i've been hearing weird christmas special music in my head ever since christmas eve. reid must have watched every special that was on. the best one was called grandma got ran over by a reindeer. in that one there was a money grubbing grand-daughter who sings this song "grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of santa" and she's dressed like a hula girl and the back up singer is saying "no pantalones" at regular intervals. kids shows are hilarious.
reid really liked his train game and his bubble gum machine and especially the remote control dinosaur from his big sister. i bought clothes for grace and rory, little matching sweater sets with matching hats. it seems that hats are grace's favorite clothing and she wore it all night. so cute.
rory is huge and wiggly and she squeaks. and all of her clothes are pink. reid was happy to open her presents for her, but was a little bored with all the clothes and no toys.
we went shopping christmas eve and the day after christmas and there was no one else out. it was really weird. i had to get a few last minutes presents and then to check out the bargains. i got a lot of stuff 50% off. picture frames, kitchen towels, cookie mix. things i wouldn't consider christmas seasonal but what do i know. we also bought a stock pot to make huge batches of spaghetti sauce and soup. the best part is that one pot full of soup will use up a whole lot of ingredients from under the cupboard. pretty much the stuff will go from cupboard to freezer, but at least it can feel it's part of a greater whole and not just a lonely can of beans. did i mention that it's sara and i all week trapped in the bank like veal?
i had a bunch of bank things to do earlier in the week, but now there is nothing. and we are bored. it is however 50 degrees out. on dec. 29. so obviously we're in the end times and we've decided to spend most of our time shopping online. because when the world ends, and soon, who'll care how much we owe the gap? it's a beautiful plan.

the cut and dry fudge recipe* i had planned to make for my dad for christmas didn't work out so good. it's a good thing i know the folks at the liquor store because if you don't know the folks at the liquor store it's bad to call at 8:30 AM and say "i'm having a liquor emergency!". becky helped me pick a really nice blueberry wine for my dad. to go in his wine fridge. i'm very relieved. especially because it was cheap. and maine-y.
we're leaving today, instead of tomorrow, to avoid snow so next time i post there will be cute baby pictures. it's so exciting.
happy holidays all!


*the one i've made three times in the last month that all worked perfectly

so, it's boring as hell here today and i've spent the whole day looking at baby gap and carters and the old navy baby section. and also, i opened my big mouth over at the circumcision debate of 2005 over at http:betweenthelakes.com. because i am an idiot. there's this whole horrible and to some painful discussion going on about circumcision, to do it or not, to support friends that choose it or not, and on and on. so, foolishly, i related that i know someone who was circumsized at age 16 to prevent more infections and it was fucking awful (i left that part out, so as not to stir further controversy, ha) and so i just said that sometimes it's necessary. and whoa, was that stupid*. apparently it was because the doctor couldn't treat it properly so they had to cut it off (so i was told, damn). would he be a healthier individual if they'd cut it off when he was a baby? i don't know. but he wouldn't have had to explain to anyone why he was absent from school or couldn't participate in gym, which you can't blame a teenager for feeling fucked up about no matter how an adult looking back might view it.
so yeah, circumcisions. i don't know shit, i'm sure, but i had believed the practice was to protect baby boys from infection and became a religious and cultural practice from there. people make all kinds of choices for their children and i just don't see how you can call circumcision child harm. but half of them think i'm wrong...and sweet jesus, the comments. it's war over there. i really wonder if it's the stress of the season or circumcision has always been a hotbed issue and i just never knew. those people are vicious. there have to be more important things to get all upset about. there are like wars raging and children with no coats and mittens. surely there are more pressing matters.



*remember that time i said children should play with matches and lighter fluid** over at pinky's blog. it was just like that.
**except that's not what i said at all.

Oh miss sarah! thank you for the adorably wrapped christmas presents. the chairman will be so happy. she's a catnip junkie* i re-ribboned the box just so i can look at it and smile. you're the sweetest.
i have to find out exactly what size Rory needs. i want to buy every outfit i see online and that's just not rational. fortunately matt's coming with me to exchange the denim jumper, and there's no way he'll let me buy the whole department no matter how agreeable he is.

*you remember that mouse i said she ate. well, i figured i'd find it when i moved the couch and i didn't...she really did eat it...errr

i need one person who's not an idiot to want to buy my car. the latest one wants me to drive it out to new york so her mechanic can check it out.* and also, she's dismayed that such a hard to find car is often overpriced. that's what they call supply and demand.** also she wants an Si. the Vtec is the top of the line, the Si is the middle. what does the Si have that the Vtec doesn't? (insert pirate growl here)

so, fat babies. i'm planning to return the baby clothes i bought for Rory for christmas. she's not going to be in 3 month clothes for very long, so i'm going to trade up. cute fat babies. i was planning on having pictures today, but i left the disc at home so i might start off with fat baby pictures on tuesday.
nine pounds eleven ounces. god i hope she had drugs. LOTS OF THEM. i'm never doing that. if i feel the need to parent in the future i'll get a beagle and dress it up on holidays. and i won't have to pay for college. it's fool proof.
holly cooked a first dinner for her boyfriend last night and i can't wait to hear how it turns out. i was shouting a chocolate mousse recipe over the phone in the back room last night and i'm hoping it came out well. i can't stand the suspense.

*no comment needed, but i did tell her if she made a non-refundable deposit i'd drive it out to her and she could have it looked over. maybe a 1000?
**mine actually isn't over priced, it's the nada suggested price for model, mileage and condition.

it's about 11 degrees here today. brrrrr. i wish i had my mittens but they're in the other car. i might walk down to cadillac and check out their mitten selection. winter porn.
i finished the christmas baking last night, and from scratch even. i've been using matt's betty crocker and the cookie recipes have been really good. two kinds of fat. excellent. i made arrangements for mary and sara and matt's family*. they're mostly chocolate, or well all chocolate. it's a very rich and chocolatey christmas. but i figure everyone else makes shortbread or sugar or snickerdoodles so chocolate is a change. i'm anxious to hear how the magnolia bakery cupcakes pinky is making come out. they look so adorable on tv. and yummy.

*for every beautiful tray of food a pair of hands has been all over it.

it's a baby! at 9.11...natural. for the love of god. everyone's fine and my father is so excited. more later!

emily: "i feel like a beached whale"
amy: "maybe someone will come along and push you back into the ocean"
emily: "jeff is throwing wet towels over me in the meantime"

emily is being induced today. and then they're going to do a c-section. dear god, the baby is 9.5 pounds with a variance of up to 18 oz either way. apparently it can dislocate the baby's shoulders to do normal birth with such a big baby, but it sucks for emily. she says she'll be glad to have the baby born and i can't blame her.
i've been really lax in my holiday baking, as i only have one type of cookie baked. shame. i keep forgetting that christmas is this weekend. i keep asking matt what his plans are for saturday and he's like, uhm christmas? oh yeah...
i called cingular yesterday to change my text messaging plan. the lady i spoke with was in arkansas and she was full of questions about maine. particularly the weather. i was talking to her at about 3 and the sun was just setting. i don't think she believed me. however the solstice is coming. thanks be to god the days will get longer again.

i called today about teaching adult education. i called a little too late to teach this spring, but she asked me to email her about next fall. which is a long time away. but it could still be really cool and i could make so money. am i a moron to be excited about standing in front of a room of people and have to talk?

so, it's not first thing in the morning but it is pretty early. it's snowing, though only flurries. but the library isn't open on mondays so we'll try for photos tomorrow. the news of the hour is my new bed. it's very exciting. matt and his brother delivered it yesterday. nate thinks i should have bought a frame as it's on my father's tab. truly, i didn't even consider buying a frame. that's how classy i am. the mattress and box-spring on the floor is a step up. it's like having a real bedroom in a real grown-up apartment.
yesterday was very much like playing house for me. i was simmering spaghetti sauce* and baking cookies** when the menfolk arrived with the heavy stuff. except for the part when i fell in the heating vent. just the one leg so no need to worry. just a reminder that indeed, i will never be a grown-up. grown-ups don't step into huge holes and break hundred year old houses. not traditionally anyway.
the new bed is really soft, but firm. and high. eee gads with the high. matt is going to put together a temporary frame, so the vent i fell in will get some circulation and it'll be even higher. and then he's going to build me a bed. i've requested shaker style which pleased him because apparently it's very easy. so he'll have plenty of time to pray and shake and invent selling seeds in packets.*** he even has the trees he's going to cut to build the bed all planned out. he couldn't be any more maine. he just couldn't.


