get to script every situation. in real life there are appearances to maintain and feelings to consider. so, if you who asked me for this url has found the blog, i bear you no ill will. props for your googling skills. you found me whether i like it or not.

gee that ended sort of grrry. it really wasn't meant to be grrry. maybe some of you other bloggers will get what i mean. it's just a blog.

maam, why did you give me $300 in cash to pay your mortgage and then take out $300 from your savings in cash. and when i asked how you'd like the bills you said "anything" and then ask for 100's when i give you 20's. and then, grrr and then..., why did you give me back the hundreds for money orders which would have been free from the savings. why why why did you do this to me?
i should mention that she did that super gross licking of the fingers thing before handing me the $300 which predisposed me to loathe her. if she hadn't done the finger licking thing i might have waived the fees for the money orders, maybe. licking your fingers and then handing me money is like licking me. and generally, i don't let strangers lick me. it's un-hygienic.

gee, maybe i've only been torturing myself about the ken burns thing and not everyone else. let us go back in time to say, oh, may 2003. dick and mimi(kind and persistent old employers) have been trying to convince me to send a resume to mimi's cousin who works for ken burns since graduation and uhh, i just did it yesterday. remember that time i turned in that mid-term 5 weeks late. it's sort of like that. and i still graduated, so maybe it'll turn out ok. it's harder than one would think to recommend yourself for a job that you have no information about.
no one here seems to know who he is or what he does, except matt, so i don't know if the filmmaker angle will help me with the chicks, but i'm not too proud to try ;).
sarah i did find your bachelor lobstermen calendar this morning. i'll have to mail it to you. i should get to it by 2007, if the guilt doesn't slow it down. (not as funny as the weight of your bitterness, rats!)

heaven help me, i have mailed the ken burns resume.

oh my. as matt can attest it has been a big day for banking. that was just one of many err hiccups in operations today. i've been hitting the sauce hard, two cups of tea this morning. and mary had to make coffee. to calm her frayed nerves. if the main office doesn't stop f-ing up i think she's gonna implode.

i am in a very good mood today. my mom called me last night and was very much her old self. she even asked how much my building would cost for her to buy it. that's almost shopping, and that's how you know my mom is ok.
i spent most of last week pretty sure that every call from home was going to tell me that mom was in the hospital, or had fallen again, or worse. when i saw her last she couldn't get out of bed on her own and the one time she was out of bed she fell and we had to carry her back to her bed. my dad was waiting on her hand and foot. desperately trying to think of things to cook for her that she could eat. it was completely heartbreaking and just so sweet i couldn't take it.
and so last week, while i was very happy to have a sarah(which incidentally i still do) and it was a very good week, my mind has been filled with the thought of my mom dying. but now that she's shopping again, i can return to my blaise self and think about things like why no one says whilst anymore when it's such a cool word.

1. What is your name? amy
2. Pet's names? mrs. whatsit and the sad nameless kitty
3. What are you listening to right now? that aerosmith song from that liv tyler movie, this was our prom song and i can't remember the title at all...
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? 15, why does the internet care?
5. What was the last thing you ate? a tiny candy cane, we still have like two pounds
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? pink, glittery if possible
7. How is the weather right now? f'ing cold, but the sky is very clear and blue
8. Last person you talked to on the phone? someone asking for chris, rudely
9. The first thing you notice about (wo)men? smile or lack there of
10. Favorite Food? mee pud, mmm thai
11. Favorite Drink? raspberry iced tea, which is ironic because i really don't like raspberries
12. Favorite Alcoholic drink? err, that peach scnapps al gave me at the employee party was good
13. Favorite place to shop? maryland, or the limited
14. Hair Color? semi-sweet chocolate, according to the box
15. Eye Color? blueish
16. Do you wear contacts? glasses
17. Favorite Movie? pride and prejudice which is not actually a movie
18. Favorite Month? uhm, june when amy and kirsten and i take our crazy vacation
19. Favorite Fast Food? subway i guess
20. Last Movie you watched? Scotland, PA with sarah last night. "uhhh...rock block"
21. Favorite Day of the Year? err, is that important?
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? probably
23. Summer or Winter? fall
24. Hugs or Kisses? hugs
25. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, there is no other answer
26. these questions were removed to save the quiz more embarrassment than necessary
27. it was a good semaritan thing to do, i'm sure you understand
28. it had to be done
29. What's the last thing you bought? sarah's bachelor lobstermen of maine calendar, as she forgot her wallet.
30. What books are you reading? The Russians(Hedrick Smith) and Perils of Prosperity (leuchtenberg)
31. What's on your mouse pad? Clarke American slogan, they make our checks
32. Favorite Board Game? trivial pursuit, i wanted to say scattergories but there is no board
33. What did you do last night? made waffles for dinner, went to walmart, mardens and bookstore, sang i'm ready for love to kitty
34. What song lyric describes your life lately?
i got friends all over this country
i got friends in other countries too
i got friends i haven't met yet
i got friends i never knew
i got lovers whose eyes
i've only seen at a glance
i got strangers for great grandchildren
i got strangers for ancestors

i was a long time coming
i'll be a long time gone
you've got your whole life to do something
and that's not very long
so why don't you give me a call
when you're willing to fight
for what you think is real
for what you think is right

35. Who inspires you? err, dick and mimi i guess for making me take this career jump
36. Butter, Plain, or salted popcorn? butter, salt, we're all gonna die some day
38. Favorite Flower? gerber daisies
39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M? usually i say hi to kitty
40. Do you still talk to your best friend from middle school? almost daily
41. What's on your desk? bamboo, pirate ship, colored pencils, too many books, coin tray
42. Rock Concert or Symphony? i think right now a symphony would be the newer experience to choose
43. Play or Opera? Play
44. Have you ever fired a gun? no
45. Do you like to travel by plane? i don't mind it, i'd do it more if i had the funds
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? write with my right, open bottles with left(not that this is very effective)
47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter? smooth, i've never liked chunky
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2, and one for kitty
49. City and State you were born in? nashua, NH
50. Ever hitchhiked? no, i watch too many of those real crime shows so i equate kitching with imminent death on the side of a kentucky highway

damn, poor raleigh. that's a whole lot of trouble for one inch of snow. our downeast branches closed early yesterday, but not us. it was actually rather ridiculous that they closed because the state police asked people to stay off the roads so they could plow. and what do they do, close and go home. that is exactly the opposite of staying off the roads(note the subtle tones of bitterness that we didn't get to close. as i had predicted we saw about 8 people yesterday, all of whom live or work within sight of the bank. it was a very long day. and then sarah and i went to marden's. discount shopping for everyone in your family. and mr. paperback where i almost got a tiny sand garden for my little eastern meditation area on my desk but i decided i was too poor. they have a tiny water garden with pump too, for the relaxing sounds of water throughout the workday. i love tiny stuff. tiny stuff is the best.

there is a whole lot of snow out there, and it's still snowing. the driveway wasn't plowed so i had to sort of roll out with no gas, but if i was honest i would say that the driving wasn't that bad. i did keep hoping that mary would call me on the way and say we were closed. but alas, no. we're here and we'll be stretching the boundaries of boredom. we're taking bets on when chris will call and say he's not coming. mary thinks 9:30, i say 10:00. i think he'll want to leave some time to make us think he's really trying hard to get out of his driveway while he's really sipping cocoa and petting his dog by the fire and laughing jolly-ly at our sorry asses who got here on time. wish me luck!

what are the odds that in every apartment i move to one of my neighbors makes police beat? well actually, this guy didn't make police beat, because the local paper hasn't come out yet. he got a full article in the bangor daily. tsk tsk. poor sod drove his truck into a parked car on rte 3, he got pulled over because the vehicle was all crumpled and steaming, and possibly because he was a little drunk. it turns out the truck could only turn right and he was trying to figure out how to get home making only right turns. i wonder when he gets out of jail?
sarah and i saw finding neverland last night at reel pizza and it was very good. and not just because we got the best couch. it was a very sweet movie.