*when you use fresh tomatoes it seems you can't add too much sugar. i thought i added too much but i was wrong. you can't add too much.
**sarah should note that matt is ups-ing you cookies as i type so you should have them sooner than ye olde poste officee (it seems you can't add too many e's to pretend old style british spelling either!).
***genuine fact.

i received confirmation about my raise yesterday, and it's generous, so i'm putting a halt to the resume sending for the moment. if i'm offered an interview for the really great opportunity, i will take it and fret constantly about it and then over analyze my performance. at least this time i won't be buying a new answering machine to make sure i haven't missed their call. it's good for my neurosis that i don't have a land line. really.
i texted matt the details of my raise, and he worked out the yearly math. if i didn't know better that would freak me out. matt was relieved because his boss had said that he would tell everyone he knew to pull their accounts if i had to leave. i'm glad we don't have to go through all that.
i'm hoping some of the money conversations will stop now. they're not all bad, some of them are about us living together and that's not so bad. no rent! but it's no fun talking about how poor we are, any more than it is to read about it all the time. :(
in other news i've decided to make an effort to add pictures to this here blog. one, because it really is beautiful here in the winter. two, because i think this is going to be a good year to document the apocolyptic snow. and three, because i need a reason to get my ass out of the bank at lunch and walking my ass to the library to upload pictures seems as good as any.

i was awoken at the ungodly hour of almost 10:45 last night by a call for the honda. he said he just heard about it*. he was asking me about it and was really upset that it didn't have air conditioning** he also told me i'd never get what i wanted for it. until i told him i had equivalent offers out of state. and then he offered to trade for it. so he wants it, but not enough to actually pay for it. it was a little strange, but then i was asleep. he offered a 99 ford ranger as a trade. according to matt the 99 ranger is junk, so that's a no deal. maybe we'll see how high he'll go for cash. he said he's driving a red automatic with air so probably he has no idea what he's talking about.
the bulk of my evening was spent going through my closet. grace and reid are going to be getting a whole bunch of stuffed animals. and chairman meow has a new place to hide from the realty agent. i've been cleaning quite a bit lately. it helps me escape reality. in reality i sent a resume to a really great possibility in town for ten grand more than i make now. i'm trying really hard to pretend that it's not a possibility until i get a call. trying realllllly hard. when i told matt about it his eyes almost fell out of his head. it would be great. and now i'm going to get back to the classifieds and try to forget about this great opportunity until the phone rings.


*see how bad he wanted it, he called me on a weekday at 10:45...read desperation (or maybe he's just an asshole)
**firstly, you live in fucking maine. granted if you drive to rhode island in august you will feel like you are being cooked slowly like a pig with an apple in it's mouth(unless you take the top off and go route one) but mainers rarely cross the state line so that's not a big deal. secondly, and this part pisses me off just a little, a/c slows these cars down and who the fuck wants that? clearly he doesn't know shit about del sols because no one wants one with air conditioning.

i've been tryig to resurrect my patterns from when i used to blog every day. and you know what, i used to do it bright and early in the morning. before reading everyone else's blog and getting all complacent. so here i am.
i've been busy sending off resumes and worrying about my future. nothing new there. there's been no word on the raise and i really can't operate like this anymore. if i was a business i'd be closed and vacant with tumbleweeds blowing around. i am beginning to resent that i'm important one day and not the next. so, resumes.
there have been other things, not yet including birthday celebrations. things that make one ask holly on the phone at walmart "how much rectal bleeding is tooo much rectal bleeding?". and also i have to go have a physical. i haven't been taking my thyroid medication for like years, and that's probably not a good thing. so. busy.
and also, it's fucking snowing again. friday we closed early due to snow. saturday and sunday it was gorgeous. monday it snowed and today it snows again. it's wild. (i really want to type "white and wild" but i jsut don't see how it accomplishes anything other than making me laugh)
Thanks everyone for the birthday greetings. i had a really good birthday. i opened a present a day, it was just like hannukah*(atrocioius spelling). matt's mom got me kitty earrings, mary gave me a french press for tea, and matt built me a very beautiful jewelry box and sent a big ass arrangement of flowers to the bank. it was and then we ate cake all day on saturday and lay around. a very good birthday indeed.

*i said this to matt's mom who thinks i am completely insane now.

i've been rather foolishly bad about updating lately. i wish i had a good excuse, but i don't. matt came home with me for my mothers memorial service. it was sad and hard and i'm very glad he came. it was nice that one person wasn't a blubbering mess. emily is already having contractions so there'll be a baby really soon. very exciting.
sara and i have been talking about our respective debt and how we don't fit in our pants and also how we need to make some friends. so those are our completely pathetic new years resolutions. it's comforting atleast that we have eachother to whine too. we're be really sad if we whined alone. to combat the fat thing, i did something so completely not me that i sometimes wake up thinking i dreamed it. i bought darrin's dance grooves for 1.20 on half.com. there's nothing like abject humiliation in your own home right? and with britney. it should prove to be amusing anyway. amusing and desperate. atleast it was cheap.
i'm planning to register the car this afternoon, my father signed the title to me this weekend. so i have to decide quick if i'm doing the fancy liscense plate thing. probably since i've already half planned to trade it in next year it would be a waste of money. i just hope my dad won't be too upset.
i've listed the honda for sale, not that anyone seems to want it. it is maine in the winter after all. but it's early yet. i have been having weird dreams about it. i dreamed that this group of teenage boys was talking about it and comparing it to the ford escort, and they chose the escort. nightmare.
today is my fake birthday, or the day i'm going to pick up my ring from being sized and then matt and i are going to dinner. and then saturday we're baking my birthday cake together because we really don't want to go out on a saturday in december. we're hermits. it's fun to celebrate all week though. i got a package from Holly with the proposal scarf from old navy, a cook book of all chocolates, and 12 months of martha stewart living. it's fabulous. i've already got projects planned. YAY!

the computer people here at work have been relentlessly going back and forth between servers, or something. my internet set ups have been changing over and over again. the inconvenience of this is pretty minor, i have to type in some sites every day. it's not a big deal. the thing that's driving me completely insane, is that annie's godforsaken weblog keeps popping up (it's a very slow computer, when you scroll down sometimes it just grabs sites at random). it's really getting on my nerves. i can't help but see the titles. introverted introvert, no, pathologically self-absorbed. but, i digress. i'm just tired of getting stuck into that website, asshole.

irony: there were so many red subaru foresters in the graves lot last night one couple was overheard to say "maybe it's that one?"

atleast once a month i will do something that will make matt shake his head and say "i don't know about you". the last time he did it was only a few days ago but i can't for the life of me remember what i did to make him say it that time. he usually follows that with saying something like he's never met anyone like me before and somehow he says it with a sincerity that overrides the cliche. i don't actually try to get under his skin like that, it just sort of happens and actually i think he likes it. well, it's more like he admits he likes it. i guess he's a weirdo too.
he was looking at my to do list the other day, titled the "should do today list". i wouldn't want to put too much pressure on one day to get too much done. but he said it was a breakthrough of honesty. but he also commented that putting 1/2 or 1/3 next to each completed item is cheating. i call it "mapping progress". there are some things you can't really do half of. like you can't half clean the cat box (unless someone really funny like holly calls you when you're only half done the cat box thing) but a cat box is either clean or not clean. there is no 1/3 completion of a cat box. but you can vacuum 1/3 of your house. i have three rooms, i vacuumed one. 1/3. i have two trash cans. i emptied one. take out trash 1/2. now probably it takes more effort to write 1/2 next to the trash line than it would to take out the bathroom trash, but nobody's perfect. he's the kind of matt that doesn't need lists. everything he needs to do gets done right then because he is not a lazy bitch with a blackbelt in procrastination. he's a mature and upstanding young person who doesn't wait to take out the trash or to do the dishes or for the cat to eat those pieces of kibble that fall out of her bowl instead of picking them up. not that i would ever do that either. hmmm. so i guess he doesn't need to map his progress. his progress is ongoing and unmapable. responsible bastard.

all that talk about going to the harry potter movie and i never even blogged about it. it was very good. they edited alot of information...but what choice had they? they cut the quidditch and extended the dragon scene which i didn't understand. they cut the veela and the house elves and ludo bagman and the prize gold (how will fred and george fund their joke shop with no prize gold?). no one else here has seen it, but i've been chatting with a few of the customers about it. and we're in agreement that it was a really great adaptation from a huge ass book. we're also in agreement that the 7th movie will have to go one for 12 hours as there will be so many loose ends to wrap up. but i'm sure no one will mind. we brought chocolates from ben and bill's and a bunch of tissues and sat in the very last row. and he didn't complain once.
we're tentatively making plans for my birthday, except we have no idea what to do. we can't sit home watching six feet under like we do every other night. we just can't. no matter how much we like it. so i'm up for suggestions. i'd like to go see pride and prejudice if it's playing anywhere nearby. otherwise probably we'll just go out to dinner. but really i have a whole day, as it's on a saturday. that's a lot of merrymaking.

i'd been meaning to write about the check engine light in the maxima. i've certainly been thinking about it enough to merit a thorough blog but it's been unnerving. the light it seems goes on to alert the driver of a breach of the emissions system. it lit up because i didn't close the gas cap tight enough, ten minutes before the light went on. hmmmm. matt believed all we had to do was disconnect the battery...but that didn't work. and then we were going to take it to the dealer...eventually...and have them reset it (and also pray that that was really the problem and not something expensive and important). but then yesterday the light just went out. so either the car realised that the emissions situation is again under control (can cars realise things...dave?) or the car is marching slowly to a quiet death. we'll see.
it's been weird driving my mom's car for a lot of reasons. one is that it's just so hers. i feel like a teenager borrowing the car. perpetually. the other is more practical because it's huge and automatic and i'm having trouble getting used to it. i think i am a manual lover. you really have more control with manual and i've gotten used to it.

yesterday i went jewelry shopping. you see, i had this coupon (which expires tomorrow). and well, i was supposed to buy this thing for my sister...but i already bought her christmas present and i thought i'd look around for the one or two folks i still have to shop for. at the jewelry store. so uhh, while i was looking around i sort of bought myself a ring. with like these diamonds on it. oh, and also i got my hair cut.
so about this ring. i hatched a plan. since holly was one of the folks i was still shopping for and she just had a fit about buying herself a clearance coach bag i decided before i had a fit of my own that we'd make a deal. the recorded history will show that i bought her a coach bag for christmas and she bought me a diamond ring. we'll be married in the spring. (cough)
so now all i need to buy is an electric hamster. for reid. or a new hermit crab. but not a real hamster. unless i want to go there everyweek and clean it. which i don't.
matt was wavering on the no gift policy, because kevin told him i would kill him if he really didn't get me something. but really, i won't. i liked the going out to dinner plan. i have big plans for ordering dessert and everything.* we can enjoy something guilt-free and be totally relaxed while everyone else is flipping out in the parking lot of reny's.
i've been getting slowly more excited about christmas. mostly because i'm giving my tree away and i have no plans to decorate at all. i will bake instead. i think i'll make gingerbread cookies. i found a recipe for soft ones, like gingersnaps but with molasses.
i finally cooked and mashed the pumpkins, but i didn't bake a pie because cooking and mashing pumpkin in a blender is a lot of damn work. i will never ever do it again. ever. the cans are cheaper, cleaner and it takes so much less time i can't think of an appropriate fraction to really capture the drama. i heart cans. but, i did the martha thing and i have 7 cups of mashed frozen pumpkin in my freezer. hopefully it won't die there.

*sara orders two desserts, one for there and one to take home. she's my hero.

tonight is harry potter night, and i am so excited. if they're sold out i might do something desperate. it's a sign of how evil this cold was that i haven't even been excited about harry potter until now. evil evil cold. we've been twiddling our thumbs all day. everyone is in bangor beating eachother over the last whatever it is this season. as long as they're all too tired to go see harry potter at 6 i'm all set. i might be inconsolable if they're sold out.

i've been balancing my checkbook lately and i must say that it's a depressing exercise. silly reality. you'd think as a bank teller i'd be all over the balancing thing, but no. really i just sort of hope i have enough money. but no more. i'm preparing for a new year of budgeting, and keeping records, and the getting together of the shit.
matt's been reminding me daily that the birthday is coming. or maybe he's reminding himself. it's hard to say. he was watching me intently while we were shopping, especially in the jewelry store, which could work for me. we finished all our shopping, got wrapping paper, ribbon, boxes. i should've got tape but probably i've got enough. we don't have all that much to wrap. i picked a light blue with silver and white fake japanese like flowers. very cute. not very christmassy but very winter. i'm sort of getting into the holiday spirit, albeit a little early. at the moment i'm eating my 8 dollar boy scout popcorn, which is really really good, and it's starting to snow. happy thanksgiving!

holy shit! thanksgiving. it's this week. and my pumpkins...are still pumpkins when they should be pies. pies and soup. and yet they persist in being gourds. bastards. i've been lazy about getting ready for thanksgiving. increasingly i just don't want to go. but if we don't go to my house, we have to go to matt's house, although we have an invitation to sara's house, but families trump. probably i'm just grumpy because i'm still sick and matt is still really sick, and also i have no chocolate.
the babysitting went very well, because my sister's children are perfect. shining stars of reproduction. grace beamed at me and giggled while i changed her diaper even though she had a cold and reid went right to sleep after one book and a germy hug and reminding me to tell mama that he loves her. awww. so cute.
we didn't get to see harry potter because we both really wanted to go to sleep. and then i had to drive alot. and sunday we had to cook the chickens and go to sleep. and i'm still tired. i can't get untired. i'm perpetually ready for a nap. and tonight we're going shopping. we're going to do all of our christmas shopping tonight and then lay low until january. i'm looking forward to wrapping more than shopping. i like wrapping. i have to pick a color theme and some new wrapping papers. i can't wait to torture matt at target. "but do you think that's the right hue? does it bring out the colors of the paper or overshadow them?" and then we have to choose baby clothes for my sister. he's such a good sport.

i was out sick yesterday. i decided to take a more pro-active approach to this illness. i bought extra tissues and two kinds of cold medicince, and disinfectact. i've been spraying everything in sight. i'm not normally a germ killer spraying person, but i'm tired of being sick. TIRED of it. i certainly feel better and obviously i'm at work. we're training today, so we're on best behavior.
i've been spraying all around me here aswell. germs beware.
we're off to harry potter tonight, if i haven't made matt too sick to go. i'm very excited about it, deep under the medicated bliss.
we've finally got the title back for the geo, which means we can sell it and it'll all be over. the hitch is that she wants us to make the bill of sale for more than it should be...for the loan. how illegal is that?

last week i took a sick day (was it even last week, i can't remember). i thought i felt bad enough to stay home and veg and mope and clean my whole house. and then there is now. now i am very very sick. i am at work because mary isn't here and i don't want to cause trouble. what i want to do is get a big shop vac hold it to my nostrils until my head is clear. matt thought that was a bad idea until he got sick too and now he says he'll take me to home depot. bless him.
i'd rather go to the grocery and re-stock the juice supplies. i'm thinking like a cart full of orange and maybe cranberry. for diversity. we're supposed to barbecue tonight, but i think we'll probably just drink six cartons of juice and groan till bedtime. when i suggested this matt said "don't make me laugh, i can't laugh cough and sneeze at the same time". i guess i'm the better multi-tasker.

i think this year only the banks and the post offices were closed for v day. matt was supposed to work but when i casually asked him if he had the day off he insisted on taking a vacation day. 'course we did spend the day going from tool shop to tool shop, but he asks so little of me how could i refuse. we did have to drive on 495 in rush hour and i really thought i was going to have to pull over and beat him senseless with one of the tools he bought, having no valium on hand. the traffic, it seems, makes him nervous. he swore it wasn't my driving, especially as he didn't want to drive himself. it was too much stimulus i guess, all the speeding cars.
we had dinner with my pregnant sister and watched shaun of the dead (very funny).
the museum is indeed in salem, and i am a moron. i can't believe i'd never been there. we didn't go see the house, because we're cheap, but also because there was so much to see. we saw the penguin. and alot of figureheads. and some nice indian people teaching a dance class. we only stayed a few hours, because we're old and crotchety and also hungry. then we drove around danvers and he pointed out every house his family ever lived in.
my brother got a promotion, he's now shipping manager at building 19. snazzy. we ate alot and we drove alot, and i am very tired.
driving the maxima, while very luxurious, is very boring. or it was until the check engine light came on. probably it's nothing, it's just a blinking reminder of the mortality of all beings. cars included. sigh.

it was supposed to snow today, but instead it's warm and a little rainy. that's fine with me. matt and i decided not to worry too much about what my sister may or may not get for the car, atleast until i sell it. while we estimate the value at such and such, it's only worth what someone will actually pay for it. which may very well be what i paid for it. time will tell. meanwhile i'll stop whining about it here.
matt and i are heading to my house for the long weekend. we're going tool shopping. some of us are more excited about that than others. there's talk of going to the peabody essex museum and maybe some of the attractions in salem as matt has never been. although he has been to the willows so he's not been completely deprived.

my father bought himself one of these, in vanilla. he says it's like sitting in your living room. but with a retractable top. as this would be the sixth car to reside in his driveway, he called to be sure that i'm going to take the maxima away. (actually he said he's going to sell it to me, which makes me a little nervous...surely he means sign the title to me without any exchange of funds...that's what give means right?) so this weekend i'll have two cars. which is good because i'll be living out of them. ha.
i told my father my plan to buff the honda and fix the big ass holes in the paint and possibly the scratch in the bumper (where apparently my father hit it with the snowblower...). i didn't tell him my plan to sell it for more than twice what i paid for it. he thinks i'm going to give the money from the sale to my sister. i was planning on giving her the previously agreed upon price.
i could sell it at what i want to sell it for, and then give all the money to christine, who would have done none of the required work except cash the check. i could leave the paint crappy and do nothing more than list it in uncle henry's for free and sell it for what i paid for it. or i could do all the work, sell it for what it's really worth and lie through my teeth. i don't really like any of those options.

if my sister's baby is born this month her birth flower will be chrysanthemum, next month holly or narcissus. since my birthday is next month too, i'm choosing narcissus for us both. being december baby myself, i've learned to hate everything that associates a birthday with christmas. narcissus seems much less christmassy, until someone tells me it's some kind of holy flower.
it's fifty here today, which is incredibly warm for november. mary's boss was here bright and early to tell us he'd like to hear any opposing offers we might get for our skills. i oughtn't to go into more detail until all the craziness settles down but there's somekind of nasty power struggle between the banks on the island and he doesn't want to lose us to another bank. the fact that just last thursday we were discussing what kind of offer we could get from the other bank, is just a little too ironic.

there is a baby bear hiding in a tree in front of the town office.

poor thing.

dispatches from the front lines. trick or treating was very fulfilling for reid and grace. grace's entire hello kitty pale was full, and reid apparently had three huge piles. one of those piles was the "no thankyou" pile. mostly made up of candy he's never seen before. atleast he's polite about it. on tuesday morning as he was getting on the school bus he told my sister "mama, i'll be thinking about you all day...and candy." he couldn't be any cuter.