the good news is that i am home, and i have a sarah. she says the apartment is ginormous. and it certainly is compared to the previous. the bad news is that while is was in NH i received a call from the new landlord and they're putting the house on the market. for the love of god. atleast i don't have a lease. it just adds insult to injury.
the new car does indeed feel just like you're driving a go cart. it's very easy to drive. it does not have air conditioning, but then it's a convertible. it does not have a cd player, but it does have a tape player and really that's a step up. i do not have it with me because my father is convinced i will kill myself trying to drive it in the snow. and frankly he has enough to worry about without waiting for me to stall out in front of a snow plow or something. which really, would suck.
i keep forgetting that i can't call sarah at home. i left her a note and some coins for the payphone next door, but it's really sort of cold out today. i think mary said -1 with a windchill of -20. i'm trying to think of things to do tonight that would be fun, but won't require being out in the brrry brrryness. there's always bowling.

my new favorite song is on the radio. i affectionately call it the cat song. it's a very sappy, passive aggressive country song about a guy who's girlfriend broke up with him, and even though he feels a whole lot better, he still wants her to take her cat and leave his sweater, because they have nothing left to weather, and anyway he feels a whole lot better, but she'll still think of him. it's really been a culturally broadening experience to listen to all this country. one hopes that my sister's car is all registered and ready to go and sarah and i won't have to listen to the cat song on our way north.
i should mention that it is damn windy today. mary said it was wind like in the bible. but she couldn't remember a bible wind story she just thought it sounded good. so it's god's wind that's trying to break through our windows. we're hoping the power will go out. so we can go home. but the flickering stopped and hope is waning. damn.

questions that annoy me because i am a prickly bitch type person:

"can i make this loan payment?" what am i gonna say, no. really folks.

"how are you?" from one of the people who work nextdoor as i am obviously heading to the bathroom. "well i have to pee and check my hair because i think during the racking boredom i might have pulled some out, you?"

"are you open?" if we weren't open, would i be answering the phone?

what with the network dying every twenty minutes yesterday, it was difficult to do the whole posting thing. so i spent the day cleaning my station ie: testing all my pens to make sure they work and spraying the canned air inside my mouse. with no customers and no internet there is no limit to the boredness, it takes up every bit of space, saturates every molecule with the essence of bore.
kitty and i are preparing for the visit of sarah, this weekend. woot woot. i am preparing by looking around the house going...hmm i should clean that. and kitty is preparing by knawing on every object in sight (see what you have to look forward to sarah? you're her favorite thing to bite!). i swear she's a dog. are cats supposed to chew things? it's weird.

mary and i got the news that we earned our bonus and she also told me i'm getting a raise. good deal. and even better i just finished one of my bank classes, which is a blessing in itself. we're expecting a bit of snow later and then it's supposed to be in the 50's tomorrow. maine is so weird.
our computers keep crashing so i'll be back later!

just because i've had a month to unpack, that doesn't necessarily mean i should be all unpacked right? there are a few assorted randomly packed boxes in my kitchen and shed (i have a shed, a real shed! i still can't get over it) that i haven't gotten to. the contents of these range from stuffed care bears to my binoculars case and the cup thing that holds my toothbrush. the contents do not seem to include the 20 cans of cat food that i know i owned, and moved. i distinctly remember packing them...but in what? i know that my chances of finding the cat food improve if i just unpack and put away all the random crap but that would involve...like...effort. and since i'm working on my blackbelt in sloth, i don't think it's going to happen.
despite the sloth thing, i've been doing a bit of shopping. i discovered the coolest thing, the gap clearance section is completely stock full of my size. here and in md. my size, everywhere, on clearance, and it's cute stuff too. this is where the heavens open and the angels start singing. you know you need a mall intervention when you start equivocating the gap with the pearly gates.