remember the dumbo costume i mentioned grace was wearing for halloween. go look at leta. dressed in the same costume, but picture a fatter baby, and that's my elephant niece. too adorable.
there was no blog yesterday because i was home sick. the time change is really getting me fucked up, i felt very icky yesterday. however, even feeling icky, i can't sit around my house doing nothing so i cleaned out my closets. one garbage bag of clothes for charity. and to fill in the gap (no pun intended, just wait, you'll see) in my closet i got a package from the gap today. i should have gotten it monday. one might even say a month ago. you know why it was late, it was on the floor of the post office instead of the shelf. the poor man can't be expected to look at all of the packages. what kind of insanity would that be? sigh...
the weather is disturbingly beautiful lately. sunny and warm. i had my laundry out on the fence yesterday and it dried faster than the stuff i put through the dryer. for free! if only i had more fence. what a coup that would be.
because i am a pawn of the retail masses, i've agreed to work the pajama day sale at the bookstore. i should practice saying no. i really should. i also agreed to go to a retirement dinner for the owner of the bookstore. she caught me off guard with that one and then i couldn't think of an excuse fast enough. free dinner with people i mostly like. it'll make for a more interesting evening than comparing the relative drying times of my laundry.
did i mention that the sun now sets at 4:30. i always forget this part about living downeast. it's pitch black by 5:30. bangor hydro is going to have a very good quarter, because i can't stand the darkness. i turn on every light in every room when i get home. seasonal affective disorder be damned. lights everywhere, full speed ahead. if i could get more wattage in the oven i'd leave that open too.
i cleaned the oven yesterday, which of course involves only pushing the button marked clean, but i still felt good about it. i made fudge concurrently, from a kit sold by eagle, the condensed milk people. it was suprisingly good and very easy. it comes with everything you need except the butter. even it's own little can of condensed milk (which is way more gelatinous than i remember) which was very cute.
matt is going to look at a truck today. an '89. for matt, that's like buying brand new. it also represents only like the second vehicle he's actually purchased. everything he drives is something that was given to him in varying states of function. this is really a big step for him.

i've been consumed by all manner of things lately, and nothing particularly worth blogging about. however, the sun is shining and it's halloween and everyone is in a good mood. i got my rent refund back to the tune of 245 dollars and i'm very very excited about it. it'll be gone to bills soon enough, but it's a very cool of the state of maine to give me some of my taxes back.
saturday was maine day, the day maine hunters can take to the woods and kill stuff without worrying about out-of-staters shooting anything that moves in their back yards.* matt didn't go hunting saturday. he worked in his yard moving rocks from one pile to another while his brother, his father, some friends and some people no one knew hunted his land. i learned all kinds of stuff about hunting. if you're wearing orange, even if you don't have a gun, the game warden will think you're hunting without a liscense and you will go to jail. you can only hunt does with a special permit. matt's brother will make like he's going to skin you with his hunting knife repeatedly, such is the urge to kill. i guess. heater hunters are to be despised by one and all.** to post your land against hunters you'd have to put up a sign every 50 feet***. matt has over two hundred acres and he refuses to pay for all those signs. also, no one gives a shit about posting including the police unless you make a very significant complaint. when matt walks his property, he brings a gun. for trespassers or bears. apparently his neighbor baits bears. which is a little nerve wracking. i've been warned to run from bears downhill, and then turn at 90 degrees. bears can't stop, so if you're going downhill they roll. which is sort of scary and funny at the same time. it was all about hunting this weekend. i was a little nervous that matt wasn't wearing any orange. he told me not to wear any white, or brown, because a lot of people see those colors as triggers. according to the men folk, this is a reason not to wear underwear while hunting. even though it's effing cold. i don't suppose i would want to get my dick shot if i had one.



*out-of-staters are not the only ones who shoot at anything that moves, and i'm sure they're not all assholes, but they bear the burden of the geographic roots by having to start hunting a week later.
**dudes who wear the orange and have guns and probably liscences but just drive around until they see deer...rather than stalk and suffer the cold like the real men.
***you can also put three diagonal lines in the trees, every fifty feet on the border of your property.

why didn't anyone comment that i'm a moron to contemplate keeping two cars? because i would be. much better to sell the del sol and rid myself of debt. the honda it seems is worth a bit of money, if anyone wants it. the maxima is less so, so that's the one i'll keep. and i can fit my friends in it. shock of shockers, i'll be disapointed to be driving automatic. i really like standard. the idea is to offload the honda to the highest bidder, pay down debts, and later on pick up a crv* or maybe a little truck.
the best part of having a matt is that i can get a junker and he can keep it running. he makes it his lifes work to keep my cars running safely. every one i know is thinking about cars lately. sara has an older maxima that runs mostly but has no heat. but it passed inspection, and i feel her delight in the beauty of that. holly is looking for a gently used late model something. it would be exciting if it wasn't also stressful. mmmm cars.


*i've kind of always wanted one, i think they're much cuter than the del sols and i'd have a pretend backseat, and the performance would be the same.

this weekend my father offered me my mom's car if i want it. if i can afford to insure both of them i probably will. matt is very excited to have the honda in his garage for the winter. it'll be a sleeper* by spring. i'm excited because my mom's car has a 6 cd changer and remote start. i've also been researching their resale value. i don't really have the lifestyle for a sports car or a luxury sedan, a nice four wheel drive subaru would be fine. matt suggets the WRX as a good compromise. i think he should build his damn hot rod instead of turning all of my cars into turbo race mobiles.


*sleeper, n. boy speak for a hot rod that doesn't look like a hot rod. i.e., keep the outside factory, and pimp the shit out of the engine.

this was a very busy weekend. the geo is spoken for, and relatively clean. the girl who wants it has had one before and she really thinks she's getting a deal. which makes me happy, because she is. the one problem with uncle henry's (the buy sell or trade book the car was listed in) is that everyone wants something for nothing. a lot of the calls i got were from people trying to convince me that the car was worthless and they should get it for $500, or $10 or whatever so they can pimp it out and sell it for a profit. the tires and rims are worth $500 alone. but anyway, its sold to a nice girl who got a car loan to buy it. i feel very uneasy about that*, so we made a deal for $750. enough to pay for the work my dad has done to it and clear 500 for the belated purchase of the honda. and it'll be gone. GONE. and that is a beautiful thing.
the next beautiful thing is that i have pictures of grace in the dumbo costume. unbelievable adorable. she has learned to sind the "e i e i o" of old mac donalds farm and very sweetly says "thank you" for everything from picking her up when she falls down to handing her a goldfish cracker. very polite. since emily is due in early december, we did a bit of her christmas shopping this weekend. including matching christmas dresses for grace and the new baby.** and i took a picture of the cart elavator at target for matt's family who just can't believe that such a thing exists.

for the bloopers section of this broadcast i fell flat on my face for no apparent reason. emily was getting cash from the drive up atm. she didn't grab the money fast enough, so the machine just spit it out. in to the wind. since she's 8 months pregnant, i offered to run in to the wind after her 40 dollars. and i tripped on the god damn perfectly flat asphalt. i've never seen emily laugh so hard. the worst part is that it's captured for posterity on the bank security video. lets hope they don't routinely review them.
sunday morning my dad was clipping coupons for stretchmark removal services for emily. i'm pretty sure it was a joke, but i enjoyed it more than she did. the best part of the weekend was emily mouthing "help me" accross the table after reid pronounced that they'll need two highchairs when the baby comes. help indeed. she's praying for an early delivery.


* it hurts my heart that someone would be paying prime interest to own my 10 year-old prizm, but her boyfriend is going to put a choice stereo in it, so i guess it'll work out.
** if indeed it is a girl.

i got a raise. i'm very excited. no stupid two jobs next summer. so, it's only 3:30 and i have alot more time than i thought. to blog. and read gilead which is really really good. matt and i went to target last night. i got chairman meow a pink catnip mouse, with a very alarmed face. and with good reason. she gnawed on that thing like, well, like a cat eating catnip but it was fascinating (it seems with that imagery an analogy isn't really necessary). she totalled the thing within minutes. matt tried to take it from her to engage her in more active, less destructive play, so she took it in her mouth and ran under the couch. on the one hand it was worth the 2.50 because she really seemed to enjoy it. on the other i'm a little pissed that she destroyed it so unceremoniously, instead of ehhh...savoring it. atleast she enjoyed it.

we've been busy, which is unprecedented because this is maine in october. so i've been a delinquent poster. i received my camera cord today. speedy speedy service at fuji film. i'm very impressed. i've already downloaded the last pictures i took with it, grace's birthday in april. my mom is in most of them, in her wheelchair and smiling. the cord issue is not the only thing that's kept me from getting these pictures off the camera. in a wheelchair, even smiling, is not how i want to remember my mother. i have memories of her walking, but i can't remember the last time i saw her walk. i remember her dancing more than walking. the woman was always dancing and singing. that is my preferred memory.
someone, i think finslippy, recently wrote about putting thoughts and voices in a jar to calm the mind. i have a fluffy white washcloth that i mentally wipe away bad memories with. it's a temporary fix but the illusion that i can wipe away the memory of my dad tipping spoonfuls of milk into my mothers mouth and replace it with her dancing and telling the waiter at the brewery that it's ok to drop glasses of water on her because she gets hot flashes anyway. she still cracks me up.

i had a post all written, but our servers died. i hate that. but now i can't remember at all what i had written so i'm starting over. we spent most of the day thinking out mary's halloween costume. she's going to be professor mcgonagall. i think i'm going to try for tonks if i can find pink hair spray. we're trying to find a character for sara but she's just not as excited as we are. hermione could work, as sara has a lot of hair, but it's a toss up until the day.
i found a bunch of good squash soup recipes and a recipe for squash cookies i'll put up on the fridge just to unnerve matt. i was looking at all sorts of house wifey things to do for the holidays. one was cookies on sticks in the shapes of flowers. and then you stick them in a terra cotta pot. adorable. i really should be a housewife. god, how annoying would i be then? i don't think i could stand it all day, best to keep it a hobby.

this sunday was the MDI marathon and guess who started it off? martha. but she couldn't use a starting pistol, as she's a convicted felon. she had to use an airhorn. poor dear. i didn't see any of the runners, they didn't come by my house and probably i was out shopping when they were running anyway.
i was trying not to be a shopper this weekend. can't you taste the self righteousness? but clearly i failed. i limited myself to groceries and acorn squash the size of my head for shopping on saturday. i did the dishes. i scrubbed the toilet. i vacuumed the fuzz colonies from under the bed. by the time matt was over for dinner i had prepared three courses and baked cookies. i was completely restless for things to do and he said, i quote "maybe you should spend your saturdays in bangor". it seems i am a happier camper when i surf bargains in the big bad city.
but seriously, these squash. one of the farmer markets was having a sale. i guess all the rain is putting a damper on their sales and they're desperate to get rid of the squash. i also got pie pumpkins. and a blue hubbard, but a tiny one. matt thinks he doesn't like squash. little does he know. he won't even know he's eating it. mwahaha.
is anyone a fan of father ted? we've been watching lately courtesy of netflix and it's hilarious. just when you think it can't get any more random, it goes the extra mile. i just love it.
the dude from world headquarters didn't show up so we don't know what's up with our promotions and raises. the tension, it's electric. i can't stand the waiting.

i just ordered a new usb cord for the digital camera. when i get home, i will look somewhere like the coffee table and the original cord will be sitting there, ready to use. guaranteed. i searched the house all weekend, while also cleaning and trashing all of these strange things i've been inexplicably saving and moving for YEARS. one can put both feet under my kitchen table now. it's amazing. anyway, without the cord the camera's just an expensive paperweight so it was worth the 15 dollars to replace it.
old navy opened in bangor last night. i wasn't going to go. matt came over and since he spent the day sniffing kerosene i didn't think he'd be up to going anywhere...but he was. so we went. it's the smallest old navy i've ever seen. sadly there's no clearance in a BRAND NEW STORE so it was kind of a bust. but we had a really nice dinner, and the weather was good for a drive. very fally with the foliage.
on monday the big boss from the MO is coming to visit. so i'll have to be professional. we're hoping to get sara benefits and me a raise. wish us luck.

maybe it's not too cold, maybe we just ran out of charcoal. either way, grilling is done for the season. we did just pick up a cast iron pan for cheap at marshalls, but i've decided it's too much work. lots of rules for cooking with cast iron. i'll get some nice simple aluminum and just buy a new one in ten years when it's dead. heirloom cookware my ass.
a guy from aflac came by this morning to distribute pamphlets. mary has been making the aflac noise all morning. she's been cracking me up. welcome to winter. the simpler the entertainment the better. truly.
i should be off on my walk to the library. before it rains again. matt's been teaching me the finer points of leachfields when it rains alot. fascinating.

i've been reading the allrecipes website alot lately. which isn't really new, but it's starting to get a little old. every recipe says "the best ________" or "my family loves them" they can't all be the best, and really who is going to say "gee auntie, next time bring chips ahoy" (i'm looking at cookie recipes). i'd really rather descriptions like pinky's wine. specific things, like the flavor is like this, this ingredient adds this to the dish. maybe i'm just picky. i've been doing alot of things without recipes lately. sort of rifling through my new moosewood cookbook and mixing a bunch of ideas together. it's been fun.
we decorated for halloween today. i've been putting the last pieces of my costume together as well. i've got a broom, and a quill. i just need to write gringotts on a piece of cardboard and i'm all set. exactly one person will get it, but it'll make me happy. i've given up on having trick or treaters so i'll have to have my fun at work. i talked to my sister saturday and i learned that reid is going to be a teradactyl(very wrong spelling) and grace is going to be dumbo. i can hardly stand the adorableness. dumbo.
town is gearing up for the end of the season. everyone is trying to sell as much as possible before boarding up. 50% off sales everywhere. i might try to do some christmas shopping. who doesn't want a HIKE ACADIA hat for christmas? the plan is more to get a half off tourmaline for my sister. and silly earrings for matt's mom, if i can find any. she loves silly earrings. my mother would never wear earrings in the shape of tiny boots, but matt's mom is all over it. it's kind of fun actually. i expect everyone else is getting books, but it's early days yet.

the rain, it is mighty. and unending. 10 inches at last count, we're lucky to be living on mountains. instant drainage.
there was alot of shopping this weekend, and a wedding, and a spaghetti sauce that matt actually liked. i purged alot of my apartment. it needed it. more later.

clearly a meme and not an original. a slew of my favorite kids books are on here. i now wonder if my mom picked them on purpose. the italics are ones i've read.


Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

i got my first phonecall about the GEO. and i'm a moron already. i kept reminding myself that i was going to get random phone calls, but i forgot. this gent wanted to know the miles, and since i couldn't remember that either, i had to call him back. and i had to leave him a message. if you've ever received a phone message from me, you know how embarrassing it must have been. i'm assuming that either it'll be a no sale on that call, or he'll wheedle me into the ground based on my stupidity. i guess we'll see. i'm going to practice being articulate for the next one, if there is a next one. i wonder what insurance would give us if we just torched it and called it a freak accident. not that i would do that. on purpose.
while i was talking to my dad, he was telling me all about his adventures in babysitting. apparently grace was feeding him last night. she was repaying the favor. she'll be allset to take care of the next baby.
i spent my evening washing the mold from my bathroom ceiling with a bleach solution. old houses i guess. i imagine it'll be better when it's cold, what self-respecting kind of mold would live in maine in the winter. all the hip molds go to palm beach.
i was in ellsworth also yesterday, shamedly shopping at walmart. where else is one supposed to buy laundry detergent? there's no local laundry store to patronize. there just isn't. so i went to walmart and i'm going to give the arm & hammer a try. it was cheap and it's full of baking soda goodness. i was considering the woolite dark wash, because of satan's dress code, but what happens if you wash something light in the dark wash? i'm too lazy to separate and i never have enough quarters* anyway so i just wash everything in cold. so arm & hammer it is. they make great kitty litter, why not laundry detergent? the possibilities of baking soda are seemingly endless.


*i could go to the gas station next door and get quarters, but the teeth to employee ratio is way off the norm and they make me nervous.

no one recognizes laura thornton's name because she got married, laura hamilton ring any bells? i very often forgot that folks get married and change their names and then you have no idea who they really are. more later

i've been feeling very girly lately. above and beyond the every day domestics. while amy was here she was forced to help me buy perfume, shoes and shop for handbags. the horror. the perfume was from the duty free shop on the border. it's elizabeth arden's green tea. two amies agreed that it was lovely, and it was cheap. we also bought cheap alcohol, hopefully amy's grey goose made it home in one piece.
i was trying to find something appropriate and seasonal to wear to sara the bank teller's wedding this sunday, and so amy had to survive the mall with me. i didn't actually have any luck. i'm still praying that old navy opens saturday...but as a compromise i picked up some femme heels to dress up some work clothes. sara won't care, but it's a mark of respect to look nice. they make me taller than matt. which he suggested should help me reach things. it's not that i can't reach them myself, i just like it when he does it for me. it's the principle of the thing.
i looked at bags in marshalls and tjmaxx, the only stores i could ever afford to purchase one in, but had no luck. the only one i really liked was $60. since no one else in the bangor municipal area can afford that price either (atleast no one who shops at tjmaxx) i have great hopes that if i'm diligent enough it'll be marked down more and i'll catch the deal. shopping is a sport after all, it's all about strategy.

my problem with martha, while i love reading the magazine, is that i'm both too cheap and too lazy to do alot of her things. but gosh, how i love to look at them. i've been thinking of indulging myself with a magazine subscription. maybe martha, maybe some fashion rag. i haven't decided. i think cooking light would be too practical, i wouldn't want to get something i'd actually use. where's the entertainment there? that's utility. and who wants that?
i'd been idly looking for a cookie cutter in the shape of a maple leaf, to fulfill one of martha's ideals. but i didn't want to actually spend the money on one. it seems that matt, being a machinist, can make me cookie cutters in any shape i want. jackpot. it would be fun to make caricatures of the reid and grace and decorate them to give the children different moods. happy grace, grumpy grace. and then you could eat the grumpy one. chomp. but then maybe my sister won't relish canniballizing her children.
the queen mary 2 is in portland today, but it's so foggy they used the footage of her rolling into bar harbor instead. crafty bastards.