the package arrived today. the one from my mother. the one with the clothes. from j. jill. and whoa, i know i should have been ready but i just wasn't. there was lilac, there was crushed velvet. there was too much embroidery and there were bell sleeves. and even worse, 2 items are on back order.

the man compared my arguments in support of the aclu to bush's arguments in support of the war. mmmphf grrr hmph.

i just opened my all too frequent afternoon bottle of coke and i felt all the bubbles through the plastic. that was the coolest. with this new found thrill i expect to be fully diabetic by tuesday. oooh, bubbles.

and also, with the possible car switch coming up, i've been googling honda alot. and whoa, those honda people are serious...about...the...hondas. damn, i mean, really serious. which i suppose i should take as a sign that i will like this car so much that i will want to pimp it into oblivion and spend my evenings wiping it with a diaper. most of the posts i read i didn't understand. words like vtec and roll bar and you know, car things that i don't really understand even if sometimes i do date women. some of it is a little scary, or well, you be the judge:
easier to park than a golf cart, handles like a go cart, big trucks can't always see you but the car is fast enough to get out of their way.
what do we think, scary? i'm not sure. i should mention that those were all meant to be pro comments. the nae comments were very far and few between and always the driver loved the car soooo much that they didn't care that they couldn't use the cup holder (err). i don't know why i'm all of a sudden nervous. if i don't like it, i'm sure my dad won't take me to small claims court. well, reasonably sure. he does want it out of the driveway pretty bad. i do feel sort of like i'm joining a club, or marrying into the big fat greek family of car owners. i promise i will never have HONDA stenciled on my windshield, no matter how much i love this car.

it's snowing and it's sunny. you know what's next, locusts.

you wanna know a secret. most of the things i blog, are things that i say to myself all day. all day long. and sometimes i giggle. so i've been murmuring about locusts to myself all day. or, as many hours as there have been of today. it sometimes amazes me that i am employed. and speaking of employment, i have to plan my vacation schedule. how much does that suck? how do i know if i need the third monday in june off on january 7th. i don't know, but i think i better take it because otherwise i'll miss that really important appointment i haven't made yet. arghh grrr mmmphf.
when i was in MD kirsten made the best observation. we were arguing, or rather she was arguing, with mr. verizon guy at the mall about her phone, which was not made to be talked on and is now broken but can not be replaced because it's not february. (kirsten "if there is tangible evil in this world, it is verizon") and so anyway, we worked something out that she can use the icky headset that makes it look like you're talking to yourself until february to save hundreds of dollars even though she was not a happy kirsten. (wow, there's alot of lead in to this...) ok and then as were leaving she says "you know why older people walk around mumbling and mphfing to themselves all the time...they've had to have hundreds of conversations just like that. when we're fifty that's all we'll be able to say. i'll call you and just say "mphf. grrr. roar. mphfhhhhhh." and you'll know exactly what i mean."
she also said that if we all stopped fighting that the world would be the best thing in the whole...uhh...world. which is almost as good as "you gotta breath like your life depends on it". so really, kirsten should be writing this blog.

so uhh, yeah, blogging. i've been having a spectacularly confusing conversation with dennis about, well, everything. mostly about whether or not the salvation army is as evil as the aclu. hard call. but really, it's enlightening. apparently most of the women he knows are liberals. and we all think the same way. funny that.

the good news from home is that my dad is very willing to let me have christine's car for a price yet to be determined. the bad news, which really should be good news, is that my mom has ordered me a christmas present. clothes. from a catalog. mmm. yeah. there are so many things wrong with that. so many. so many that i can't even fit them in my mind to blog about them all. she said it was a coat, and a jacket. atleast it's not an outfit. i should be grateful for that. it's not a purple velour pantsuit (she attempted to give me same 3 visits ago) and it's not a peasant skirt ensemble priced in the 100's (attempted to give me on christmas). a coat and a jacket might be reasonable. atleast i can return them. err. (life sucks: receives christmas presents)
selfish whiner=me

a man came in yesterday wearing a umd terps hat. which is surprisingly rare in bar harbor. so when i was processing his deposit i said "go terps" and he said "what" and i said "the terps. your hat." and he said "oh, i just like turtles". sigh. how does one accidentally acquire a maryland terrapins hat. i just don't know.

i had an inspirational idea yesterday about the car thing. i was looking at the honda civics online and then i remembered there's one in my parents drive way. that is my sisters. that hasn't been driven in, well, years. so obviously it will need some work, like say brakes that aren't disintegrated, but i bet my dad won't mind too much if it's out of his driveway. in some ways though, it's more nerve-wracking talking to my parents about it than talking to a dealer. my parents will say "your car is fine" and i'll say the seat belt stopped working. and they'll say "we'll get it fixed" and i'll say "the doors don't stay closed" and they'll say "that's just the cold". and then i'll say it's a drain on my soul and they'll say but it's so good on gas. but it's my soul. my soul, man. draining.
i guess at that point i can always just go to mr. toyota guy. he'll understand about my soul. he'll understand anything i want if i sign the right papers. good man, mr. toyota.
so i'm going to talk to my sister about it. not the one who owns the car. because we don't have her phone number. rather the one who converses with the parents on a daily basis. and then we'll see.

and also, if anyone knows how i made the type on my screen big enough for those satellites revolving mars to read could you let me know how to fix it? it's making my life hard. thanks.

how do i explain the big tube of Preparation H in my mailbox? i guess i have to tell the hemorrhoid story. the one i've been avoiding telling because of the wanton referrals that are bound to show up, but who can resist a hemorrhoid story?

this isn't usual for the blog but i'd like it if we all assumed a dreamy flashback feeling just now as i take us back two weeks ago to christmas eve. as we remember i spent five hours in the car to arrive at my parents' psychologically traumatizing family christmas party. my sister invited me to sit with her and i said "i'd rather stand, i've been sitting all day". the party goes on and on and on and she asks me to sit down again and her boyfriend jeff rises to offer me his seat but before he gets completely up emily pushes him back down and says "oh yeah, you can't sit". so jeff asks why i can't sit and emily tells him, but he's a little bit deaf and he doesn't hear her. so when he asks again, naturally, emily says "it's her hemorrhoids, she's getting an operation, we don't want everyone to know". and jeff says "oh, sorry" and we have a conversation about how he can get me discount Preparation H because he works at a pharmacy and how the operation will change my life, and so on. and then as they were leaving jeff said he hoped everything would go well, and i said "huh" and he said "you know" and i said "what" and he said "uhh, oh, ok, see you tomorrow" and i looked confused. and then in the car he asked emily if i was ok and when the operation was. i knew she was kidding, she knew she was kidding, jeff did not know she was kidding. and so now, i'll be getting discount boxes of preparation H in the mail forever because emily makes him buy it for me to amuse her.

this is supposed to be the time of resolutions and recounting the highlights of the past year, but i don't think i'll be doing that. i don't really want to relive the last year. the cancer, the natural disasters, the still being at this job that has nothing to do with my education. recounting the past year would be depressing. and this year is going to be all about looking forward and being positive. i've actually put some resumes into the mid-atlantic region. there's one job in west virginia that might actually be cool. if i can live here, i can live in WV and it's really close to Frederick. Holly said she would consider moving to MD if i was there, and that's definitely a positive thing for the new year.
my sister would really like me to move closer to home. she suggested vermont, so she could go to the ben and jerry's factory when they visited me. i wonder how holly feels about vermont, she likes ice cream. mmm, vermont.
my sister also said that a golf is not a good idea for a new car. apparently her jetta is the root of all evil (pinky cringes here) and she just never mentioned it before. it seems that it's not big things that go wrong, it's a host of small annoying things. sort of like what's happening to my car, only mine is ten years old. this weekend i discovered that the passenger seat belt doesn't actually work anymore. i'm pretty sure that's illegal in maine, to not be belted, so i'll hope to not get caught.
i have the feeling car will be replaced by a corolla. safe, dependable yes, sexy no. *tear*