we did a bit of a tour of the st laurent. we stayed in trois rivieres and took day trips to montreal and quebec city. mostly we drove around and ate alot which is a nice change of pace from working alot and eating alot. amy let me cook for her, as though she'd really stop me, and i tried to teach her how to make mac and cheese. if she's tuning in i'd also like to say that the fish chowder was a lot better the next day and i really rather impressed myself. not that it's hard exactly.
matt and i are going to use the rest of the apples tonight. his father offered me jars if i canned my applesauce, which i guess is a compliment.
i have an inexplicable urge to subscribe to the martha stewart magazine. i was browsing in it a bit at the bookstore last night and it's really very fun. i'll probably never go out and buy old fashioned candy jars and print labels for them that say "dastardly treats, dissatisfaction guaranteed" but if i had the jars around already, i might be persuaded. i'll probably never dry fresh cocscumb(i really have no idea if i've spelled that right) and put it under glass to pretend it's some one's brain, but i might upend the glass, and leave a trail of oooze where the brain should be. that would be cheaper, and more ooogy.
i'll probably never spray paint my pumpkins black, or buy white ones, but i think they both looked pretty cool. maybe if i had children to frighten a glowing black pumpkin would be more worthwile. i wonder how much self respect it would cost to get a subscription?

news from hood is that laura thornton passed away. it seems she graduated with us, i feel terribly that i can't remember her. it's sad that so many hoodlums are passing.

it was a very relaxing week off, so much so it seems there's nothing to say about this past week. mr. cosby was very funny and the common ground fair was very earthy (and the pro-life protestors were very innapropriate, should anyone else have seen them). despite leaving for canada a day late, i still forgot my shoes. we had to stop at dick's in bangor* where amy pronounced the footwear associate a dyke within seconds of spotting her**. it was very strange to be having that kid of conversation again. i suppose i could incite such discussions with matt, but he just wouldn't care.
customs gave us absolutely no shit, the hotel was better for 65 dollars a night than we could have hoped for (amy tried all three of the proffered breakfast meats), and she pushed the limits of her love for fromage. we visited a condemned prison, the tour was conducted by an ex inmate and it was fabulous. the best part of our trip second only to amy meeting matt's brother upon our return. highlights include "you know what they say about girls that wear bandanas" amy telling him that her cock was bigger than his, and this gem of an exchange: nate "i'll bend you over the sink right now" amy "the men's room or the ladies room, i'd blend into the mens but what'll it do to your reputation?". oh dear. bangor is just not ready.



*this sentence deserves two footnotes...one because there's an old navy and a famous footwear opening in bangor, and while the all consuming developement sucks, i'm very excited not to have to drive 3 hours to capitalize on my greedy consumerism.
** and secondly, anyone who knows any mas will not be surprised that the shoe lady is gay.

i'm going canadian next week, see you all in october!

you know, hot applesauce burns like a mofo when it bubbles out of the pan. but it's really yummy on vanilla ice cream. i succeeded in making matt jealous when he called with that last bit. the applesauce is really for him, i'm not that big of a fan of cold applesauce. i guess i could nuke it, but that's just so wrong.
i've been trying to find something worth doing between st. john canada and quebec city, and frankly...there's nothing. moose, and pine trees and towns that end their names in depot (mary spotted that, something about new brunswick). i guess we'll be deciding where to go on sunday, whilst i force feed amy zucchini. it seems there's more going on around the st. laurent, i was just hoping to spend some time speaking english. because i am a bourgeois spoiled american, and also lazy.
i suppose there is something relaxing about not speaking the language, you're kind of devoid of responsibility. although i sort of fear driving down that blockaded, vertical, cobblestoned hill road that matt had to back the car up and around a sightless curve because there's just no way that i can do what he did, because i can't drive. i'd have to make amy go and move the blockade and then drive down ahead of the parade narrowly escaping the french police. just like the bourne identity, but with a honda. why don't they do car chases with hondas anyway? i feel i could identify with that, but then i suppose eco-friendly, thrifty, single women don't really identify with car chase driving.

i put about three cups of zucchini into the spaghetti sauce last night, and i'm finally conquering the beast. there's still plenty left. but i'm starting to feel like i'm winning. the rest of it is getting used tonight. everything in the fridge gets roasted, no survivors. amy is coming saturday and i won't be around much next week, so all the fresh food must be eaten. there will be salad, and roasted vegetables and a whole lot of bread that had to leave the freezer to make room for the pies. i have reached my cooking saturation point. i still enjoy it, it's just really hard to eat all that food by yourself. despite my landlord's idea that i have a permanent roommate, most nights i'm only feeding myself and by the looks of my kitchen i'm cooking for an army. an army that really likes squash, and baklava, and fine cooking chocolate.
i am excited to have a guest, even if i do have to clean. i'm hoping the sun will rise over the ocean just right so my house will be all pink inside. that's the best part of living on the ocean, a pink house. i'm also hoping that i can make it look like someone neat lives there. someone who takes the recycling in sometimes. you know, last time i went i made 8 dollars. and .05 cents a can. now you know what my shed looks like. no really, it's that bad.

there has always been a computer policy at work, warning us all that we should be using our time better than "surfing" the web. as far as i know, neither i or anyone i know are in trouble regarding this policy, but we were reminded of it yesterday. we were sufficiently freaked out and understaffed to keep me from blogging about how i set my cat on fire this weekend. which is a shame because that was a great story. especially since chairman meow is fine and was only really upset by my screaming and chasing her with a towel. (cough) but anyway, i have no expectation of being dooced, though i'm sure i've earned it. the internet is only one of one thousand ways i can waste my valuable workday time. it's just the one thing that is logged. they have no idea how many library books i've read during my tenure. or how many bowls of cream i've whipped while on the clock. or indeed how many letters i've written, or bills i've paid, et cetera. and still, we meet our goals and exceed our expectations. so i'm really just not going to worry about it at present.
we picked and bought 34 pounds of apples on sunday. we made 11 pies and baked one. i'm planning to make applesauce, and applecake and...well...i don't know what else but you get the picture. i'm surrounded by glorious tart crisp mcintosh apples. it's fall-tastic. i wanted to get a big blue hubbard squash too, but it wasn't that kind of orchard and frankly i might not be woman enough to deal with a squash of that calibur. i'm still in zucchini overload. plenty of time for fall squashes when all that damn zucchini is ate up.
i've been trying to convince sara that an apple pie is a very good wedding present. we've been bartering. in addition, she will receive one large or two small pumpkin pies whenever i get around to making them and she would also like an oil change. the mechanic in question is amenable to the deal, if sara can get her car to amherst. once there, sara will try to convince him to look at her brakes, and since he's matt i'm certain that won't be a problem. he's adorably malleable.

difficult tasks make me cranky. even though it was completed with limited effort on my part, i'm still cranky about it. i cleaned my apartment as little as necessary for the realty crew coming through today. i'm not all that much less lazy for having more free time. this weekend is apple picking and pie weekend. traditionally my mom would make a ham or a turkey for apple sunday. also, by tradition, there would be four or five families there. since it will be just matt and myself, maybe a cornish game hen or two. although that might cause domestic overload.
we had a discussion about thanksgiving recently, whether or not i'm going home. i really should go home, but i have to work the friday after. meaning, i'd have to drive down the night before and up the night of. lo be the unpleasantness. it would not be unpleasant to give thanks with his family, just weird. last year's thanksgiving was spent by myself and it wasn't all that bad. i think i made a pizza but i can't really remember. i'm kind of excited to do my own cooking this year, which is why i want to have thanksgiving sunday. sort of a test run. maybe i'll get all this fall cooking mania out of my system.

as bank employees, we are encouraged to take classes in banking. law and banking, principles of banking, today's teller. very exciting. if you take enough classes, eventually you get a raise. we study the same things in every class, but they're free and not really all that difficult.
mare, you might like them. pick one up at the library, they're in number order. i think they're hilarious. they're not like, great american literatire or anything, definitely a guilty pleasure.

mare, here is the evanovich fan site. i can't remember why i took it down, i must have been feeling like redecorating.
i could sit and write them in word, and spell check them maybe. perhaps i'll get more businesslike in the winter. when every extra step brings you a minute closer to home and hot cocoa.
right now i'm supposed to be cramming for a stupid bank mid-term. law and banking applications. i'm trembling with excitement. and fear.

every time i blog the computer eats it. it's getting rather frustrating and i'm starting to worry that the main office is getting my transmissions when they come to fix the computers.
i've been doing a lot of shopping online. but all in the interest of saving money. i picked up some sale jeans at the gap, and some wholesale spices i can't wait to get, and some things at the honeysuckle shop for sarah's wedding since there's a bit of a sale on. since i have to buy sarah a coffeemaker or some such for the actual wedding, some on sale fun stuff is the perfect addition to her wedding present. and i can give it to her without her whole family watching, so that's good too. it's all very exciting.
as tonight might be our last night grilling, it's getting really cold not to mention dark, we're having a very traditional barbecued chicken with Kraft(r) original sauce. this is in homage to holly's mom who makes the best chicken ever, with kraft sauce. there's just something about it. like cooking voodoo. matt was given a choice between grilled chicken and chicken tacos* and he chose grilled. i think i'm going to add mashed potatoes and skewered squash and i have to do something with some tomatoes. if we were having tacos i could've made fresh salsa. i don't know what i'll do with them now, they might well end up skewered.
this week i have read almost all of the #1 ladies detective agency books, i'm working on the last one now. they are adorable and charming, no matter what thay lady customer last night said. who subsequently chose the incident of the dog in the night for her laid back beach read. if you tell me all of my suggestions are awful WHY DO YOU STILL WANT MY SUGGESTION? i just don't get it.
another customer asked if i went to harvard. and then if i worked at harvard. and then if i lived in cambridge. apparently i look just like a young woman in the harvard square area. another very sweet woman asked me what a puffin was. she'd never heard of them before. i had wanted to ask her where she was from but i thought it might have been rude. now i wish i had. many students from COA came in looking for the great gatsby, which we have been trying to get for them. they are all severely bummed that we don't have it. but i say, didn't these kids go to highschool? doesn't everyone have to read the great gatsby? like ethan frome?


*in retrospect i don't think matt knows what chicken tacos are. i imagine he was choosing between ground chicken with taco sauce and filets on the grill. the better idea would have been not to ask him and just make the tacos. he doesn't need all that free will, it just confuses him.

i just bought popcorn from the boyscouts. because the boy is very nice. i couldn't help myself. damn boy scouts.

COA is taking in a bunch of Loyola students. dear god i hope they find them housing. and give them coats.

i just finished devil in the white city and it is fabulously disgusting. i knew how ooogie it would be and i wasn't disapointed. i suggest it to all avid readers. except marianne. i don't think you'd like it sweetie, it's very graphic.

trite things first. the baklava came out well, it's very easy and the glaze smells like the best honey tea when it's simmering. it seems that no amount of cream cheese frosting can really help those banana bread things. it's just not meant to be. in the cooking realm today i have to find a way to use pattipan squash, the extra phyllo, and a few cups of cream cheese frosting. squash tartlets...uhm...with frosting? hmmm. i also have an unreasonable amount of sliced provolone cheese to dispose of. the problem with breaking the no buying food rule is that you totally forget you have food and so it never gets eaten. probably i should keep an inventory on the front of the fridge, with dates. like a syllabus of meals.

cooking drama out of the way, history lesson onward.

we start today early in the war. the union army is getting trampled in virginia and is very, very slowly moving out from their capital into hostile territory. we know that as a rule, early in the war, the Confederate Army had more "talent" in their ranks that did the U.S. Army. the Navy was a completely different story.
the U.S. Navy did not lose a whole lot of sailors to the confederate cause. one, they were on US Naval vessels and didn't have much hope of staging individual insurgencies, and two the navy was more of a northern tradition anyway. Shipping and boatbuilding were simply more prominent in the north. where the army was short of successes early on in the war, the navy had a much better record.
the us navy instituted a blockade on southern ports that was almost immediately effective. the effect being to prevent the inflow of imported goods and the export of cotton* and putting a stranglehold on the confederate economy. there were ofcourse blockade runners to cuba and other nearby ports, but prices for runner's goods were generally so inflated that only the very wealthy could afford them. what the fuck does this have to do with new orleans, well very little really. we're getting there.
NO was a port city, obviously, but since the blockade did not immediately effect the mississippi river trade still floursihed up and down the river. being a patriotic city, most of the city's available fighting age men were away at war. however, the city was by no means defenseless. canon shown down on the mississippi protecting the city and the only open trade route from the threat of the US Navy. as both sides are equally guilty of underestimating eachother, it won't break any hearts if i say that the defenders of NO weren't all that vigilant since those northerners aren't all that bright. it came as quite a surprise to them to find that one morning a union warship had disquised itself as a cotton barge and came up river under cover of darkness. the battle of NO was very short and turned the tide of the war in the favor of the north earlier than they are ever given credit for.
the best part of this whole story is not that NO was taken easily, but what happens after. as we've discussed, the inhabitants of the city are about %90 female maybe %80 if there were alot of old men and slaves still there.
the union officers who patrolled NO were under the impression that it was still one country and we're all "americans" and put in a great deal of effort to treat the city not like it was captured but that it was uhm...being watched just until the war was all over. the women of NO had differing opinions. they crossed to the other side of the street if a union officer was walking their way. if there was a chance encounter they spat at the officers. respectable ladies did not spit in the 1860's. in short, the women of NO made it abundantly clear that the US was not welcome, fighting the war the only way they knew how.
'course the occupying forces instituted a law that any woman who behaved as such to a union officer would be arrested as a prostitute. but that's not really the point. NO is a proud city and i totally understand why some folks refuse to abandon it.


*no selling cotton, no money. also no cotton for england and all their haughty shirtwaists so they started planting in india. when american cotton was again available, they'd already found cheaper prices and so begins one of many southern recessions.

with the cut in my hours, my life is starting to feel like mine again. since i've had no time to cook i've been drooling at my desk at all the recipes i'd like to try. but i don't have to work tonight, do i'm going to make a vegetable stir fry with a whole bunch of the zuchini that matt's mom gave me. i'm going to frost my banana bars* with neufchatel frosting and i'm going to make baklava. it's going to be a big night in my oven. i've never made baklava before but it looks pretty easy. butter, philo, butter. i'll let you know what it's like tomorrow. the recipe says it's freezable. i can defrost it and send it home with matt this weekend.
in other cooking news: i made a very good macaroni and cheese this weekend, and some very hard core lemon pepper chicken. very hard core. adding truth to the fact that dried spices are more effective than fresh ones. by a lot.
i've been all about my kitchen lately, cooking and refining recipes. i'm supposed to send my cousin a recipe for her bridal shower and i've been trying to pick one that will hold up the family honor. i'm also thinking that i'm going to be cooking the thanksgiving dinner this year. my sister will be very pregnant by that time. i'm thinking lemon pepper turkey?

i was debating the merits of the cooking post, because that's what i've been doing most this weekend, versus a post about new orleans in the civil war. clearly i started with the food stuff. maybe i'll work on my history lesson for tomorrow.



*these were supposed to be two breads, in two 8 inch pans of one 9 inch pan. the pans were right, the recipe was very wrong. i should have realized it from the beginning, how can the contents of one 9 inch pan make two 8 inch breads? so, banana bars. with cream cheese frosting. and chopped walnuts. because secretly martha stuart makes me hot.

martha's out on the carriage roads today. and apparently she was nice. prison can't be so bad.

i've been trying to write something all day and everything i get down eventually gets trashed. what is there to write about so much devastation? personal things all seem so trivial. you should see the pile of saved as drafts, really it's amazing how much drivel you can write when your thoughts are compromised by news reports from the south and your dad is weeping on the phone because that poor man's wife was swept away. i've earmarked the money i would've spent on coffee to go to the red cross because my mom will kick my ass on the other side if i can't see fit to show the generous compassion she would. i'd rather go without the caffeine.

i've just returned from the eyedoctor. my lenses are totally exactly what i want, but they're too flat. according to mr. doctor man. could i be less satisfied? maybe if i sat in the waiting room for half an hour without acknowledgement, was smiled and nodded at for 1/2 hour and then sent on the path to curvier lenses with no true acknowledgement about anything i was having trouble with i'd be less satisfied, but wait...
i sent matt some rather colorful texts while waiting. he offered to come bitch with me, but since i can't see how that would further my cause i decided just to keep sending him texts until he gets fired. clearly the wise choice.
i'm wearing the offending flat lenses now, and i have to admit that i can read the tiniest words from accross the room. but since that doesn't help with my depth perception in situations like, uhm, crossing traffic i'm not sure how great it really is.
because the bookstore lost half it's staff, i spent the evening by myself telling the odd customers that "no, we're not a used bookstore" and the even ones "no, there isn't another bookstore in Bar Harbor". and also, you know you're a dork when you spend most of your evening describing the difference between Eragon and Aragorn. and whoa, are there alot of scary websites with you type in aragorn. like this one, this one, and this one. maybe not scary as in like, BOO, but who has that much free time? Eragon the book is very popular and Eldest, has incited as many requests from children as harry potter. not as many adults, but definitely as many kids. atleast in town. a very sweet boy who was on vacation told me his copy is waiting for him at home. he left after the release date but he wasn't going to spring the 15 dollars to have it the day it was released. "no one needs a book that bad". some kids rock.

i found frames that i liked, for glasses and sunglasses. they weren't exactly cheap, but i'm satisfied with the price. i waited for an hour an a half (i figured for two pairs, i could hardly hold them to the hour for crafting my lenses) and then they were all ready for me to try on. AND THE FUCKING PRESCRIPTION IS WRONG. do we remember what happened last time i got new glasses. i do. the precription was wrong. and i had to go to the ellsworth office and have them fix it. apparently ellsworth and bar harbor don't comunicate because the asshats here in bar harbor started with the bad prescription. so, if you're eye is falling out of your head, drive to ellsworth. it's worth it. trust me.
i'm actually a little less aggravated today. i was a wee bit irate after spending most of my saturday before work waiting for the wrong glasses to be made. not that it's the fault of the nice people at lenscrafters. they were lovely. they all helped me pick between two frames and they were adorable about it in their matching black coats. very perky. according to matt the frames are very amy. they're sort of brown and yellow, but really they're nice although in print that sounds pretty awful. they're cute, really.
i spent yesterday on my hands and knees and not in a fun way. the floor is the cleanest it's been since i've lived there. i totally flattened the scrub brush, that's how determined my scrubbing was. i asked matt if it looked cleaner, and he said "did you wash it?" and i said "i scrubbed it for hours..." and he said "that's a start..." and then i stabbed him with a meat thermometer just like in that movie with gwyneth paltrow and now I have to scrub it again because you wouldn't believe the staining. what he doesn't realize is that i only scrubbed it so that next time he offers to scrub it, it won't be as embarrassing and i'll say yes, please do scrub my floor. and then cook me a chicken pot pie.
but maybe that's the sleep deprivation speaking.

i think my favorite thing about amy coming is that i can say "that's what i thought!" and she'll get it. and maybe "sarr weclosd". i love how the same guy can really annunciate in so many different ways. it's like a smorgasbord of grammar.

i tried on every pair of glasses in the city of bangor last night. some of them i liked. one of them i really liked, but the frames are almost as much as my rent, so i had to vote no. it's possible that some of them were perfectly fine, but i just couldn't decide. this happens more than not when i'm shopping. sarah can testify to that, having done alot more actual buying on our shopping trips than i have. i'm thinking i'll try again on saturday, by myself. not to say that matt was unhelpful. he did spend alot of time playing with a tractor at pearl.* he smiled and frowned accordingly. but since every pair i tried on was the same** i don't know how much i trust his judgement. my favorites were armani. my second favorites were very green. if they had been less green, i'd have taken them home. my third favorites were both green and black, affordable, but just a little too funky. there were cut out swirls which really worked better than it sounds, but just not quite me.
i should have made sunglasses a priority, as i have a road trip scheduled in a month. a road trip with AMYMAS. who is flying into bangor on the 24th. she actually bought tickets. I AM PSYCHED. i keep hitting matt and saying "AMY'S COMING". mary has encouraged me to take friday off "sick" because i'm out of vacation days. bless her. we're going to canada. i'm going to cross the border again. matt offered to clean the car again so it'll be neat incase they search it. he's so thoughtful.

and also, just because it's interesting, did y'all know that russia has more than one currency. me neither. furthermore, a foreign bank has to have a correspondent bank to recieve a wire transfer in US Funds. this russian bank does not have a correspondent bank. but they only deal in us funds. which is, by the first rule, impossible. funny.

* who knew john deere made eyeglasses? "hey jim, i like those specs." "thanks bill, there deere's". tee hee hee.

** a comment for which i made him buy me ice cream. because they were not all the same, and also i wanted ice cream.

since everyone is writing about books, and i work in a damn bookstore, i think i'll make it a booky post today.
i just finished mr. darcy takes a wife. i put it down for a long time because it really wasn't what i was expecting. it was a little racy for jane austen. the author speculated that since jane never married she never knew anything about sex and therefor never wrote anything about sex. then again she was a vicar's daughter* and it wasn't the most respectable thing for a woman to be a writer quite yet, so i can't see her publishing an edwardian playboy even if she did happen to get it on in her lifetime. the book was not a terrible book and it did explore some interesting ideas and now it's done and it can sit all pretty on my bookshelf until i sell it for an 1/8 of the price, unless ofcourse someone wants to read it?
i just finished another damn memoir. since i finished it the day afer i bought it, it never made it to the i'm currently reading section. i had to special order it from the bookstore, even though we're supposed to have one. fuck if i could find it. this happens often, as i had exactly the same problem with devil in the white city. non-fiction often gets mixed up with fiction because the difference, to most folks, is pretty intangible. it's similar to the distinction between trade and mass market paperbacks. a very fine line. for both books i searched high and low. fiction and non-fiction. i even checked comic books and humor because the cover of i'm not the new me is vaguely comic book esque and some of the folks i work with are morons. and then i special ordered it, and now i'm all done. for all the damn searching i wish i had stretched out the reading a little more.



*almost entirely certain that's a fact.

we've had beautiful weather since we came back from "maryland", it was supremely crappy for our vacation. matt says "next time we should really go to maryland, it has to be warmer" which is probably true.* the best weather here, or my partiality, is when it's clear and sunny and "crisp". i was rhapsodizing about this weather just before matt and i stopped for ice cream, even though it was penquin style cold, because it's august and we should take advantage of summer ice cream possibilities. my favorite part of fall is the sweaters. i love sweaters. it's all very j. crew catalogue. fall and sweaters, and maybe some pumpkins in the background. i sometimes wonder if one day matt will think i've lost it, like for real. until then he lets me scrape the rest of my icecream on to his cone without his permission so i won't get frostbite on my tongue.**

in general, things are going well. jobs are proceeding as expected and matt wonders aloud what hello kitty toaster will look like in his apartment with no actual need to think about moving in for awhile. he thinks his friends will enjoy kitty toast and i think they respect his happiness enough not to pick on him.*** other things within my family are not going well. everyone misses mom. dad and emily especially. i worried most about matt and his drinking, but he seems to be dealing relatively well. dad has trouble getting back to his old routines. his favorite things, birding and yoga, seem to be hard for him to get back into. he spends alot of time in the house, alone. my aunts visit him during the week, the same routine they had when my mom was alive. emily visits with the kids. and now emily's family is falling apart. there's no need to catalogue it all here, but she's facing the new school year for reid as a first grader, grace with day care for only two days of the week and the last four months of her pregnancy alone. in alot of ways it can't be any worse than having jeff and his daughter to take care of, that doesn't really help make her situation any better. i am powerless to know what to do or how to help her, but i can't bear that she's suffering.

(somehow the light hearted footnotes feel innapropriate with the way this post ends, so i thought i'd put in a buffer. a parentheseed buffer. a buffer in which you can ponder the appropriateness of my pluralization of the word parenthesis.)

*apparently i have the coldest feet on earth and matt fears for january. everynight he stays over he lists the various woolen undergarments he'll have to purchase to survive the horror of my cold and bloodless feet. i think secretly he likes it.

**"i know i should remind you to get the kid size but i always think it might piss you off, like i think you only need the small one or something and really it doesn't matter because i'd totally buy you the large one if that's like what you wanted..." it goes on from there but i'll spare him that. he has a point, i never can finish my damn ice cream.

***also his family. many members notorious for "giving alot of shit" to people, treat me with more respect. either i look like i don't take any shit which is probable, or they know he's never had a "serious" (dear god how i hate to type that) girlfriend before and no one wants to risk rocking his boat which i think is more likely.

just returned from the eye doctor. all damage repaired and the new prescription is a very small change. which is good because it means my sight's not that bad, but somehow it pisses me off that i'm not getting my money's worth from the visit and the expense of new lenses. if i was going blind i'd consider it money well spent. i puzzled matt with this logic...just another service i provide.
i don't think i've ever been compared to a sitcom before, thanks sarah! we didn't have any wacky adventures or family heart to hearts at the end, no one really seemed to care. works for me.
we went to campobello island on friday, which was very pretty. i can tell you the customs officials there take their work very seriously. for a ten mile island. on saturday i made popovers from scratch (not that this is hard) and we went to a truck pull. very literally we watched street style pick-up trucks try to pull weights down a track. FOR FOUR HOURS. i'm building up girlfriend points. maybe i'll earn enough for a new car.
yesterday i cleaned my house top to bottom, and matt did my laundry and my bidding in general. we made chicken marsala that he liked and i couldn't eat. it was very sweet, i did something wrong. but probably we don't need to cook a recipe that uses 4 tablespoons of butter and oil. unless it's macaroni and cheese. mmmmm.

because we're pretending to go on vacation instead of actually going, i've been walking around saying i can't wait to go to "maryland" complete with finger quotes. i'm very excited to sleep in. and wash dishes. and go to the grocery store. and get my hair cut.
since we're going to "maryland" in about an hour, i have a lot to do. it's alot of work pretending you were earning your pay for a whole week while your boss was gone. i should get a raise. atleast i'm getting a haircut. my sister was very generous when she said it looked like i meant it to be that way. but i know she's lying. but actually, her hair hasn't grown that much since her last cut in february. we thought it was stress. and then went and got pregnant which is supposed to make your hair grow. and yet, nothing. craziness. hair craziness.

why just decorate the comments section with my culinary prowess. why not spread the love of chocolate far and wide...

"the mousse was very good. i changed the ratios*, 11 ozs melted dark chocolate to 16 oz whipping cream. you have to fold it A LOT for it to be smooth and i think i'll use less chocolate next time. it makes a LOT of mousse**, but it's very good and simple. easier than the egg varieties.
as a topping to cake, it's too much chocolate for me. which surprised matt as i was nearly confused for a chocolate importer at the border crossing***. but he really liked it. i think a more dense cake than the chocolate butter cake would be better. or alone with some plain whipped cream. also, decorative chocolate flakes help you pretend you folded enough and cover the chunks well."

i have also been teaching matt the wonders of garlic. his mother never used garlic, so he must be taught. he's starting to like what i cook most of the time. YAY!

*did i even mention the recipe before?
**can one have too much mousse?
***not really.

the trip to maryland is off because i am ridiculously poor. on the upside the geo might be sold. i just have to call my daddy. if things work out it might all be over by this weekend. instead of going to maryland matt and i are going to sleep in and eat alot and probably scrub my floor. we're also going to watch the truck pulls at the skowhegan fair. the trade for which is going to be shopping and probably more than one dough boy. it's amazing how quickly an empty weekend fills up with things.
matt's company picnic is this weekend, and since we were supposed to be out of state we don't have to go. what we have to do is lay low and tell no one that we aren't really going. apparently they all really want to meet me, hmm. as much as i'd like to, i really am not capable of being charming on an as needed basis. plus, i have no idea how to charm people of matt's social circle. none at all. so i'm relieved that he'd prefer the truck pulls to my grilling at the hands of his co-workers.
at the bookstore last night i mentioned my secret hatred of people who purchase odd numbers of postcards and the other workers totally agree. YES!!! i also learned that UMO takes a damn long time reviewing their resumes from other folk's experiences so i'll pretend that maybe i'll still get an interview. and by then maybe i'll be able to turn on the charm switch, as well as the perfect skills switch, and kick some interview ass. er...